Michael called and explained that heād experienced an intervention, attended a great many Real Love groups, read most of the Real Love books, and participated in many conference calls. āBut Iām still not happy,ā he said. āI donāt understand it.ā
āIāve known you for a while,ā I said, āand at one time you were happy. It was obvious. What happened?ā
āI donāt know.ā
āHow often do you meet in person with a wise man, to feel connected in an emotionally intimate way?ā
āWell . . .ā
āBeen a long time?ā
āYeah, I suppose it has.ā
āHow many times in the past thirty days have you had a call of any meaningful length with a wise person?ā
There was a long pause. āI used to, but not lately.ā
Many years agoāwhen he was in his early twentiesāmy brother used to buy a used car every year or so, and on each occasion the engine completely failed in some way. I thought that was an unusual rate of complete breakdown, so I asked him how often he changed the oil in his engine.ā
He wrinkled his forehead and said, āOil?ā
Although my brother had purchased several cars, heād never known that changing oil was a desirable feature of engine maintenance. This is not unlike people who read some Real Love books, or attend a few conference calls, but then do nothing to maintain whatever love they find.
Cars require regular attention to oil, fuel, and more. People require maintenance of similar or greater diligence. Weāre worth it. So are our partners, children, and friends.
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