The Pervasive Deception of Music

By Greg Baer M.D.

January 14, 2013

Personal Growth

From the beginning of time our music has been a reflection of who we are--as individuals and as a society. The words and notes come from within us and expresses our fears, hopes, and more. Look at the lyrics of some very popular current songs, and to interpret what they really mean.

Let's look at one example, Taylor Swift's hit song, "I Knew You Were Trouble."

"Once upon time

A few mistakes ago

I was in your sights

You got me alone

You found me."

I'm a victim. I had little to do with what happened to our relationship. Rather, you targeted me ("in your sights") for the "mistakes" that would subsequently happen. You "got me alone" and hurt me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"I guess you didn't care

And I guess I liked that

And when I fell hard

You took a step back

Without me, without me, without me."

I was attracted to your uncaring attitude in the beginning---I chose it---but now it's your fault that I made that choice. You are a horrible human being who dropped me like a rock. There was nothing I could do when you left me alone, alone. It's all your fault, all your fault.

"And he's long gone

When he's next to me

And I realize the blame is on me."

I was a fool for falling for you, but I still blame you.

"Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I'd never been

So you put me down oh."

Looking back, I see that you gave me all the signs that a healthy relationship was impossible, but I fell for it anyway. I liked the attention, because I'm so alone and starving for anybody to notice me. I'll take a little of the blame ("shame on me"), but it's mostly your fault for "putting me down."

"Flew me to places I'd never been

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble."

You tricked me ("flew me to place I'd never been"), and now I'm devastated. How could you do this to me? My life is a shambles now because of you.

"No apologies

He'll never see you cry."

I'll never apologize for my behavior because I'm always right and you're always wrong. I'm afraid to admit my pain openly, because then you'd just confirm that you never cared about me.

"Pretend he doesn't know

That he's the reason why

You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning."

I'm in such pain, and it's not my fault. I'm such a victim, thrown out here in the middle of the ocean to drown.

"And I heard you moved on

From whispers on the street

A new notch in your belt

Is all I'll ever be."

What a selfish pig you are. You used me and left me like a piece of trash. You never cared, and it's all my fault. You deceived me and dumped me. Not my fault.

"And now I see, now I see, now I see

He was long gone

When he met me

And I realize the joke is on me."

It is so unfair that this relationship was doomed from the beginning, and now people are going to laugh at me, when I was simply victimized by you.

"When your saddest fear comes creeping in

That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything."

I didn't stand a chance with you. You're not capable of loving anybody or anything, and I was just one more victim of your manipulations.

Every day I hear versions of these lyrics from people all over the world. We do not understand the true source of our pain, so we blame it on whoever we're with at the time. As long as we do that, we cannot effectively address the real cause of our pain, and we'll continue the pattern of our misery over and over, for an entire lost lifetime.


Recover from your negative habits and beliefs!


{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

Subscribe to our newsletter now!