My Truth

By Greg Baer M.D.

September 12, 2014

In support groups and in self-help literature, the expression ā€œmy truthā€ is very common. ā€œI would like to share my truth,ā€ people say, or ā€œThis is my truth.ā€ Ironically, this expression is often used to defend a position that is not true. Recently, for example, I told a woman that she was afraid and angry, and she respondedā€”angrilyā€”ā€œThatā€™s not MY truth. You cannot tell me my truth.ā€

The potential dangers of this expression are worth mentioning. Truth is not changed by our opinion of it. Truth is what is established to be real. Itā€™s factual. It is true, for example, that 2 + 2 = 4. It is true that the mass of the earth exerts a gravitational pull that causes an object at the surface to fall at 32 feet per second per second. Gravity is simply a law, or a truth. There is no ā€œmy gravityā€ or ā€œyour gravity.ā€ My belief about gravity does not change its effect

ā€œThe truthā€ applies also to our feelings and behaviors. Denying our angerā€”or our selfishnessā€”does not change the truth of it. Rather than talk about ā€œmy truth,ā€ it would be more accurate to say, ā€œmy perceptionā€ or ā€œmy understanding.ā€ The expression ā€œmy truthā€ allows us to use a powerful word to make our perceptions and even lies into something more acceptable. It allows us to hide our lies.

We are much better served by correctly and rigorously identifying our mistakes and lies than by hiding them in any way, including the use of popular phrases like ā€œmy truth.ā€

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real LoveĀ® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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