Love and Hate

By Greg Baer M.D.

June 13, 2014

In the book, The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne stated, “It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom.”

Hawthorne had the insight to pose an important question but not to suggest the answer. Hatred and love DO have the same root, but only in the realm of Imitation Love, only on the Field of Death.

Suppose that I am empty and needy, and I know nothing of Real Love. If you briefly supply me with praise, power, or pleasure (Imitation Love) to the point that my pain is diminished, I will—to some degree, and in various manifestations—“love” you.

But my “love” has a built-in failure. Eventually, the effects of your Imitation Love will wear off, or you may even withdraw or alter your offering, and my emptiness and pain will return. At that point I can’t help but associate my pain with your behavior, and then I will blame you for my discomfort. To some degree, and in various manifestations, I will now “hate” you.

In the world of Imitation Love, love and hate can cycle quickly and demonstrate wide fluctuations. It’s a chaotic and painful existence, all eliminated by simply stepping onto the Field of Life. To answer Hawthorne, “With Real Love, there is no hatred at all.”

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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