In many places I have written about the damage caused by expectations. One source of expectations is our belief that somehow we are special. Our needs are special, or our wounds are special, so we deserve extra attention or mercy or justice or whatever. People who feel special tend to feel like victims when they don’t get what they demand, and they use their specialness to compensate for a lack of feeling just worthwhile and lovable.
In the play, West Side Story, there is a song, “I’m so Pretty,” which begins,
“I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.”
People who feel a need to be special would render the above stanza as follows:
“I’m so special,
I’m so special
I feel special, entitled, and RIGHT!
And I pity
All the people who aren’t half so bright.”
We don’t need to be special, which leads to victimhood and expectations. All we need is to feel loved and worthwhile, which is plenty to give us the peace and happiness we really want.
