Master Index - E

1-A    B    C   D    E    F    G    H    I    J-K    L    M    N   O    P-Q    R    S   T    U    V    WXYZ

How to Use the Index

This Master Index covers thousands of topics found in every Real Love book, the 500 Daily Coaching Videos and all the blogs.

Note that all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book but not to location numbers in Kindle books.

In this index you can find Real Love answers to all your questions—it's like having your own personal coach 24/7.


How can you use it? Let’s look at a couple of examples:

Example One:
You want to tell the truth about yourself to your spouse. You want to change the direction of your marriage and create genuine, intimate, and lasting connections between you. How do you start? What can you say? Let’s look at the index:

Click on the T above and then go to Truth Telling, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings, like “about ourselves,” “about your spouse,” “about our mistakes,” and more.

Or click on M and go to Marriage, truth telling in

Example Two:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P and go to Parenting, and you’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest, like “teaching children about choice,” and more.


The following abbreviations are used throughout the Master Index:

DC = Daily Coaching Videos, 1 - 505
B = Blog, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
RL = The book, Real Love
RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
RLP = Real Love in Parenting
RLD = Real Love in Dating
RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
RLW= Real Love in the Workplace
EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books


Eagle, believing he’s a chicken, B04Jul11
Earthquakes, effect depends on building strength, B23Nov12, PCSD 106-7
Easier, we want, B25Aug14
Easy, loving with some people, B06Jul16
Eating, choices about, RLP271-2
Eating disorders, RLD12-13
Eating vs. whining, B15Aug14
Edison, Thomas, RLW 215
Editing conversations with children, examples, RLP156
important, but not as much as Real Love, B09Jul08, B14Sep11
in life, B14Sep11, B23Apr14
life, responsibility of parents, B23Apr14
Egg yolk, in meringue, B18Jan13
Eiger, The, B15Jul11
“Eight”, RLM 92-94, RLP157-9
a principle of loving listening, EWB333-7
asking for from others, RLW237-8
definition, RLW 181-6
examples, RLW 181-6, RLW237-8
EJFR, see Event - Judgment - Feeling - Reaction
Elderly, care of, B25Nov15
Electric shock:
PTSD from, B05Apr19
Electrolyte imbalance, B17Aug12
Electrolytes, maintenance, B07Sep15
addiction to, B17Aug11, B01Jan16
interfering with relationships, B17Aug11, B01Jan16
use of, B17Aug11, B01Jan16
Elegance, of solutions, B16Nov16
chained by rope, B17Feb12
memory, B28Dec16
Elevation, by association, B04May16
Embarrassment, cause of, RLWM 192
Emergency stations, B01May18
expressing, importance of, B18Nov11
expression, range, B18Nov11
expressions, examples, B18Nov11
keys, B18Nov11
Employee, discontented, responding to, RLV 286-8
Employee turnover:
caused by conflict in workplace, RLW 7
cost of, RLW202-3
increased by Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLW 88
Employee, unappreciated, victimhood in, RLV 167-8
happy when trusted, RLW 211
need for collaboration, RLW219
need for friendship, RLW219
need for leadership development, RLW 222-4
need for meaning, RLW206-8
need for positive feedback, not praise, RLW46-8, RLW217-18
need for recognition, RLW217-18
need for safety, RLW205-6
need for support with physical resources, RLW 208-9
need to feel trusted, RLW209-16
want adequate compensation, RLW205
want job security, RLW205-6
want to be supported, RLW204-25
want to be taught, RLW202-4
Emptiness and fear:
blind us, B25Mar11
cause of conflict, DC218-219-220
cause of victimhood, RLV 49
caused by lack of Real Love, RLV 72
disappointment proof of, RLV 74
effects of, DC9, DC31, DC54, B25Mar11
evidences of, RLM 192, RLM 223-24
examples of, RLV 71-2
identifying and addressing earlier, B08Jul11, B25Mar11
lack of, DC9
lies a sign of, DC39
make happiness impossible, RLV 73-4, RLV 140
make love impossible, RLV 140
not effective motivation, RLV 74
roses metaphor, RLV 73
selfish, RLV 71-4
wedding vows and, RLV 73
Empty (and emptiness):
blind in, EWB149, BWB169, BWB207
can only see people of what they’ll do to or for us when, RL47, RL72-3
caused by lack of Real Love, RL18
cause of Getting and Protecting Behaviors, BWB150
powerful motivation, BWB118
reactions to, RLW 47-8
the “war” of, BWB150
harmful, B15Sep14
vs. loving, DC395
each step, B08Nov17
vs. trust, B17May17
Enron failure:
Field of Death and, RLW59-60
Imitation Love and, RLW59-60
related to praise addiction, RLW39-40
caused by parents, B23Apr14
common, B23Apr14
how it happens, B12Mar14, B23Apr14
paying children to be, B23Apr14
Entitlement, B09Oct15
cause of, B25May16
deadly, B05Feb16
examples, B25May16
how learned, B04Aug17
spreading, B25May16
teaching, B04Aug17
like altering personality traits, B07Jan15
PCSD 47-8
Equation, balancing with love, B13Sep17
Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook, The:
multi-media use of, BWB13-15
using, BWB2-19
using by yourself, BWB15-16
using in Real Love group, BWB17-19
using with friend, BWB16-17
Essentials of Real Love Workbook, BWB 1-2
1. Agree on standards of performance, RLW 227-9
2. Agree on actual performance, RLW 229-38
3. Agree on the difference between the standard and actual performances, RLW 238
4. Determine why there’s a difference, RLW 238-9
5. Administer acknowledgment or establish plans for future action, or both, RLW 239-43
6. Follow up, RLW 243-4
7. Discuss and impose consequences, RLW 244
benefits of, RLW 230-31
expectations useful in, RLW 227-8
leaders generally trained poorly for, RLW 226-7
leaders’ general failure to perform well, RLW 229-30
mini-, RLW 247-8
of supervisor, RLW 245-6
process of, RLW 226-45
questions to use in relation to performance, RLW 232-4
scheduling, RLW 245
truth the foundation of, RLW 230-31
types of, RLW 227
difficulty of changing feelings and reactions alone, BWB194-6, BWB 417, BWB432-3
example of use, EWB397-401, BWB196-7, BWB199-200, BWB417, BWB432-3
examples, B14Mar16, B12Jun17, B30Mar18
explanation of, B20Aug12, RLWM 73-6, PCSD 258-70
illustrating that we must change judgment first, EWB161, EWB165-7, BWB194-6, BWB 433
introduction, EWB161, BWB 193-4
see Judgments
controlling alone difficult, BWB198
definition, BWB193
Everest, climbing, B14Mar14
Evidence, of who we are, B16Mar16
stopping in others, B15Aug12
responding to, DC285-286
responding to, DC149-150-151-152, DC353-354, DC457, DC480, B20Apr12
sharing parenting with, B20Apr12
talking about, B20Apr12
Example, power of, B04May16
false, B10Jan18
first time, B11Dec18
nature of, B10Jan18
real, B10Jan18
Exclusive partner, social requirement that we have, EWB355-9, BWB385-8
examples, B20Feb12, B28Jan14, B30Jul14
guarantee of future mistakes, RLW 66
identifying, B18Mar16
real meaning of, RLP204-5, RLW66
vs. truth, B30Jul14
worthless, B20Feb12, B28Jan14
Exercise, effect of, RLWM 164-5
Exercises, RL103-11, RLM 28-9, ELM 50-1, RLM 107-9, RLM 169-70, RLM 187, RLM 218-19, RLM 238-39, RLM 281-82, RLM 318-20, RLWM 275-86, BWB478
Exhaustion, pain and, B23Aug17
Expectations (expecting): B09Oct15
acceptable ones, B13Feb09, B26Mar12
acceptable with promise, RLM 210-13
anger proof of, RLD101, RLWM 56
avoid from any one person or group of people, DC161, DC502
bad placed on one person, RL71, RLWM 16, RLWM 64, EWB315, BWB 349-50, B28Oct08
burden, RLW105
can be beneficial, BWB351
can’t have for love or happiness, RLWM 56, RLWM 64
cause almost all problems in relationships, B28Oct08
cause anger, RLWM 231, BWB 275
cause conflict, RLP310
cause disappointment and anger, DC30, DC153-154-155, DC502, B13Dec06, B28Oct08, RLP310, RLW104, RLW293-4, EWB279-81, BWB431
cause of, RLM 41, RLM 46-8, RLD101-2
cause other people to feel unloved, B28Oct08
caused by lack of Real Love, RL132, RL230-1, RLM 47-8, RLM 77, RLP68, RLW292-4
characteristics, B31Dec14
choice, B28Oct08
consequences negative, RLM 196
consequences of, RLW105, RLW292-4
dangers of, DC153-154-155, DC164-165, DC296-297, DC360, DC363-364, DC502, B28Oct08, B21Mar12, B01May17
demanding fulfillment of unhealthy, RLWM 57-8, RLWM 231
destroy possibility of love, RLD101
destroy relationships, RL53, RL132-3
destructive, RLM 46-9, EWB279-81, EWB343-4, BWB 275, BWB349
disappointment and anger are signs of, RL53-4, RL230-1, RLM 47-8, RLP310, RLWM 55
disappointment and irritation proof of, BWB351
don’t work, BWB349-50
effects of, DC24, DC99, RLP317-9, RLD58-9, RLD207, EWB313, BWB349-50
eliminated with Real Love, RLM 67-9, BWB351
eliminating, RLD101-2, RLWM 65
eliminating by seeing them, RLP317-9
eliminating gets rid of disappointment and anger, RLM 65-8
eliminating with understanding, RLWM 65, RLWM 244
evidence of, RLM 136
evidence of emptiness, DC449
examples, B28Oct08, RLD195-7, BWB349-50, BWB351
examples, bad, RLWM 56-7, RLWM 58, RLWM 64
examples, good, RLWM 56-7, RLWM 58
examples of, PCSD 98-100, EWB313-4
examples of in workplace, RLW103, RLW292-4
failure to see ours of our children, RLP70-1
foolishness of,  B21Mar12
for Imitation Love when we give it ourselves, RL52-3
for love always unproductive, EWB315, BWB 352
for love just don’t work, RLWM 64-5
for people to stop doing things to us, RL232-4
for Real Love all right, but not on one person, RL70-1, RL95, RL177, RL229
form of controlling, RLWM 54-5
good and bad, RL55-6, RL194
gratitude impossible with, RLM 212-13
greater with people closer to us, RLW103
happiness impossible with, RLWM 58
having different than demanding fulfillment of, RLWM 57-8
healthy ones, RL194, RLM 210-12, RLWM 55, RLWM 58, RLWM 253
hidden when getting everything we want, RL232
higher with family, DC153-154-155, DC161, B21Mar12
how to let go of, DC24, DC360
in contract, RL222
in marriage, RL194, RLM 46-9, RLM 67-9, RLM 171-73, RLWM 56
in workplace, RL222
justifying with emptiness and fear, RL132
law of, RLP309-12, RLD101-2, RLW105, RLW292-4, EWB313-4, BWB 349-51
Law of, exceptions to, RLW 106,RLW 227-8,RLW 292-4
Law of, violated by anger, RLW105, RLW107
law of Expectations, defined, RL53, RLM 46-9
make Real Love impossible, DC153-154-155, DC389, B13Dec06, B28Oct08, RLD101, RLWM 16, PCSD 99-100, EWB343-4, EWB401-3, BWB 349, BWB373
meanings of, DC134, DC136
natural without Real Love, RL52, RL132, RL190
nature of, EWB313, BWB349
no, effect, B04Sep17
no gratitude in, RLWM 58
not effective motivation, RLW105
of children to love us, RLP68-71
of other people to love us, RLW103-5
poison of, B28Oct08
promises exception to Law of, EWB314, BWB351-3
Real Love with essential, RLWM 59
responding to, DC368-369, DC449
right to, vs. demanding they be filled, RLM 211-12
right to have with promises, RLW292-4
roses metaphor, PCSD 99
ruin happiness, RLP312
see Controlling
selfish, RL52-4, RL230-1, EWB313, BWB349
signs of, RLP310
some wrong even with promise, BWB352
teaching children about, RLP310-2
useful in evaluations, RLW227-9
violate Law of Choice, BWB349
vs. hope, RLD96
vs. requests, RL61-2, RL178-9, RL232-4
why we have, RLD59
why we keep using, EWB314, BWB 350-1
without everything a gift, RL182-3
wrong, RLD101
effects of, B19May14
gives us tools to deal with next difficult situation, B08Feb11
many contribute to strength, B24Apr18
not required, DC267-268-269, B26Oct12
Exponents, math, B23Mar18
Expressing, who we are, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
Expressing and practicing, who we are, B14Aug17, B16Feb18
learns to see with brain, B03Feb17
on road, B07Apr17
open, B30Oct15
rubbing, B11Apr18
Eye contact, RLM 95
loving act, RLW175