By Greg Baer M.D.

July 10, 2012

Every day I talk to people who are unhappy in various ways: angry, alone, imprisoned by addictions, and so on. And they have no clue whatever how to correct their misery.

This blind frustration reminds me of occasions when I was a chemistry major in college. Occasionally an experiment produced unexpected results over and over. Usually the problem was solved by recalibrating some piece of equipment used in the experiment.

Calibration is the process of comparing an unknown quantity–weight, volume, temperature–to a quantity that is known with a specified degree of certainty. In the manufacture of the old-style thermometers, for example, marks are inscribed adjacent to a column of mercury or dyed alcohol, which rises as the temperature rises and the liquid expands. First, however, the thermometer's "zero" mark–in the Celsius scale–is compared to a substance whose zero temperature is already known. Water freezes at zero degrees Celsius, and that condition is used to establish zero on the thermometer. Thus, the calibration process of the thermometer is begun.

What if a thermometer is calibrated improperly, or "miscalibrated?" What if zero on the thermometer is compared with the freezing point of another substance, or zero is inscribed on the thermometer as compared to a point where water is not yet frozen? Then every subsequent measurement made by that thermometer will be incorrect. Miscalibration makes every measurement useless.

Correct calibration is also required in relationships. With absolute certainty, we must know what love really is, for example, or every subsequent feeling, word, and behavior will be misguided in some way. People struggle in relationships to create love, when their definition of love–their calibration–is wrong from the beginning. This creates false hopes, terrible results, dashed expectations, and enormous frustration.

We must learn the definition of Real Love, and then we must actually feel it, which grounds us in the truth–correctly calibrates our souls, so to speak. With that accurate reference, we won't be fooled by the miscalibration of almost everyone around us.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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