I’m Afraid This Isn’t Real

By Greg Baer M.D.

August 11, 2014

As I spoke with Ruth, she said she was feeling more loved than ever before in her life, but then she winced and said, “But I’m afraid this isn’t real.”

“Nah,” I said, “that’s not what you’re afraid of.”


“Nope. Just a moment ago you had a beautiful, peaceful expression on your face, and you said you felt more loved than you ever have in your life. Were you afraid then?”

She paused to remember. “No, I guess not.”

“So while you were feeling loved, peaceful, and happy, suddenly you became AFRAID that the truth was you were NOT loved and happy? That actually makes sense to you?”

“Well, I don’t know.”

“When you were feeling loved and happy, you were just TRUSTING. You weren’t thinking about it. You were just DOING it. It was amazing to watch. Oh, but then something clicked in your head and you fell back into an old behavior that’s kept you unhappy all your life.”

“What?” she asked

“You started THINKING. Lots of things. You thought:

‘I haven’t felt like this before, so how could this be real now?

‘I don’t know anybody else who loves like this, so why would HE? He must want something.

‘If this were real, I would have seen it before, but I haven’t.

‘None of my friends have ever talked about feeling like this.’

Instead of trusting, you started thinking in circles. And those old thoughts led to old fears, and the fears led to more thinking. As soon as you started thinking, you were doomed.”

“Until you said it, I didn’t realize I was thinking all that, but I was.”

“So what you became afraid of was trusting, and that happened with all your thinking. Thinking is great for surviving and for solving math problems. Doesn’t work well for finding love and happiness. But trusting works great for that. You chose to think instead of trusting, and look what happened.”

We think to find solutions, to solve problems, and to accomplish tasks, and we learned that the harder we thought, the better we performed. But only trusting allows us to enter the higher realms of FEELING: love, peace, confidence, joy. We lose our fears. That’s quite a feeling, and we can’t get there with thinking.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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