I Choose to Be Happy—But Not Quite Yet

By Greg Baer M.D.

August 14, 2008

Mike called, and he was pretty angry about . . . whatever—does it really matter? I helped him see that his anger was a reaction to fear. I loved him and sat on the phone with him for several minutes.

“I’m still angry,” he said.

“Okay,” I responded.

“Okay? What do you mean, ‘okay?’ If I was really trusting you and feeling what you’re giving me, shouldn't I lose my anger?”

“Oh, I suppose—if you were perfectly trusting. But who is? It might take a few minutes for the truth and the love to sink in. Might take a few hours. You might have to stay angry or pout or whatever until you’re tired of it. There’s no hurry.”

He chuckled and put down most of his remaining irritation.

In physics we learn the principle of inertia, which is "the tendency of an object to remain at rest if at rest, or, if moving, to keep moving in the same direction, unless affected by some outside force." In other words, if a thing is moving in a certain direction, it keeps moving in that direction unless something else changes it.

In childhood, we were given a motion and direction, and we have a strong tendency to stay moving in the same direction for the rest of our lives. As adults, we can learn new principles and find Real Love, thereby changing the direction of our lives, but even then, in individual moments we experience the inertia of old patterns of beliefs and feelings.

Mike was on a roll of anger, like a two-ton car moving sixty miles an hour. I showed him how to use the brakes, but the car still couldn’t come to an instantaneous stop.

Sometimes we just need to relax and allow the truth and love to sink in and work their miracles, without being in a rush. We don’t have to “get it right” right now. Sometimes, although we can choose to be happy, it may not happen just yet.

Learn more about eliminating your anger!


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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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