Master Index - W, XYZ

1-A    B    C   D    E    F    G    H    I    J-K    L    M    N   O    P-Q    R    S   T    U    V    WXYZ

How to Use the Index

This Master Index covers thousands of topics found in every Real Love book, the 500 Daily Coaching Videos and all the blogs.

Note that all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book but not to location numbers in Kindle books.

In this index you can find Real Love answers to all your questions—it's like having your own personal coach 24/7.


How can you use it? Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Example One:
You want to tell the truth about yourself to your spouse. You want to change the direction of your marriage and create genuine, intimate, and lasting connections between you. How do you start? What can you say? Let’s look at the index:

Click on the T above and then go to Truth Telling, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings, like “about ourselves,” “about your spouse,” “about our mistakes,” and more.

Or click on M and go to Marriage, truth telling in

Example Two:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P and go to Parenting, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest, like “teaching children about choice,” and more.


The following abbreviations are used throughout the Master Index:

DC = Daily Coaching Videos, 1 - 505
B = Blog, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
RL = The book, Real Love
RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
RLP = Real Love in Parenting
RLD = Real Love in Dating
RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
RLW= Real Love in the Workplace
EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books


W’s, the Five examples, PCSD 240-5, PCSD 250-2, PCSD 262-4
using to tell the truth about ourselves, PCSD 240-5
Waiting, victimhood and, RLV 206
Walk in woods, metaphor, PCSD 268-9, RLV 334-5
Wal-Mart, metaphor for teaching with consequences, DC143
“Want,” meaning of, B14Dec15
Wanter, responsible for getting what he wants, B25Mar15
Wanting, motivation problematic, B02Sep16
Wants vs. needs, DC361-362, B19Mar14, PCSD 358-61
Real Love approach to, B08Mar17
responding to, DC459 - 460 - 461- 462- 463
understanding, DC459 - 460 - 461- 462- 463
Warrior 13th, prayer in, B08Jan16
Wart King:
metaphor compared to your life, EWB187-9, BWB222-7
story of, RL 41-4, RLM 53-5
took steps to find Real Love, RL 64
Watch, repairing, B26Mar18
Water, compared to Real Love, RLWM 266
Water leaking in basement, EWB144
Waterfall, functions when pumps function, B22Jan16, B01Jun16
Waterfalls, B03Jun11
Watershed, B24Apr18
Wave, unseen, B26Jan11
emptiness of, B22Aug11
pursuit of, B22Aug11
Wedding vows, what we hear, RLV 73
deceptive if they grow cotton candy, B13Jul09
definition, B13Jul09, B21Sep15
eliminating, B21Sep15
grow quickly, B13Jul09
in our lives, B13Jul09
like negative thoughts, B15Sep17
look like desirable plants, B09Dec08
pulling, B09Feb15
Weeping, why, B26Nov14
Weight, less important than feeling loved, DC504
Weight lifting:
like life, B10Jul17
metaphor for learning Real Love, DC155, DC330, B05Feb08
unsteadiness of, B10Jul17
Weights, lifting, ability to compared to ability to love, EWB 293
difficult to understand, B06Jul16
we are all, B06Jul16
What do you really want, see Choices, what really want
What people say and do (real meaning), RLV 6-9, RLV46-9, RLV 69
"What should I do?" B12Jun18
1. What did he/she/they do?, RLW 131-2, RLW242, RLW281-2, BWB278-81, BWB291, BWB423, BWB440
2. What did you do?, RLW 132-3,RLW 242, BWB282-4, 2BWB92-3, BWB423-4, BWB431, BWB440, BWB447-8
3. Why did you both behave as you did?, RLW133-4, RLW 2, BWB284-5, BWB293, BWB426-7
4. Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently under similar circumstances next time?, RLW243, BWB285-6, BWB293-4, BWB427, BWB432-3, BWB444-5
5. What could you do right now to make things different?, RLW243, RLW281-2
examples of using, RLW 131-4, RLW242-3, EWB243-56, EWB239, EWB292-3, EWB385, EWB405, EWB413-5, BWB286-8, BWB407
introduction to, RLW130-31, EWB243, BWB278-88
What-What-Why-What-What, see W’s, the Five
good and bad, B13Mar17
winnowing, B01Jul11
“Where are you going?” meaning of, RLP110
not helpful, B28Jul14
vs. eating, B15Aug14
Who we are:
accepting all of it, B05Aug16
all integrated, B05Aug16
be, B08Jan18
composed of so many parts, B05Aug16
confusion about, B04Jul11, B08Jul15
covered by what we were taught, B24Feb14, B16Jul14
demonstrated by our behavior, B16Mar16
discover with Real love, B24Feb14, B02May14, B30May14, B16Jul14
discovered by action, B02Sep15, B03Mar17
discovering with practice, B03Mar17
distorted by pain and fear, B08Jul15
don't hide, B08Jan18
expressing and practicing, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
expressing in conflict, B25Mar16
expressing not proving, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
expression and practice, B22Nov17
expression according to whether we’re afraid or loved, B16Jul14
finding, B08Jul15, B31Oct16
finding, examples, B10Feb17
getting help to see, 04Jul11, B02May14
hidden, B11Mar15
how to find, B02Sep15
importance of being, B25Mar16
learning, B02May14, B30May14
losing with pain and fear, B15Jul16, B19Feb18
lost when we earn acceptance, B29Aug14
need others to discover, B03Mar17
not collection of our G&PBs, B24Feb14, B16Jul14
others help us discover, B03Mar17
pain distorts, and then we can’t see, B16Jul14
proving not effective, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
revealed by love, B11Mar15
seeing, B04Dec06, 04Jul11, B04May15, B05Aug16
self-deception about, B16Jul14, B29Aug14
sense of not innate, B24Feb14e
we don’t see, B04May15
Whole package, B14Aug15
Whore, feeling like, B12Apr17
not useful, B30Dec16
question, B30Dec16
things happen, B30Dec16
“Why,” meaning of, B21Dec15
Wilcox, Ella Wheeler, RLWM 50
key to everything, B20Mar17
key to partnership, B20Mar17
to change required for relationship, B28Oct11
to learn, B20Mar17
Will power:
often not enough, BWB 432-3
Wind, needed, B25Nov16
Windows, stuck, B08Dec17
Winds of Fate, poem, RLWM 50
Windshield, wiping, B20Jan17
Wings and Real Love, B07Nov06
Winnie-the-Pooh, pearls of, B19Dec16
dangers of, DC247, B23Jan08
obsession with, B23Jan08
power from, DC247
see Competition
Wise man:
essential, B27Dec17
function of, B29Sep17
how helped Wart King to tell truth, EWB191, BWB227
love and teach, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
role of, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
sometimes "mean", B17Apr18, B17Jul18
trusting, B27Feb17
unafraid of causing pain, B14Sep16
Wise Man, The, book, purpose of, RLWM 1, RLWM 39
Wise Man, the, story of, RL41-4, RLM 53-5
Wise men (and women):
attracted to truth, RL 83, RLM 55-6, RLWM 12
becoming, RLWM 4-6
beginner, examples, RL 89-90
can’t choose the specific one you want to love you, RLWM 8
can’t judge by effect on others, B25Jun14
changing relationship with, RLWM 16-17
created by truth-telling, RL 83-4
creating, RLWM15, RLW137, RLP105
criticizing, B26Oct16
dangers of being, B02Nov11
definition, RL 46, RL 83, RLM 56, RLP102, RLD 56, RLWM 1, RLW125, BWB17
discouragement as, RLWM 101-2
effect of, RL 76, RL 80-2, RL 210
eliminates emptiness and fear and conflict, examples, BWB330
examples of correcting, RL 75-8, RL 155
examples of helping truth-telling, RL 75-8, RL 80-2, RL 89-90, RL 97-9, RL 101-2, RL 118-19, RL 124-8, RL 129-30, RL 144-6, RL 146-7, RL 219-20, RL 245, RL 246-8, RL248-9, RL255-6
example of seeing, RL80-2, RL101-2, RL137-9
expressing love, B25Mar08
faith in people learning, B26May08
faith not in himself, RLWM 272
feeling of Real Love from, B21Sep09, B18Jan12
feels loved, RLWM 3-6
find by telling the truth about ourselves, PCSD 236-7, PCSD 246-8, PCSD 291-4, PCSD 318
finding, RL83-5, RL94, RLM 55-6, RLM 69-73, RLP103, RLP105, RLWM 12-17, RLW 125, RLW136-7, BWB17
finding combination of loving, teaching, and faith, B05Aug15
finding, how, B01Jul11
gender can be distracting, RLWM 16
getting help from before too late, B18May11
giving and receiving, RLWM 2-3
giving up on people, RLWM 167-9
help us see who we really are, B04Jul11, B26Dec13
helping drowning people, B02Nov11, B16Mar12, B20Aug14
helping people tell the truth about themselves, not always well received, RLWM 10
imitation, description, RLWM 20-2
imitation, examples, RLWM 22-9
in Real Love Groups, BWB17-19
intermittent, RL165, RLWM 18-19
Jesus example of, BWB235-6
learn from times when you are, RLWM 18
learned, RLWM 17-19
love and teach, B09Nov11, B25Jun14
loved enough, RLWM 123-4
loves and teaches, RLWM 11, RLWM 105, RLWM 125, RLWM 214
loving, RLWM 9-11
loving, why, RLWM11-12
make mistakes, B26Oct16
making mistakes as, RLWM 17-18, RLWM 118
mission to love and teach, RLWM 11
must be very direct sometimes, B26Nov07, B09Nov11, B16Mar12, B11Feb13, B13Aug14, BWB235-6, BWB292
must be willing sometimes to “hurt” people, B16Mar12
must be willing to take risks in telling people truth, B26Nov07, B09Nov11
must feel loved, RLWM 3-6
natural result of being loved, seeing, and accepting, RL165, RLWM 6
need for, B28Nov06, B19Feb07, B21Sep09, B18May11, B11Feb13, B20Dec13a, B21Dec13a, B26Dec13, B14Mar14, B20Aug14, B01Oct14, B25May15, B04May15, B17Jul15, B10Oct16, B15May17
need for regular contact with, B18May11
need to help us see truth about ourselves, BWB235-6, BWB292, BWB423-4, BWB432
no fear essential, B03Jul15
not required to be perfect, B26Oct16
not responsible for changing people, RLWM 272
not responsible for happiness of other people, RLWM 100-102, RLWM 167-9
not technique, RLWM 7, RLWM 144
opinion of worth more than million blind people, B18Jan12, B27Feb12
power of, RLWM 262, B11Mar15
practice being on each other, RLWM 17
praise for, RLWM 101
pride as, RLWM 101-2
qualities of, RLD 56-62
rewards of being, RLWM 19-20
role, B18May15
role of, examples, B23Sep15
sees clearly, RLWM 6-9
sometimes “mean,” B09Nov11, B16Mar12, B11Feb13, B26Dec13, B13Aug14
submission to, B26Mar07, B20Aug14
vs coaching, B10Feb16
“Wish,” meaning of, B14Dec15
Wisteria, vine, B27Jun16
conditional time not conditional love, B24Jun15
different from running, RLWM 250-1
from people, how to do unconditionally, B24Jun15
how, B07Nov11, B24May17
loving, B07Nov11
necessary sometimes, B07Nov11
vs. running, B24May17
Withdrawal from conflict, PCSD 301-4
Withdrawing, RLM 124-5
Withdrawing, see Running
Withdrawing from difficult interaction:
different from running, EWB347, BWB377
what to say, EWB345, BWB376-7
Witherspoon, Reese, B31Oct06
affected by emptiness and fear, B20Jan12
Wolves, two, EWB157, BWB187-8
Won't, vs can't, B19Apr17
Wood, splitting, B25May11
Woods, walk in, metaphor, PCSD 268-9, RLV 309-10
affect feelings, B19Oct16
choosing, B11Dec15
confusing, B02Apr12, B30May12, B23Apr14
effects of, B16Sep15
important, B09Nov15, B16Nov15, B23Nov15, B30Nov15, B07Dec15, B14Dec15, B21Dec15, B28Dec15, B04Jan16
like bricks, B02Mar11
lost in, B02Apr12
mean nothing often, B23Apr14
meaning of, B16Sep15
meaningless compared to behavior, see Behavior, tell the truth, not words
more harmful that we often realize, B09Nov15, B16Nov15, B23Nov15, B30Nov15, B07Dec15, B14Dec15,, B28Dec15, B04Jan16
often used to get and protect, B02Mar11, B02Apr12
real meaning of most of time, about Real Love, B11Nov08, B23Sep11
too many, B02Mar11, B23Sep11, B02Apr12, B21Nov16
use instead of anger, B27Oct17
used to express anger, B27Oct17
victims use many, B02Mar11
vs. actions, B30May12, B26Dec12, B23Apr14
Wordsworth, William, PCSD 58-9
Work (working):
assignments, how, B27Nov17
happiness from, B22Sep14
hard required for big results, B25Oct17
its own motivation, RLW 41-3,RLW 105
lack of learning, B04Aug17
outside home, children, RLP380-1
sometimes inconvenient, B05Dec16
Workplace (Work):
anger in, DC291, DC293-295
angry customer in, RLV 166-7, RLV 284-6
cost of victimhood in, RLV 227-31
co-worker, annoying, DC26
co-worker telling lies, DC39, DC40
discontented employee, responding to in, RLV 286-8
firing, preventing, DC214
firing employees, DC86
getting and protecting behaviors in, DC71, DC72, DC73
imitation love in, DC69, DC70
lazy employee, DC46
listening in, DC214
listening to victims in, RLV 252-4
loving, examples, B16Jan17
loving, how, B16Jan17
lying in, responding to, DC109-110
making choices in, RLWM 68
negotiation in, DC293-295
power of Real Love in, DC294-295
quitting in, DC292
Real Love effects, examples, DC467
real love in, DC24, DC109-110, RL222-5, RLWM 233-4, RLWM 239-42, RLV 225-7
resolving conflict in, RLWM 239-42, RLWM 246-8
teacher and principal, DC54
telling the truth about others in, RLWM 233-4
telling the truth about ourselves in, RLWM 238
truth telling in, DC214, DC292
unappreciated employee and critical boss in, RLV 167-8
victimhood in, examples, DC89-90-91, DC293-295, RLV 166-8, RLV 206-7, RLV 252-4, RLV 283-8
change, B03Jul17
Real Love doesn’t fit in, B29Aug14
turmoil of, Real Love protects us from, B02Jun14
World Trade Center, B05Nov08
eating, B03Dec14
horses don’t eat, DC496-497
not a step, B05May17, B26Jan18
stupid, B26Jan18
useless, B13Jul15
actions proceed from, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
expressing, not proving, B14Aug17
inherent, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
proof of, B24Oct14
proving, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
Worthiness, perspective of changed by trauma, PCSD 34
based on bad evidence, B14Dec16
cycle, B24Jul15
feelings of, B07Dec11
feelings of at root of all our complaints, B27Feb12, B23Jul12
feelings of based on lies, B27Feb12, B23Jul12
origin of, B07Dec11
perpetuation of, B07Dec11
proof not true, B14Dec16
proof of, B14Dec16
responding to people who feel, PCSD 310-11, PCSD 332-3, PCSD 339-40, RLV 295-6
aggressive must stop before passive, B01Aug11
all boil down to lack of Real Love, RLWM 259-62
all similar, PCSD 331-40
become scars that can make progress & happiness impossible, B25May11
central is not being loved, RLP127-8
detailing not important, RLWM 261-2
distracting sometimes, EWB179, BWB212-3
do not define us, EWB179, BWB212-3, BWB214
don’t define us, RLV 221-4
dressing vs. treating real problem, EWB17, BWB30-2
focusing on, B29Jun16
healed by Real Love, DC94, DC255-256 healed by Real Love, RL14
healing, RLP127-33, B09Aug17
hidden, PCSD 4, PCSD 87-95
living with, B09Aug17
no more, PCSD 300-304
not noticed, PCSD 13-14
of helplessness, PCSD 96-101
old surface, B16Dec16
ours felt most, B24May17
outweigh occasional moments of loving, PCSD 102-3
perpetuation of with Imitation Love, PCSD 111-12
preventing, PCSD 300-304
primary, PCSD 72-8, PCSD 96, PCSD 331-40, BWB212-4
primary in life is lack of Real Love, RLW11-12, RLW 16-17
re-wounding, PCSD 300
same effect, despite differences in delivery, PCSD 15
stop creating first, B24May17
stopping before healing can begin, B01Aug11
two, B12Jan11
ultimate, EWB181
Workbook, using, see Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Wriston, Walter, RLW 3
admitting being, RLM 129-34, RLWM 217-18, RLWM 225, RLWM 228, RLWM 230, RLWM 232, RLWM 237

admitting, criterion for choosing partner, RLD 111

admitting, eliminates conflict, B21Nov12
admitting, importance of,
DC27B21Nov12, B09May14, B25Jul14
definition of,
B09May14, RL17, RLWM 84, RLW106-7, BWB377
direction makes growth impossible,
examples, RLW22-3, RLW 126-8, BWB241-2, BWB287, BWB287-8
exercise for, BWB240-1
fear of, BWB238, BWB241, BWB416
freedom from, RLP91, RLP190-2, RLW111
freedom of being,
DC27, B03Jun08B09May14

hating, B19Jul17
if unhappy, EWB347-9, BWB378
important quality to look for in partner, BWB437
in others, our right to stop,
makes change possible, RLP91, RLP189-90, RLP190-2
most of the time, RLP189-90
not when you’re not, BWB286
see Truth telling
true meaning of,
truth, RLP189-90
unhappiness a sign of being, RL 66-7
victims cannot be, RLV 106-7
when angry, can eliminate anger, BWB378, RLW 111
when unhappy, BWB378
Wrong, admitting:
criterion for marriage partner, RL262-3
doesn’t make us bad, RL 67
examples, RL101-2, RL118-19, RL241, RL 250-3, EWB347-9
exercise for, EWB205
fear of, EWB397
freedom of,
DC186-187, B31Jan07BB09May14, RL 250-3
important quality to look for in partner, EWB421
makes Real Love possible, EWB347-9, RL 262-3
not necessarily about content of conflict, just anger and not being loving, EWB205-7, EWB255-6
resistance to,
see Truth telling
when angry can eliminate anger, EWB347-9
when unhappy, EWB347-9

X, Y, Z

Yates, Andrea, B01Jun11
Yelling, better than killing, B03May17
Yes, but, B28Oct16
“You,” meaning of, B28Dec15
“You’re beautiful,” ways to say, RLM 253

Zero tolerance:
for anger, B10Oct12B05Dec14
for any behavior or belief that distracts us from Real Love, B20Jun14
Zions National ParkB19Oct15