Master Index - I

1-A    B    C   D    E    F    G    H    I    J-K    L    M    N   O    P-Q    R    S   T    U    V    WXYZ

How to Use the Index

This Master Index covers thousands of topics found in every Real Love book, the 500 Daily Coaching Videos and all the blogs.

Note that all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book but not to location numbers in Kindle books.

In this index you can find Real Love answers to all your questions—it's like having your own personal coach 24/7.


How can you use it? Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Example One:
You want to tell the truth about yourself to your spouse. You want to change the direction of your marriage and create genuine, intimate, and lasting connections between you. How do you start? What can you say? Let’s look at the index:

Click on the T above and then go to Truth Telling, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings, like “about ourselves,” “about your spouse,” “about our mistakes,” and more.

Or click on M and go to Marriage, truth telling in

Example Two:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P and go to Parenting, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest, like “teaching children about choice,” and more.


The following abbreviations are used throughout the Master Index:

DC = Daily Coaching Videos, 1 - 505
B = Blog, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
RL = The book, Real Love
RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
RLP = Real Love in Parenting
RLD = Real Love in Dating
RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
RLW= Real Love in the Workplace
EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books


“I don’t like,” meaning of, B23Nov15
"I don't like it," not a plan, B06Oct17
“I don’t love you”:
anger communicates, EWB41-47, BWB52
effect of, EWB41-43, BWB430
examples, B29Apr08
exchange of in sequence of Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLW 85-6, BWB 431, BWB432
meaning of, DC7-8-9-10, DC11
meaning of Getting and Protecting Behaviors, DC384, DC411-412-413, B29Apr08
message of disappointment of anger, RLW15-16
message of Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLW85-6
real subject of all conflicts, RLW89-91
role of in conflict, EWB417, BWB431
the message of disappointment or irritation, RLV13
use of Imitation Love communicates, RLW57-8
ways to communicate, RLW11-12, RLW57-8
“I don’t understand,” meaning of, B26Sep16
“I feel bad”, B11Dec15
“I forgot,” real meaning of, RLP334-5
“I love you”:
and “I want to marry you,” RLD122-3
“because”, RL33-5, RLM 18, RLD23, RLWM 11-12
confusion around meaning, EWB27-31, BWB40-3
examples, B25Mar08, RLM 98-9
form of Imitation Love, RLD120
in Real Love, RLD120
meanings of, RLD120-3
means less than behavior, RLP150
misuse of, B25Mar08
negative thoughts associated with, DC18, B25Mar08
possible meanings of, RLV155-6
real meaning, RL33-5
real meaning, without enough Real Love, RLD23, EWB27-9, EWB93, BWB43-7, BWB106
reserve for potential spouse, RLD187
saying as often as possible, RLP150
sorting out real meaning, BWB43-7
truth about, RLP109-10
ways to express, B25Mar08
what our partner hears, RLD23
why we tend to say, RLD23, EWB27-9, BWB41
words to use, B25Mar08
“I thought you meant,” RLP204-5
“I want to marry you”:
“I love you” and, RLD122-3
meaning of, RLD122
I'm sorry, alternatives, B28Aug17
IBM, RLW 215
Ibuka, Masaru, RLW207, RLW215
Ice cream, razor blades, B03Apr15
Ideas, contributed by Toyota vs. American employees, RLW 3
Idiot, we often communicate message without words, B12Oct12
IEDs, dangers of, B05Jun17
claim of, B26Sep16
faith in, B12Jun12
ignorance of, B20Dec13
kinds, B11Dec17
meaning of, B26Sep16
not problem when admitted, B01Dec14
of happiness, B11Dec17
of love, B11Dec17
God’s role in inflicting, DC118
Imaginal therapy, PCSD 273
Imitation Love:
acquisition of rules every interaction if we’re empty, RLW249
addict, helping, DC477-478-479
addiction, DC57, DC76, DC477-478-479, B19Jan13, RL22, RLM 11, RLD13-14, RLD109-10, RLWM 26-8, EWB 69-71, BWB78-9
addictive nature of, RLV16-19
advantages, B17Feb17
alone with, RL22, RLD7
all forms deadly distractions, RLP35
always wears off, DC5, DC12, DC55
amount often determines how “happy” we are, RLP77-8
assessing in others, EWB89-91, BWB100
attraction of, DC430-431-432-433, B21Nov06, B21Feb11, B05Aug12, B19Jan13
avoid trading with children, RLP245-52
avoiding, DC388-389-390-391, BWB131, BWB230
basis for relationship, DC100-101-102-103
basis for starting most relationships, RLD16-7, EWB89-91, BWB98-100
behaviors sometimes fall into more than one category of, RLP35
better than nothing, RL22-3
blind to, B04Nov11
blinding, B04Dec06, RLW 57-8
buying, signs that you are, EWB277
can’t make us happy, DC116-117-118-119, B19May07B, B19Jan13
can’t deceive when familiar with Real Love, RL47
can’t fill us up, RLP15, RLP31
cause of death, B04Jul08
caused by emptiness and fear, B04Jun07, RLV14
certainty we will look for when we don’t have enough Real Love, EWB89, BWB98
children taught to buy, EWB361-7, BWB388-93
combinations, DC70, DC100, DC298-299
combinations of forms in, RLD24-5
combinations of in money, sex, careers, RLW52-4
competition for, RLV2-3, RLV46-9
confusion of, B07Aug12
confusing to children when parents call it “love,” RLP35
consequences of demanding, BWB314
cost of, RL22-4, B02Nov15
cost of pursuing, DC234, DC430-431-432-433, B19May07B
criteria for choosing partner, RLD109-10, RLD111-16
danger of, B19May07B, B21Feb11, B05Aug12
deadly, B24Apr15
death by, DC430-431-432-433, B04Jul08, B21Feb11, B13Jan12
deceives us, RL22-3, RL45-6
deception of, DC457, B19May07B, B04Jun07, B09Dec08, B13Jul09, B21Feb11, B13Jan12, B05Aug12, B19Jan13
defined, B31Oct06, RLM 9-11, RLP27, RLP36, RLD9, RLW35, RLW60
defines qualities that attract us to people, EWB91, BWB 99
definition, EWB67, BWB76
desperation for, EWB357-9, BWB101-3, BWB248, BWB387
differential depreciation in, RLW 57
disappointment guaranteed with, B13Jun14
discussion of, PCSD 110-46
distracting, B25Nov08, B09Dec08, B25Jul11, EWB359
distraction, RL22-3, RL45-6, RL222, RLM 12, RLD109-10, RLD191-2, RLWM 222-3, RLWM 267-9
dollars of, RLD17, EWB93, BWB101
don’t see because we’re accustomed to it, B04Nov11
drawbacks of, EWB359, BWB97, BWB387
earned, RL22, RL44-5, RLD6
earned and in limited supply, RLWM 266
earning, examples of, RLD 6
earthly treasure, corruptible, BWB97, BWB114, BWB230
effects fade, RLD12, RLD18-20, RLD109-10, RLD111-12
effects of, DC5, DC69, DC70, PCSD 143-6, EWB359
effects of fleeting, BWB97, BWB114, BWB118, BWB230, BWB387
effects temporary, DC115-116-117-118, DC177-178, DC299-300, DC414, B08Feb13, B13Jun14, RL22, RL34, RLM 11-16
emptiness of, DC303-304-305, B21Nov06, B04Jun07, RL22
examples, B21Nov06, B04Jun07, RLD6, RLD18, RLWM 171, PCSD 110-46, RLV46-9, EWB25-7, EWB31-8, EWB38, EWB55-9, EWB89
examples of in Bible, BWB28, BWB99, BWB103-4
exhausting, RL222
explained, B25Dec15
failure of, B31Oct06, B04Jun07, B19Jan13
faith in, RLD25
falling in love and, B31Oct06
falling out of love, why RLM 11-16
feelings real from, DC414, B19May07B
feels good for while, RL22, RLP31
feels good, like cotton candy, B13Jul09
feels good temporarily, RLW55-6
Field of Death and, RLV43-6, RLW55-9, EWB419
fills emptiness, DC26, B13Jul09, B25Jul11
foolishness of, BWB387
form of irrelevant, DC253
forms not always harmful, EWB85
forms of, not always bad, RL 23, RLM 11
forms, four, RL 18-21
foundation of most relationships, DC29, DC33, DC55
fun, B25Jul11
futility of, B08Feb13, RLV44-5
garbage, compared to, RLD25-6
give up before feeling Real Love, B08Feb16
giving up, DC114, B21Nov06
God’s view of, BWB97, BWB103-4, BWB114, BWB115, BWB118
how to change it, DC12
how we learn to use, EWB101
illusion of, RLD22, EWB15, EWB359, BWB435
illusion of happiness, RLWM 222-3
illustrated, EWB38-9, EWB55-9
important in absence of Real Love, RL230
in children, DC8, DC35
in dating, DC5, EWB355-9, BWB387, BWB435-6
in marriage, DC13, DC65, B31Oct06
in parenting, DC35
in sex, DC12, DC62
includes conditional love, RLD6
keeps us from feeling the Spirit, BWB 98
learning, DC383
limited supply, DC341-342
longer straw from, B08Feb13
loses its power when we have enough Real Love, RLP36
loss of devastating, B12Dec12
lost in, B07Aug12
loud, B25Nov08
love-hate in, B13Jun14
men vs. women, DC373-374
must identify, or we’ll keep using, EWB87-9, BWB95-6
natural but deadly, EWB87, BWB95
need for strong, RLD16
needing approval, DC11
never settle for, EWB357-9, BWB387
no amount can create happiness, RLD92-3, EWB279, EWB357-9, EWB419, BWB314, BWB387
other names for, EWB279-81, BWB 315
parents teach children to buy, EWB361-7
pattern of that we use, RLD24-5, EWB101
pattern of in PCSD, PCSD 111-12, PCSD 143-4
patterns we learn from childhood, BWB110-11
perpetuation of, PCSD 111-12
positive contributions made in world by people who seek, DC234
power from understanding, RLD25-6
power of, DC430-431-432-433, B21Nov06
prison of, DC74, B13Jan12
pursuit of, DC383, B13Jan12, B19Jan13
real feelings from, DC414
reasons for, DC77-78
reasons we use, RL23-4
recognizing, EWB31-8, EWB55-9
relationships based on, DC303-304-305
score keeping in, RLM 180, EWB355-7
seduction of, B19May07B, B21Feb11, B13Jan12, B05Aug12
seductive, B01Jan18
see Praise, addiction bad business, RLW55
seems important in absence of Real Love, DC116
sex as form of, PCSD 324-31
signs of, DC13
so common we see it as normal, EWB87, BWB95
song of, DC495, B25Nov08
soup, DC100
switching from one form to another, B21Nov06
temporary, B18Jul16, B24Feb17
test for whether a form is Imitation or not, BWB92-3
trading, DC11, DC12, DC13, DC15, DC65, DC72, DC75, DC76, DC101-102-103, DC113-114, DC244-245, DC296-297, DC303-304-305, DC359, DC373, DC388-389-390-391, DC414-415, DC422-423, DC430-431-432-433, DC477-478-479, DC495-496-497, B31Oct06, B21Jan11, RL52, RL207-8, RLP35-6, RLP70, RLD16-21, RLD24-5, RLD112, PCSD 138-9, PCSD 224-5, PCSD 325-9, RLV161-2, RLW55-9
trading becomes unfair, RL34, RLM 13-14
trading, examples, RLW56-7
trap of, B21Feb11, B13Jan12, B05Aug12, B19Jan13, B08Feb13
trauma of, PCSD 143-6
types of, DC5, DC12, DC13, DC62, DC63
understanding gives us power, EWB89
use because of lack of Real Love, RL18
use of, criteria against choosing partner, RLD109-10
use of communicates “I don’t love you”, RLW57-8
used to fill our emptiness, RLV14
uses of, DC4, DC5, DC12
using unavoidable in absence of Real Love, EWB61
using understandable in absence of Real Love, RLD109-10
vs. Real Love, like photograph of food vs. food, RLD71
waste, B20Apr15
what most of us have received for lifetime, EWB55-9
why God wants us to avoid, BWB98-9
why pursued, B17Feb17
why we use, DC69, DC70, B04Jun07
works, RL22-4
worthless, DC72, RLD92-3, BWB314
Impossible, happiness with lies, B23May16
Imus, Don, DC192-193-194-195
In behaviors, B21Mar16, B28Mar16
In fear, B21Mar16, B28Mar16
In-between time, RL116
Inaction, price of, B21Apr14, B05Sep14
examples, RLW97-8
if empty and afraid, angry, DC54
overwhelm us only when we don’t have enough Real Love, RLW 98
price of life, RLV54-5, RLV57
see Pain
taken as personal insult by victims, RLV55-7, RLV 57-9
unavoidable, RLW97
Indecision, price of, B14Apr17
Independence, encouraging, RLP273
Indian restaurant, B22May15
Indian story, BWB187-8
Individual, each of us, B10Jul15
Indulging, harmful, DC11
Inertia: RL65, RL161-2, RLP178
power of, B21May12, B19May14, B08Aug14
Innate Character Traits, B08Jul15
avoiding, RLM 74-5, RLM 278-80
cause of, DC4, DC15, DC65, B12Mar14, RLM 275-77, RLD177
flirting a type of, DC4
incidence, RLD 177
nature of, DC201-202
not about you, DC15
reason for, RLD 109-10
responding to, DC4, DC65, DC201-202, DC215-216-217, DC383-384-385-386-387, DC437-438, DC468-469, B14Mar11, B15Nov12, B12Mar14, RLD 109-10, RLD 177-8
responding to the “other person” not necessary, DC15
responding to, RLM277-78
prevention, RLM 280-81, RLD 179-80
understanding, DC468-469, B15Nov12, B12Mar14
varieties, RLM 278-80, RLD 178-9
Influence, exponential, B03Jul17
Influences, in our lives often unseen, B10Apr17
age, B09Jul08
changes decisions, B08Aug16
love more important than, B09Jul08
world filled with but still lost, B09Jul08
Ingratitude, responding to, RLP80-1
Injuries, related to conflict in workplace, RLW7
defining, DC158
myth of, DC158
our right to correct, B15Aug12
responding to, DC158-159-160, B15Aug12
Innovation, see Creativity


allowing to pass, B16Jan13

not over-analyzing, B16Jan13

temporary, B16Jan13
Insignificant figures, B07Aug15
described, PCSD 22-3
effect on memory, PCSD 25-30
effects in PTSD, PCSD 24, PCSD 31-6
hazards of, PCSD 23
of Real Love into sick whole difficult, PCSD 92
when the whole is diseased, PCSD 75-77, PCSD 92
Intellect, not enough to produce happiness, B31Jan07, B20Jan11
Intensive care, B16Aug07
alone, not enough, B15Apr11
International conflicts and victimhood, RLV172, RLV179
advantages of in dating, RLD 131-2
arranging personal meeting, RLD 138-9
dating, how it works, RLD 132-9
e-mailing partners, RLD 136-7
exchanging phone numbers on, RLD 137-8
posting photo on, RLD 134-5
profile, creation and use of, RLD 132-4
use, recreational, RLW51-2
Interrogation, handling, B04Nov15
foolishness of, B03Nov14
preventing, B17Oct14
response to, B17Oct14
described, B20Jun12
effects of, B17Sep12
examples, B17Sep12
why, B20Jun12
why pay for, B20Jun12
Interviews, parent-child:
content, RLP 359-61
examples, RLP 360-1
kinds of, RLP 358
planned, RLP 358
purpose, RLP 357-8
where, RLP 358-9
physical, guidelines, B01Feb17
true is emotional, not physical, B01Feb17
Intuition, definition, B16Mar18
Islam, and Jews, B24Mar07
becoming, B09Mar18
miracle of, B03Jun16
refuge of, B03Jun16
Island and starving, RL3
Israel, and conflict with Palestine, RLV179