In support groups and in self-help literature, the expression āmy truthā is very common. āI would like to share my truth,ā people say, or āThis is my truth.ā Ironically, this expression is often used to defend a position that is not true. Recently, for example, I told a woman that she was afraid and angry, and she respondedāangrilyāāThatās not MY truth. You cannot tell me my truth.ā
The potential dangers of this expression are worth mentioning. Truth is not changed by our opinion of it. Truth is what is established to be real. Itās factual. It is true, for example, that 2 + 2 = 4. It is true that the mass of the earth exerts a gravitational pull that causes an object at the surface to fall at 32 feet per second per second. Gravity is simply a law, or a truth. There is no āmy gravityā or āyour gravity.ā My belief about gravity does not change its effect
āThe truthā applies also to our feelings and behaviors. Denying our angerāor our selfishnessādoes not change the truth of it. Rather than talk about āmy truth,ā it would be more accurate to say, āmy perceptionā or āmy understanding.ā The expression āmy truthā allows us to use a powerful word to make our perceptions and even lies into something more acceptable. It allows us to hide our lies.
We are much better served by correctly and rigorously identifying our mistakes and lies than by hiding them in any way, including the use of popular phrases like āmy truth.ā