Rebecca called to tell me that she was organizing a conference at work, and she was worried about it. A lot of people were attending, including her supervisor, and they were counting on her to make the conference successful.
This theme runs through the lives of nearly all of us. We were not sufficiently loved as young children, so we do not have the profound confidence in our worth that produces a sense of peace and joy. That pain is intolerable, so—mostly unconsciously—we tend to labor long and hard to prove our worth by the things we DO.
That approach never works. Ever. Why? In part because we’re trying to prove something that’s already true.
We’re already worthwhile. We were born that way. Who would look at a newborn and think, "Well, we’ll see if this kid is worth loving. If he proves himself, then maybe I’ll care about him." Unthinkable. If you encountered a newborn lying on the ground, you’d immediately take care of the baby, without him doing anything to earn his worth or your love.
We’re doing this all backward. Instead of proving our worth by what we do, it’s far easier and more productive if we simply accept our worth right off. We’re worthwhile because we’re God’s children, because people love us, because of whatever reason works for us—and then everything changes. There’s no pressure to prove ourselves.
Now, instead of doing thing to prove your worth, you can just allow your performance (the doing) to proceed forth naturally FROM who you already ARE. If we could remember this principle alone, we’d quit worrying about everything.
The day after I explained all this to Rebecca, she called me and said, “I nailed it.”
“Did you notice a difference in how you FELT?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “I just didn’t care.”
“I didn’t care about whether the conference succeeded. I didn’t care what people said about it. I simply did my best. I already knew I was worthwhile—I remembered what you said to me—so my work was easy. I was in the flow. It was infinitely easier. There was no stress, no fear.”
Stop proving your worth with what you do.
Simply allow what you do to flow from your undeniable, inherent worth.
EXPRESS who you are everywhere you go, while simultaneously practicing ways to grow who you are—to make your best better.
Oh, and remember that life is supposed to be fun.
Replace your fear and confusion with peace and happiness.
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