Master Index - M

1-A    B    C   D    E    F    G    H    I    J-K    L    M    N   O    P-Q    R    S   T    U    V    WXYZ

How to Use the Index

This Master Index covers thousands of topics found in every Real Love book, the 500 Daily Coaching Videos and all the blogs.

Note that all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book but not to location numbers in Kindle books.

In this index you can find Real Love answers to all your questions—it's like having your own personal coach 24/7.


How can you use it? Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Example One:
You want to tell the truth about yourself to your spouse. You want to change the direction of your marriage and create genuine, intimate, and lasting connections between you. How do you start? What can you say? Let’s look at the index:

Click on the T above and then go to Truth Telling, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings, like “about ourselves,” “about your spouse,” “about our mistakes,” and more.

Or click on M and go to Marriage, truth telling in

Example Two:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P and go to Parenting, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest, like “teaching children about choice,” and more.


The following abbreviations are used throughout the Master Index:

DC = Daily Coaching Videos, 1 - 505
B = Blog, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
RL = The book, Real Love
RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
RLP = Real Love in Parenting
RLD = Real Love in Dating
RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
RLW= Real Love in the Workplace
EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books


Machete Season, RLV174
dangers of, DC177-178, B09Sep11, B17Oct12
taught to children, B17Oct12
vs. miracles, DC178, B09Sep11, B09Nov16
easier than repair, B01Feb16
importance of, B02Mar16
of Real Love, B08Dec14
with Real Love, B07Sep15
Malaria, compared to victimhood, RLV3
Mama’s boy, DC21
Managers vs. leaders, RLW33
examples, DC12, DC26
Imitation Love the result, DC12, DC26
makes Real Love impossible, DC12
see Getting and Protecting Behaviors
Manipulation, turns life into a game, B13Apr18
growing flowers from, B28Feb11
shoveling, B17Jun16
Maple syrup, production, B09Sep16
Marching, cadence required, B07Feb18
Marijuana, effects of, B12Aug12
Marionettes and frogs, B10May17
Real Love and, B04Dec12
see Relationships, exclusive
arguing, DC52, B29Apr08
anger in, examples, EWB381-9, BWB402-4
angry spouse, DC45
asking questions about condition of, B10Nov14
blaming eliminated by understanding Real Love, EWB97-9, BWB107-9
blaming in, EWB97-9, BWB106-7
can’t change partner, DC4, B18Jul11, B05Mar14
children in, DC81-82-83
choosing partner, see Dating
chores in, DC20, B05Mar14
commandment for men to love wives, BWB26, BWB105
commitment of, DC264, RL195-6, RL264-5, RLM 173-78, RLM 294-96
commitment to be faithful, DC4
commitment to, see Commitment
conflict in, B29Apr08, B03Sep09
conflict in, resolving, EWB381-9, BWB402-9
criteria for, RLD 181-2
criteria for partner different from criteria for unconditional loving, RLD 23-4
decide what want, DC129-130-131-132-133
definition, RL191, RLM 49, RLM 173-74
discussions before, RLD 185-6
different roles in, B05Mar14
division of labor, B05Mar14
divorce incidence in, EWB13, BWB26
don’t give up before Real Love, RLM 173-80, RLM 294-95
drug use in, DC418
easier with twenty million, RLM 184
example of honest loving conversation, DC4
expectations in, DC31, RLD 95-7, RLWM 56, EWB 415, BWB431
expectations high in, RLM 46-9, RLM 66-8, RLM 77, RLM 171-73, RLM 184
failing, DC65, DC66, DC67, DC68
failing, feelings in, EWB97-9, BWB106-7
failure of, EWB13, BWB26-7
failure rate of, RLD 2-3, RLD 22
faith in, RLM 18-84
finances in, DC396-397-398-399-400
first priority, DC325
foundation Christ, BWB108-9
foundation of, DC81-82-83
foundation Real Love, BWB 108
getting Real Love outside sometimes and bringing back to, RL125-6, RL128-9, RL234
happiness the primary goal, DC129-130-131-132-133
healing individual in, B25Apr14
how Real Love leads to, RLD 121-3
improvement begins with you, DC13
individual healing in, B25Apr14
infidelity, DC65
inter-racial, DC196-197
Law of Choice in, RL190-1
lifetime commitment, RL195-6
loyalty in, RLM 74-6, RLM 160-65
loyalty to parents over spouse, DC315-316
nagging in, DC20
one, RLM 185-87
one partner becomes loving in, B15Nov12
oneness in, B10Apr09
opportunity to learn, DC13, RL190-2, RL265
partnership in, B03Sep09, B05Mar14
persistence in, RLM 174-78, RLM 321-23
physical abuse in, DC298-299-300-301-302
preparation for, RLD 182-6
Primary Decision in, RLM 160-65
priorities in, DC401-402
priorities with children, DC401-402
promises of, RL189
purpose, RL55-6, RLM 173-74, RLM 186-87, RLD 197
purpose usually to preserve feeling of falling in love, RL188-9
Real Love important in choosing partner, RL261-4
repeats what we saw in our parents, B28Mar11
reporting in, DC308-309-310
rape in, DC200
Real Love book, role in, RLD 186
Real Love foundation of, RLD 182
Real Love most important element in, DC52
requirements for partner in, DC357
roles not equal, B05Mar14
rules of, B16Dec15
sex in, DC331-332
sex in, see Sex, in marriage
sexual fidelity in, DC339-340, RL197-9
sharing in, DC308-309-310, B10Apr09, RL193-5
spouse ignoring, DC13
spouse’s emptiness not about you, DC4
standard for, RLD 181-2
staying in no matter what, RLM 294-96
stepchildren in, DC81-82-83
study showing initial effect fading, RLM 16
success in a decision, RL193-4
synergy, B03Sep09
test to determine preparation, RLD 184-5
together, not apart anymore, B10Apr09
truth telling in, DC79, DC187, DC301, DC392-393-394
tend to choose spouse like parent, DC111-112-113-114
unconditional love in, B09Apr14
unity in, B10Apr09
unspoken rules, DC45
veto in, B03Sep09
victimhood in, RLV152-4
vows, what we hear, RL189, RLM 172, RLD 196, EWB 95, BWB104, BWB 316
we make promises we can’t fulfill, BWB316
when, RLD 182-6
why bother, RLD 197-8
why disappointment and anger greater in, RLD 195-7, EWB 415, BWB431
why most of get involved in, BWB104, BWB431
why we get married, RL55-6, EWB95, EWB415
why we get married with Real Love, RLD 121-2
why we get married without enough Real Love, RLD 122-3
without Real Love foolish, RLD 181-2
Marriott, RLW175, RLW203, RLW309
Masturbation, RLP396
do the, DC129-130-131-132-133
of love, B06Aug14
Maul, RL38-40, RLWM82
Maul and ax, BWB186-7
Mayo, Elton, RLW20
McClellan, B21Apr14
McCormick, RLW3
“Me-me-me” the message of disappointment and anger, RLV13 RLD6, RLD37, PCSD 7-8, RLW16
Mean, being sometimes needed, B09Nov11
Mean to, I didn’t, insufficient, B15Apr11, B21May14
created by accountability, RLW303
created by establishing values, RLW206-8
created by loving behavior, RLW208
created by sense of ownership, RLW298
great motivation for performance, RLW41-3, RLW105, RLW206-8, RLW286-7
injured by various factors, RLW208
leaders supply for those they lead, RLW206-8, RLW286-7
need for, RLW206-8
sense of leads to profitability, RLW286-7
Measurements, happiness, B02Mar15
Meant to say, gratitude, not criticism, B03Jul18
addiction, B17Aug11
control of in children, B17Aug11
negative effects of, B13Apr16
for depression, B17Jul17
for mental health, B17Jul17
exercise, B07Nov06, EWB51-5, BWB59
feeling loved, RLW13-14
Meetings, see Family Meetings
Megan, B19Jun07, B06Feb12
Megan Meier, B04Dec07
affected by how much an event affects us, B13Jun11
affected by perspectives, PCSD 78-87, PCSD 92-5
effect on present, PCSD 30, PCSD 183-4
false or repressed,RLV112-15
muscle, B30Apr12
nature of, PCSD 25-30
of childhood distorted, PCSD 92-5
recurrent in PTSD, PCSD 49-54
recurrent in PCSD, PCSD 181-4
repressed, B06Nov17
role in PTSD, PCSD 25-30
role in PCSD, PCSD 92-5
unreliable, PCSD 95
communication less between, B25Feb07
fears of, B25Feb07
nature of, DC173-174-175
need RL just like women, DC12
power and, DC247-248-249
Men-women, differences:
compared, RLD 51-3
compared as to interest in Real Love, RLD 51-2
compared as to use of Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLD 52
compared as to use of Imitation Love, RLD 52
emotional responses, DC12
explained, DC175, DC370
expressing emotions, DC12
Imitation Love trading, DC495
in how they love, DC370-371-372-373-374
in Imitation Love, DC373-374, DC495
in Real Love, DC370-371-372-373-374
share need for Real Love, RLD 51-3
Men’s room protocol, DC173-174-175, B25Feb07
Mental illness:
telling truth about, DC489, RLM 165-66
Meringue, B18Jan13
Merry-go-round, B29Jan18
Metrics, new world, B02Mar15
Michael, RLP133-4, RLP270, RLP381-3
Mid-life crisis, EWB103, BWB112-14
Middle, caught in, RLM 150-52
Milgram, Stanley, PCSD 100-101, PCSD 130-31
Milking the bull, EWB 279-81, BWB315-16
Million dollars, see Two Dollars
examples, B01Aug16
follow our efforts, B09Nov16
gratitude for, B01Aug16
prayers for, B09Nov16
vs. magic, DC178, B09Nov16
Mirror, and hose, B11Mar15
Misbehavior, see “Bad” behavior
Miscalibration, B09Jul12
Miscommunication, avoiding, B10Jul18
Missing ingredient, RLD 2-3, RLD 5, RLD 12
admit and correct quickly, B18Mar07, B03Jun11, B20Jun11, B28Jun11
allow for occasional without consequences, RLP343
as wise man, RLWM 17-18, RLWM 45
avoiding, B19Jun18
awareness of is the key, B20Feb12, B23Jun14
children need to be loved while making, RLP146-7
consequences severe sometimes, RL228-9
create environment where people can make, RLW214-16
deadly if we don’t see them, B21Mar11, B20Jun11
denying, cost of, RLW65
denying responsibility for, RLW66
don’t admit what you didn’t make, BWB286
don’t define us, B30Dec11
don’t make us bad, B03Jun08, B28Feb11, B30Dec11, B07Nov12, RL67
don’t make us garbage, B30Dec11
don't make you bad, B13Feb17
easier to correct while small, B27Jun16
easy to see, RLWM 139
eliminating with practice, DC378-379-380, B23Jun14
fear of, B21Apr14
fear of deadly, B14Nov16
foolish to feel guilty and shame about, B21Nov06
freedom of admitting, DC27, B18Mar07, B20Jun11, B28Jun11
goal to avoid without losing benefit of learning, RLW287-8
gratitude better than pointing out, B03Jul18
grow from, B28Feb11, B20Jun11, B28Jun11, B20Jul11, B31Dec12
guilt for, see Guilt
hiding, doomed to repeat, DC27
importance of accepting people while they make, RLW199, RLW212-16
inconvenience us, RLW 97-8
inconvenience other people, RL249
inevitable, B13Feb17
inevitable in process of learning and growing, BWB181, BWB294
information, DC155, B21Nov06,  B20Jun11, B28Jun11, B20Jul11, B14Jul17
judging by Victim Factor, RLV141-2
just make and learn from, B23May14, B23Jun14
just need to see them and learn from them, EWB415, BWB164, BWB178-9, BWB294, BWB427
learn from, DC118, DC155, DC287-288-289-290, B21Nov06, B24Jan07, B20Jun11, B28Jun11, B24May12, B23May14, B19Jul17, RL155
learning involves, RLWM 17-18,RLWM 91-2
less important than fearlessness, B14Nov16
letting go of our own, DC217
letting others' go, B03Jul18
make and learn from, B09Sep16
make lots, RLW 216
mean nothing in presence of Real Love, B11Jul12
misconceptions about, RLW213-14
more common with anger, RLW101-2
must be allowed to make our own, RL248-9
necessary to learning and growth, RLP266, RLW213-15
no need to point out when child already sees, RLP146, RLP171-2
not hating, B19Jul17
not intentional, B23Jun14
not mistakes if we learn from them, RLW214-15
not worthless because of, DC493-494, B03Jun08, B30Dec11
not written in stone, B24May12
of others not our business, RLV211
other people’s are none of our business, BWB426, BWB451
perspective on, B21Nov06
pile up if not admitted, B18Mar07
purpose of, B21Nov06
price of leadership training, RLW210
price of learning, DC287-288-289-290,  B28Feb11, B31Dec12, RLV140-41, RLW210-16
questions to ask when people make, RLW213
reaction to, Real Love vs. conditional, RLV12-14
resolving not to make not enough, B14Apr14
repeat when don’t see, DC152-153
responding to more productively, RLW214-16
responsible for, RLWM 91-3
see them and learn from them, RLP129, RLP145, RLW213-15, RLW226
seeing them and feeling loved leads to decreasing them, RLP177, RLP276, RLW226, RLW258-9
seeing them helps prevent, DC152-153, 155, 163
stopping children from making not always wise, RLP170, RLP262-3, RLP265
telling people about with love, DC155
telling truth about, B12Feb07
telling truth about while small, B03Jun11, B20Jun11, B28Jun11
trusting people while they make, RLW 210-13, RLW226
unavoidable, RLP169, RLP189-90, RLP199, RLP265, RLV140-41, RLW97, RLW213-14, B18Mar15, B19Jun18
unavoidable as we make choices, RLWM 17-18, RLWM 91-2
unavoidable as we learn, DC27, DC160, B21Nov06, B03Jun08, B24May12, B21Apr14
unavoidable as we make choices and learn to love, RL142, RL151-2, RL161, RL162-4, RL248-9
unavoidable if we were taught wrong, B23Jun14
victims want to punish people for, RLV140-42
when we make, we tend to respond with guilt and being right, RLP188-9
why we deny, B03Jun08
why we stop children from making, RLP265
willingness to make is key to growth, B21Apr14
worse with fear and guilt, B06Aug14
Misunderstandings, cause of, B05Mar18
Moderation, not needed, B20Apr16
Modesty, clothing, B02Aug17
Momentum, B19May14
combinations of Imitation Love received from, RLW 52
in bank, RL117-18, RL172-3, RL179
teaching children about, RLP 379-81
used to get praise and power, RL19-20
why pursued, B17Feb17
Moneyball, B17Jul12
Monkey, babies, B23Nov16
Monsters: PCSD 314-15
danger of labeling people as, B09Nov06
disadvantages of labeling people as, RLV314-17
examples of, B09Nov06
Hussein, Saddam, example of, B09Nov06
melting, B09Jan17
we love our, B09Nov06
why we label people as, B09Nov06, RLV314-15
without Real Love, identifying easy, RLV176-7
is less, B06Aug14
not necessarily better, B14Jul14
and ice cream, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
lessens incidence of PTSD, PCSD 110-11
terrible, B10Mar08
yelling at another driver, DC420
Mother’s love, myth of, DC161, DC502
anger poor tool in, RLW 225-6
faith in people great source of, RLW297-8
figuring out, B06Jan16
hope good, B02Sep16
loving slower but best, RLW225-6
meaning an excellent, RLW41-3, RLW105
mixed for any given behavior, RLW196
mixed, DC11, EWB421, BWB437
more important than behavior, B06Jan16
need for questionable, RLW224, RLW296-8
our assumptions about people when we talk about, RLW224
ownership great source of, RLW298
Real Love vs. emptiness and fear, RLW248
without anger, B15Oct12
work itself a good, RLW41-3, RLW105
Motorola, RLW3
carrying, B02Dec15
climbing wrong, B30Nov16
skiing down, B27Apr16
Mountain climbing:
metaphor for life, DC88, B15Jul11, B21Nov14, EWB17, BWB333, B28Sep15
sometimes best in difficult conditions, B15Jul11
with or without extra load, RLD 106-8
with pack on back, metaphor for life with relationship, DC88
Mouse, let love move, B01Jun15
fast or slow, B21Nov11
just, B21Nov11, B09Sep16
required for happiness, B21Nov11
Mr. Fine and Mr. Whine, RLV206-7
MRI, fear of, B05Sep12
Mt. Everest, shivering, B05Nov12
Mud and roots, B06Jun14
Mud prince, B4Dec06
Mule, RLWM 111-12
Multi-tasking, effects of, B13Apr16
Munchausen syndrome, RLV115
Munchausen syndrome by proxy, RLV116
building, B18Jan16
emotional, B18Jan16
growth of compared to growth of Real Love, BWB322-3, BWB331-2
wasting, B18Jan16
Museum, walking, B18Sep17
lies in, B14Jan13
victimhood in, B14Jan13
Mussels, B22Aug12
Mussels, effects, B08Feb17
Mutual loving, see Loving, mutual
My story, RLxi-xiii,
My truth, B12Sep14
My way, B04Aug14