Every day I talk to people who bitterly complain about circumstances in their lives: spouses, children, work—the usual. It’s a spiral of victimhood that never seems to end for many, so often I try to help them focus on a path that is far more productive—like receiving the love I’m giving them in that moment, for example. But many of these victims continue to argue, fight, and sulk, in the very moment that they’re being offered what they need most.
Victims are lost in the desert and screaming that they’re hungry and thirsty. You can hand them a plate of food and drink, but many of them throw it on the ground and continue to scream that they’re starving. They are determined to eat the sand they’re familiar with, rather than simply eat what would save their lives.
All you can do is offer. Some victims eventually become hungry enough to accept your love, but with others you need to realize at some point that nothing you do will make a difference. You cannot make them eat.