Rebecca called to tell me that she was organizing a conference at work, and she was worried about it. A lot of people were attending, including her supervisor, and they were counting on her to make the conference successful.
This theme runs through the lives of nearly all of us. We were not sufficiently loved as young children, so we do not have the profound confidence in our worth that produces a sense of peace and joy. That pain is intolerable, soāmostly unconsciouslyāwe tend to labor long and hard to prove our worth by the things we DO.
That approach never works. Ever. Why? In part because weāre trying to prove something thatās already true.
Weāre already worthwhile. We were born that way. Who would look at a newborn and think, "Well, weāll see if this kid is worth loving. If he proves himself, then maybe Iāll care about him." Unthinkable. If you encountered a newborn lying on the ground, youād immediately take care of the baby, without him doing anything to earn his worth or your love.
Weāre doing this all backward. Instead of proving our worth by what we do, itās far easier and more productive if we simply accept our worth right off. Weāre worthwhile because weāre Godās children, because people love us, because of whatever reason works for usāand then everything changes. Thereās no pressure to prove ourselves.
Now, instead of doing thing to prove your worth, you can just allow your performance (the doing) to proceed forth naturally FROM who you already ARE. If we could remember this principle alone, weād quit worrying about everything.
The day after I explained all this to Rebecca, she called me and said, āI nailed it.ā
āThe conference?ā
āYep.ā
āDid you notice a difference in how you FELT?ā
āOh, yeah,ā she said. āI just didnāt care.ā
āAbout what?ā
āI didnāt care about whether the conference succeeded. I didnāt care what people said about it. I simply did my best. I already knew I was worthwhileāI remembered what you said to meāso my work was easy. I was in the flow. It was infinitely easier. There was no stress, no fear.ā
Stop proving your worth with what you do.
Simply allow what you do to flow from your undeniable, inherent worth.
EXPRESS who you are everywhere you go, while simultaneously practicing ways to grow who you areāto make your best better.
Oh, and remember that life is supposed to be fun.