Master Index - F

1-A    B    C   D    E    F    G    H    I    J-K    L    M    N   O    P-Q    R    S   T    U    V    WXYZ

How to Use the Index

This Master Index covers thousands of topics found in every Real Love book, the 500 Daily Coaching Videos and all the blogs.

Note that all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book but not to location numbers in Kindle books.

In this index you can find Real Love answers to all your questions—it's like having your own personal coach 24/7.


How can you use it? Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Example One:
You want to tell the truth about yourself to your spouse. You want to change the direction of your marriage and create genuine, intimate, and lasting connections between you. How do you start? What can you say? Let’s look at the index:

Click on the T above and then go to Truth Telling, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings, like “about ourselves,” “about your spouse,” “about our mistakes,” and more.

Or click on M and go to Marriage, truth telling in

Example Two:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P and go to Parenting, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest, like “teaching children about choice,” and more.


The following abbreviations are used throughout the Master Index:

DC = Daily Coaching Videos, 1 - 505
B = Blog, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
RL = The book, Real Love
RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
RLP = Real Love in Parenting
RLD = Real Love in Dating
RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
RLW= Real Love in the Workplace
EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books


Fabric softener, B22Feb17
Face, demonstrates pain of the past, B22Jan16, B01Jun16
Factor, love into equation, B13Sep17
effects of, DC115
information, DC155, DC162
part of creativity, RLW215-16
reasons for employees to experience in their jobs, RLW 202, RLW 224-5, RLW 238-9
response to, B31Dec12
temporary weakness, B06Feb17
why we think employees experience in their jobs, RLW 202
Fairness (Fair):
children’s concept of usually selfish, RLP305, RLP381-3
and justice, DC38, B16Mar11
consequences of not teaching, B14Jan15
defined as what we want, RLWM 71
definition, B14Jan15
demand for brings unhappiness, DC38, B16Mar11
doesn’t make us happy, DC37, B16Mar11
freedom to choose is, RLWM 71
hypocrisy of demanding, B16Mar11, B23Dec11
idea of usually selfish, B23Dec11
insistence on is selfish, DC37, B16Mar11
not important, DC67
not unfair when we’re inconvenienced, RLWM 71
our obsession with inappropriate, RLV 67-8
teaching, B14Jan15
victim’s demands for, RLV 254
victim’s idea of, RLV 59-61
vs. loving, RLP368-9
Fairness Enforcing Device, RLV 67-8
Fairy tales, lies of, B17Oct12
action, B01Mar12, RLWM 148, RLW 158-9, RLW 298
all have in something, RLWM 153
and love related, BWB266
can’t feel love without, RLWM 153-5, RLWM 269
choice, B01Mar12, RL74, RL78, RL116, RLWM 148, RLWM 150, RLWM 162-3, RLWM 165
complete far more effective than half, B28Jul12
decision, RLM 181, RLM 183, BWB271
definition, RL68, RL77, RLM 72-3, RLM 181, RLP275, RLP279, RLP282-3, RLD54, RLWM 148-9, RLWM 152, RLWM 165, RLV 216, RLW157, RLW 298, EWB225, BWB258-9, DC119, B08Feb12, B01Mar12, B02Feb18
demonstrated by our behavior, EWB 229, BWB261-3, BWB264-5
desire first step toward, RLWM 157-8
difference between getting and feeling love, RLWM 15-16
different kinds, RLW157
discomfort part of, BWB260
easier with twenty million, RLM 184
effect of not having, RL73-8
evidence helping create, RLWM 152, RLWM 158-62, RLWM 283-4
examples, RLM 183, RLWM 147-53, B01Mar12, B02Feb18
excuses for not, B31Jul15
exercise in, RL79, EWB235, BWB271-2
exercising leads to results that build more faith, RLW297
explanation, B02Feb18
feeling and fun, B16May16
finding, RLWM 156-65
half usually worthless, B28Jul12
helplessness in, B02Feb18
in children, RLP117, RLP255, RLP280-2, BWB438
in children, a choice, RLP282-4
in children, demonstrated by gratitude, RLP255
in children, proof that we don’t have, RLP282
in children, rewarding, RLP177
in eventual goals keeps us calm in crisis, B26May08
in false principles, RLP277-8
in foolish things, BWB261-2, BWB266
in Getting and Protecting Behaviors, EWB231-3, BWB261-2, BWB265-6
in God, EWB 235, BWB269-72
in ignorance, B12Jun12
in Imitation Love, RLD 25
in love of wise man, B18Jan12
in loving, RLP117, RLP275-9
in loving easier when we remember that Getting and Protecting Behaviors never work, RLP 277
in our partners (trust earned), RL73-8, EWB233-5, BWB266-8
in partners, that they’re drowning when using Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLM 181
in people (doing their best), RL71-3, EWB233-5, BWB266-8
in people’s ability to learn keeps us from getting upset with their mistakes, B26May08
in people a choice, RLW298
in people as they make mistakes, RLW298
in people easier when we remember they’re drowning, RLW259, RLW296
in people leads to sense of ownership, RLW298
in people we lead, RLW225-6, RLW258-9, RLW297-9
in people, disappointment and anger betray lack, RLW298
in power of loving and teaching, RLW 258-9, RLW296-7
in power of loving and teaching, nothing to lose by exercising, RLW299
in power of loving and teaching easier when remember following, RLW296-7
in Real Love, BWB263-4, BWB266
in something all the time, RLW258
in truth, BWB263-4
in truth (that someone will eventually accept us if we keep telling it), DC14, RL69-71, RL95
in truth telling, RLP117-8, RLP275-9
in what, choosing, is important, B26May08
lack of causes the behaviors we dislike, BWB267
lack of contributes to unhappiness in child, RLP279
lack of understandable, RLP117, RLP279
leap of, B18Jan12, B01Mar12
letting go, B08Feb12
loving contributes to, RLWM 165-6
make a decision to exercise, RLWM 162-3
metaphor of planting seeds, RLD55
miracles possible with, BWB261
motivating, B02Feb18
necessary to change, RLP117, RLP275, RLP284
necessary to feel Real Love, see Faith, can’t feel love without necessary to growth, RLWM 147-53
necessary to growth, RL68, RL78
not blind, B02Feb18
not term restricted to religion, RLWM 163
of wise man, RLWM 167
opposite of is fear, RLWM 166
price for happiness, B01Jul15
price for Real Love, B01Jul15
power of, RLM 180-84
required for growth, B08Feb12, B01Mar12, BWB258, BWB260
required for growth and change, RLW157- 60
required in growth, B02Feb18
required to be happy, B08Feb12
required to feel Real Love, B18Jan12, B28Jul12
required for truth telling, RLM 72-3, RLV 216-17, RLW157-60, BWB258
required to find Real Love, DC133, B28Aug07, B31Jan11, B07Feb11, B05Aug11, B26Dec11, B08Feb12, B28Jul12
required to stop controlling people, RLW295-8
rewards of, RLWM 167
rewards of after exercising, RLWM 165
risk less than not having faith, B20Aug14
risk small, RL79-80, RLM 72-3, RLP117-18, RLP284
teaching about, RLWM 163-5
time to see result of, RLP177, RLP199
to be ourselves, DC13
that change is possible, RL69
uncomfortable in the beginning, BWB261
we always have in something, RLP277-8
why difficult in beginning, RLP117
wise man helping create, RLWM 158, RLWM 165-6
wise men help us find, RL80
without, like hole in bottom of bucket, RLWM 156-7
Falling in love:
addiction of, RLV 17-19
adding to Real Love, B01Apr15, B22Apr15
based on Imitation Love, DC177-178, DC299-300, B31Oct06, EWB93, BWB101-2
blinding, EWB95, BWB103
choice, B01Apr15, B22Apr15
dangerous, B18Apr12
definition of, RLD17-18
doesn’t last, EWB73-5, BWB81
easy, B18Apr12
effects of, EWB95, BWB103
exchange of Imitation Love, RL33-7, RL149, RL188-9
expectations of, RL33
falling out of love, why, RLM 13-16
form of Imitation Love, PCSD 135-9
founded on Imitation Love and Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RL35-7
God’s description of, BWB103-4
illusion, B18Apr12, EWB13-5, illusion of, BWB 435-6
not love, but need, DC33, DC65
pattern of, RL33-5, RLD17-21, EWB95, BWB81
physiology of, BWB103
Real Love in, B09Jan15
response to PCSD, PCSD 135-9
reasons for, DC100-101-102-103, B31Oct06
sensible, B31Jul15
social requirement that we do, EWB355-9, BWB385-8
trading of Imitation Love in, RLM 12-16, RLD16-21, RLD24-5, PCSD 139, EWB93, BWB101-2
with bosses, friends, co-workers, EWB93, BWB101-2
Falling out of love:
disappointment and anger of, PCSD 141-2
Imitation Love fatigue in, PCSD 140
in many kinds of relationships, PCSD 142-3
loss of enthusiasm in, PCSD 141
perceived inequality in trading of, PCSD 140-41
why we do, PCSD 139-43
Familiar, trap of, B26Dec14
blended, DC81-82-83, DC85
difficult to love sometimes, B07Nov11
expectations higher with, DC153-154-155
place to learn about Real Love, RL212-13
purpose to provide place to feel loved and practice loving, RLP367
separating from sometimes, B07Nov11
unloving, DC257-258-259
brother who is drug addict, DC57-58
expectations, DC74
feeling unappreciated, DC47
Family meetings:
content, RLP352-7
examples, RLP 354-6, RLP356-7
feelings and teaching part, RLP356-7
frequency, RLP188
planning and assignments in, RLP353-4, RLP373
purposes, RLP187-8, RLP352
rewards of, RLP357
Fanning, effect on cooling, B05July17
Farmer planting seeds metaphor, EWB225, BWB259
Farms, collective, RLW298
Fast, happiness, B02May16
Faster, not always better, B09Oct17
attitude toward learned, B06Jan12
Fault finding:
makes us unhappy, B23Jan13
about future, B30May11
about loss of Real Love, B11Aug14
accustomed to, B21May14
addressing, B05Sep12
addressing early, B03Jul12, B24Sep14
adds up, B16Sep11
affects everything, B31Aug11, B20Jan12, B19Mar12, B23Jul14
afraid to admit, B31Jan09
all worse without Real love, B16Sep11
and shame, B06Jul15
associated with love, B06Mar17
based on lies, B16Jan14a
become accustomed to, B21May14
bible references, BWB118, BWB120
blind in, BWB169, BWB207
blinding, RLWM 154-5, DC84, B04Dec06, B27May08, B05Nov08, B08Jun11, B31Aug11, B18Oct11, B20Jan12, B19Mar12, B19Dec13, B30Oct15, B15Jul16
can only see people of what they’ll do to or for us when, RL47, RL72-3
causes all problems, B08Jun11, B31Aug11, B24Sep12, B30Nov12
causes cancer, B24Sep12
causes emotional coma, B18Jan16
causes pain, B05Sep12
changing, B31Jul17
choice, B22Jul15, B15Jan18
creates fore fear, B14Feb18
crippling, B10Jun11, B26Oct11, B18Oct11, B23Aug17
cumulative, B16Sep11
dangers of, B08Jan18
defining exactly, B18Nov15
demands of, DC120-121-122-123, B23Feb07
denying, RLWM 179-81, RLWM 182
depends on our perspective, B26May08, B27May08
distorts everything, B27May08, B08Jun11, B31Aug11, B18Oct11, B19Mar12, B26Feb14
distorts our reason, B26Feb14
don’t live in, DC400
effect of greater than that of love in short term, RL32-3, EWB107, BWB118
effects of, RLV 50-3, EWB107, BWB118, B23Feb07, B08Jun11, B10Jun11, B18Jan17
eliminating, effects of, B18Jan17
eliminating completely, B09Feb15
eliminating early, B24Sep14
eliminating with help, B10Apr09
eliminating with love, B27May08, B10Apr09, B23Feb11, B26Aug11, B19Mar12, B26Mar12, B24Sep12, B23Jul14
eliminating with understanding, B27May08, B10Apr09, B05Sep12
elimination required before doing anything else, B27May08
evidence of, RLWM 177-81
examination of, B04Feb13
examples of, B31Jan09, RLD83-4, EWB107, EWB355-7, BWB 119, BWB385-7
expression of, B23Jul14
fingerprints, B27May15
foolishness of, B09Jan17
freedom of from Real Love, B22Jun12
from past, B31Jul17
frozen by, B26Mar14
greatest of not being loved, RLWM 182-4
greatest source of pain, B05Sep12
greatest that we won’t be loved, DC41, BWB385
greatest that we won’t be loved, RL102
greatest, of nothing, B27May16
grows, B16Sep11, B19Mar12
harder to admit for men, RLWM 181
hiding, RL91-2
hiding, how we learned to, RLWM 173
impossible to talk to people when they are, B21Nov12
insanity of, DC122-123, DC400, B05Sep12
irrational, B05Sep12
lack of leads to creativity, RLW215
leads to Protecting Behaviors, RLV 53
learned, B07Nov16, B31Jul17
like mud, B10Jun11
like virus, B27May08, B31Aug11
living in, B26Aug11
loop, B31Jul17
love solution to, DC123, DC139-140, B27May08, B23Feb11, B26Aug11, B23Jul14
makes loving impossible, B08Jun11
makes Real Love impossible to feel, RLWM 154, RLWM 267
makes us blind and insane, RLV 53
makes us irrational,  B21Nov12, B30Nov12, B04Feb13
making decisions without, B04Feb13
meaning of all, B23Feb07
minimizing, RLWM 182
more memorable than other experiences, RLM 110-11
no, B15Jul15, B01Sep17
not helpful, B26Jan18
of being deceived by Real Love, B06Mar17
of betrayal, B06Mar17
of change, B06Mar17
of disapproval, DC21, DC27, B23Feb07, B26Aug11
of losing love, B26Mar12, B11Aug14
of loss of Real Love, B06Mar17
of nothing, B27May16
of our children, RLP67
of requirements of love, B06Mar17
of spiders, B16Sep11
of the truth, B06Mar17
of what, B04Feb13, B11Aug14
origins of, B09Jan17
out of control, B16Sep16
pain of, B05Sep12
paralyzing, B19Mar14, B26Mar14
perpetuation of, B19Mar12
physical effects of, RLV 50-1
poison, B23Jul14
power of, RLWM 178, RLV 50-3
powerful motivation, BWB118
prevents us from taking steps to finding Real Love, B26Aug11
prisoners to, B31Jan09, B26Aug11, B04Feb13, B21May14, B23Aug17
reacting to lifetime of, B26Feb14
reactions to, RLW 61-2
reactions to cause more problems, B05Nov08, B26Oct11
Real Love solution to, B22Jun12
replacing, B01Feb16
responding to, DC401-402, B05Nov08, B22Jun12, B23Jul14
responding to in children, RLP256-7
responding to in group meetings, RLWM 166-7
rules relationships, B31Jan09, B04Feb13
rules world, B02Jan08
selfish, B22Jul15
signs of, B06Jan16
simple, B09Jan17
solution to, B05Sep12
spread, B04Sep15
spreads like virus, B27May08
starving, B01Feb16
stop early, B24Sep14, B16Sep16
stopping, B24Sep14
stupid, B26Jan18
subject, unspoken, of many conversations, B19Mar14
telling the truth about, RLWM 177-84
thinking comes from, B09Jan17
traps us, DC424-425, B23Feb07, B05Nov08, B31Jan09, B08Jun11, B10Jun11, B19Mar12, B04Feb13
truth eliminates, B24Sep14, B15Sep17
two greatest about love, EWB169-73, EWB355-9
useless, B13Jul15
virus of, B18Jan17
words associated with, B19Oct16
words worsen, B19Oct16
worse than actual dangers, B05Sep12, B26Oct11
zero tolerance of, B23Jul14
gift, B24Dec14
immediate, B24Dec14
unnecessary, B16Feb15
unwanted, B16Feb15
Feel loved:
how, EWB348-51, BWB379-81
third step in eliminating anger, EWB348-51, BWB379-81
benefits of, B16May16
faith and fun, B16May16
affected by words, B19Oct16
based on lies, B20Aug12
changed by how we see things, RLP128
choice, B24Dec07, B08Oct12, B22Dec12, B08Jul16, B07Mar18
difficult to change by willpower alone, BWB194-6
direct words for, RLWM 177-8
helping others to express, B28Jan15
hiding, consequences of, RLWM 173
hiding, how we, RLWM 173-6
hiding, how we learned to, RLWM 171-2
list, PCSD 237-9
minimizing, RLWM 174-6
not caused by other people, RL15-17, RL234, RLM 2-8
observe for, B26Sep14
of others not your responsibility, B13Mar15
others not responsible for ours, B01Sep14
potential problems with discussion, PCSD 239-40
radiating, B15Jan16
responsibility for,  B13Mar15
sensitivity to by children, B15Jan16
telling the truth about, RLWM 176-95
we’re not responsible for those of others, B18Nov07, B30Jan14, B17Sep14
words used to hide thinking, B13Aug14
Fence, sitting on, B14Apr17
Fences, electrified, B28Dec16
Fertilizer, B17Apr17
Field of Death:
bad business, RLW55-9
Bible reference to, BWB222
conflict only gets worse on, BWB244
dangers of, DC249
defined, RLV 43-6, RLW55
described, DC72
everyone dies on, BWB221, BWB435
examples, DC242, DC249, DC396-397-398-399, DC403-404, RLV 44-9
get off by telling the truth, EWB209, BWB222, BWB243-4, BWB244-6
get off with Real Love, BWB222
Getting and Protecting Behaviors and, RLW87, EWB209, BWB221
Imitation Love and, RLW55-9
Imitation Love on, EWB419, BWB221, BWB435
no winners on, EWB207-9, EWB211, BWB221
productivity and profitability impaired on, RLW58-9
stay off, DC161, DC396-397-398-399, DC403-404, RLV 236-8, RLV 275-6, RLV 284-5, RLV 288, RLW270-71
taking people off , RLW272-4
Field of Life:
defined, RLV 43-6
examples, DC243-244, RLW 60
happiness on, EWB419, BWB435
no conflict on, EWB209, BWB222, BWB243-4
people have innate desire to be on, BWB246-7
ruled by Real Love, EWB207-9, BWB222
Fight, to preserve old ways, B11Oct17
Fighting, see Conflict
Fighting, truth, painful, B31Aug16
Figures, insignificant, B07Aug15
Finding spouse, evidence of Real Love, RLM 102-3
Find-trust-remember-share, B05Nov14
going beyond, B28Jan15
meaning, PCSD 193-4
Fingerprints, emotional, B27May15
building, B05Aug15
emotional, B12Sep16
forest, B12Sep16
forest behind us, B31Jul15
grass, B12Sep16
ingredients, B12Sep16
metaphor for growth of Real Love, B28Nov06
metaphor for our need for each other, B28Nov06
plane on, B20Aug14
put out before learning cause, B25Sep15
throwing gas on, DC282
Firebreak, B12Sep16
Firemen, DC401-402
Firing employees:
cost of, RLW 202-3
cost of not, RLW 308
criteria for, RLW 308-9
how to do, DC86
leaders fear, RLW 307-8
mistake on part of leader, RLW 309
preventing, DC214
quickly, RLW 309
release to be more productive elsewhere, RLW 309
First Break All the Rules, RLW 142
First do no harm, B18Sep17
First time:
experience, effect, B11Dec18
re-creating, B11Dec18
trap of, B11Dec18
blind, B06Sep17
cave, B06Sep17
water essential to, like Real Love to us, B08Jun11
Fitting in, B29Aug14
Five steps to eliminating anger, RLP91-2, RLW 110-12
Five W’s, see W’s, the Five
Fix rather than build, DC2
denial the problem, B11May15
easier to remove while small, B27Jun16
identified best in difficult times, B03Feb11
identify early before they break us, B20Jun11
not who we really are, B05Aug16
of others mean nothing if they love us, B11Jul12
in dating, RLD178-9
infidelity of, DC4, RL197-9
meaning, B20Nov15
response to, DC4, B20Nov15
Florence Foster Jenkins, B11May15
love, B03Oct16
universal, B02Apr18
buying, B22Jul16
don’t pick, metaphor of, B13Dec06
dying, RLWM 109-10
Foam, B21Mar11
Follow up, RLW 243-4, RLW 302
examples, RLP285-6
necessary on occasion, RLP285-7
Ford Motor Company, RLW 203
Fool’s gold metaphor, DC60, RLD95-6
Forgetting, truth, B27Sep17
Forgetting love, plan for, B01May18
Forgive, once, B31Mar17
achieved by changing judgment, B30Mar18
Aramaic meaning of word, BWB175-6
arrogant, B13Jan16
commandment to, BWB171, BWB174-5, BWB179
effect of, EWB343, BWB 372-3
element of loving, DC40
evidence of Real Love, RLM 103
examples, B06Oct06, B14Mar11, PCSD 297-8, PCSD 314-16
exercise in, EWB435-7, BWB445-6
hard, B17Jan18
how to accomplish, DC92-93-94, B14Mar11, EWB343, EWB435-7, BWB372-3, BWB445-6
in infidelity, B14Mar11
intentional injury must be perceived before we talk about, DC92
less than loving, B30Mar18
loving better, B05Nov14, B13Jan16
not enough, B13Jan16
partial achieved with change in perception, DC92-93
power of, B06Oct06, B14Mar11
qualities of genuine, B13Jan16
real, B17Jan18
understanding leads to, B14Mar11
unnecessary, B30Mar18
build for eternal life, BWB169
of lives is Real Love, see Real Love, foundation
of marriage, see Marriage, foundation
of relationships, see Relationships, foundation
of truth required in relationships, BWB317
we all build our own, BWB 220
Foundation of house, like Real Love, RL14, RLP 21, RLD1-2, RLD7, RLD12, RLD109-10
Foundation of house compared to truth as foundation of our lives, RLW 140-41, EWB275
Four steps, B05Nov14
Fram oil filter, DC95
Frankl, Victor, RLWM 85
Frederick, Holy Roman Emperor, RLW 173
Free will, limited, B17Nov14
Free-range chickens, B27Apr15
choice, B06May16
examples, B08Sep14
from effects of childhood, B04Apr14
from pain, shame, B06May16
from Real Love, B22Jun12
of love not anger, B12Jan18
produces happiness, B08Sep14
results from understanding Imitation Love, RLD25-6
to give up pain and shame, B06May16
Freshman, always, B15Apr15
Friends and friendship:
based on honesty, DC63
changing, B07Jul17
conditional worthless, RLP317-9
courage involved in, B09Apr12
different levels of, B26Oct12
effort of, B09Apr12
importance of choosing well, B13Mar17
joking rudely, how to handle, DC64
losing, B07Jul17
and marionettes, B10May17
noise of, B21May14
singing, B12Jun15
Frown, meaning of, RLP108
Frowny face button, B06Feb12
end result of life, B16May16
faith and feeling, B16May16
goal of life, B15Oct14
nature of, B15Oct14
not lost with Real Love, B15Oct14
the goal, not winning, B23Jan08
vs. Imitation Love, B15Oct14
Fussing, not a step, B05May17
illusion of, B04Jan13
plan for while enjoying present, B20May16