Learning involves making mistakes. In this article I share a powerful way to respond to mistakes, inspired by a car navigation system.
The Unavoidable Truth: Making Mistakes is Guaranteed
The whole goal of learning is to acquire information or skills that we didnāt have before and, hopefully, to use that information to make our lives happier.
By definition, as we learn our knowledge grows, so as we move along the road of learning it is absolutely unavoidable that we must at times make choices with imperfect knowledge, and with imperfect knowledge we cannot avoid making mistakes.
In other words, in the process of learning, we are guaranteed to make mistakes. It is not possible to avoid them.
Why We Demonize Mistakes: Shame vs. Growth
Itās ironic, then, that we generally paint mistakes with such a heavy brush of dishonor and shame.
When other people make mistakesāespecially if they affect us in a negative wayāwe almost uniformly make them feel guilty for daring to commit a ācrimeā against us. We require apologies and demand that people pay for their mistakes.
When we make mistakes, we feel guilty and often shameful.
And we do all this over these mistakes that are an unavoidable part of the process of learning.
A Lesson from My Car: The "Recalculating Approach"
Recently I experienced a much better way of responding to mistakes. I borrowed a friendās car, and in it I found a navigation device, which was capable of giving me directions to any place in the country.
I was fascinated with this device. It actually spoke and told me how far I had to travel to the next turn, which direction to turn, which lane to get in, and so on.
At one point, I was inattentive and drove past the street where the device told me to turn.
To my amazement, the device did not shout, āYou idiot! The turn was back there. Are you stupid, or are you blind?ā
No, instead the device said, āRecalculating,ā and then it gave me new directions to my destination, based on my new location. All was well in the world.
Recalculating, Not Yelling: A Better Way Forward
What an amazing lesson:
- People do not learn better when theyāre yelled at.
- They donāt need to be told that theyāre stupid.
- They donāt need to be beaten or made to feel guilty.
- When they make mistakes, they just need to see the mistakes and learn from them.
Wouldnāt the world be different if every time someone made a mistake, we simply said, āRecalculating?ā