There is no condition amongst the people of the world more commonāor more damagingāthan an insufficient supply of unconditional love. This results in a pandemic of emotional pain so widespread that it has come to be regarded as normal.
People are in real pain, and then they defend themselves with a variety of behaviors. They become obsessed with thoughts of their pain and with thoughts about how to minimize it. In short, people become obsessed with negative thoughts, which only perpetuate their pain.
Every day somebody asks me, āHow can I stop these negative thoughts? My head just spins, and I canāt stop it.ā This obsessive thinking contributes to anxiety, poor decisions, health problems, and more.
Rarely can we just stop our racing thoughts. But we can replace them. Negative thoughts all come from fears about the future, which doesnāt even exist yet. To be sure, negative thoughts and fears are realāasking anybody whoās afraidābut they come from future fantasies that are not founded on the truth. The solution, then, is the truth. The truth.
Sarah called me and spoke one negative, pessimistic, accusatory, defensive, and angry thought after another, words pouring out like machine gun fire. After listening for a couple of minutes, I said, āYou sound stuck.ā
āWhat else would I be?ā she snapped. āHow am I supposed to stop this thinking?ā
āThe initial thoughts probably just happen as a reflex to a lifetime of emotional pain, but then you can choose to replace them with positive thoughts, TRUE thoughts. The truth.ā
āLike what?ā
āYou have a lifetime of practice with the words of pain and fearālies you were taught thoroughly and learned well. Now try the truth. Like what? You have real peopleāright now, in the present, including meāwho love you. You have people who can tell you whatās true. You have mountains of emotional support. With all that, you have hope for changing everythingāall the lies, the pain, the fear, and the thoughts.ā
āBut I tried all that.ā
āMaybe a little, but not much.ā
āHow would you know? Youāre not in my head.ā
āI know you. Youāre very practicedāexperiencedāat the negative thinking. Youāre not very experienced, however, with the truthānot yet.ā
āBut I did try the truth. It didnāt work.ā
āImagine that I tell you to pull the weeds in my backyard, and Iāll check your work when I come back at the end of the day. There are thousands of weeds out there, and when I come back the yard is still full of weedsāeverywhere. I ask you if you weeded, and you say, āYes, I did.ā Okay, letās assume that you did pull some weeds, but thereās no visible difference in the yard, so itās obvious that you didnāt pull weeds ENOUGH.ā
āOkay.ā
āNegative thoughts are like weeds. They have to be replaced, like pulling weeds, until thereās a real difference. In all the times Iāve heard you obsess about negative stuffāand itās been many timesāIāve never heard you give any attention at all to the truth. Itās not a criticism, dear, just an observation that could really help you. Do I believe that youāve entertained the truth here and there? Sure, but thatās like pulling a weed here and there. When you focus on the truth enoughāa lotāyouāll feel a difference.ā
A lifetime of pain and fear accumulate an enormous momentum. If we want to overcome that forceāas we must, if we wish to be happyāwe have to be consistent in the application of the truth. The truthāwith the power of loveāfrees us from the chains of pain, fear, and negative thoughts, and then we can find the peace, happiness, and real power we want and deserve.