In Real Love groups, conference calls, and other Real Love interactions, certain phrases have crept into use that are not consistent with the principles of Real Love, or that might cause confusion by their use. Recently I began a discussion of such phrases (see the links below) and now weāll continue. In this blog we will discuss one such phrase, "You know I love you." In subsequent blogs weāll talk about some others.
Phrases that Mislead, Part 6
Phrases that Mislead, Part 5
Phrases that Mislead, Part 4
Phrases that Mislead, Part 3
Phrases that Mislead, Part 2
Phrases that Mislead, Part 1
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU
When someone is clearly afraidāand therefore not trustingāsometimes a wise person might say:
āYou know that I love you.ā
āYou know we all love you.ā
āEverybody in this roomāor on this callāloves you.ā
These phrases sound potentially reassuring, but there are also problems:
- What if the first sentence is not trueāor is perceived as not true? The fear of the ānon-wiseā person is clear evidence that he or she does NOT believe theyāre being loved, so āYou know that I love youā could easily be received as a lie. That would likely make the fearful person even more distrustful of the wise person and of the world as a whole.
- In any given group of people, itās not likely that the second and third sentences will be true. Claiming to know that a roomful or call full of people are lovingāunless you have closely polled all of themāis presumptuous stuff.
If people arenāt trusting already, liesāeven the possibility of themāare quite dangerous.
So, how can this phraseāor one like itābe used in a positive way? If a wise man is certain that the other person HAS felt loved by him before, then saying āYou know that I love youā could be a useful reminder, a potentially powerful way to help the other person remember past feelings of love and peace. This may be enough to stop the slide downward into a pit of darkness and despair.