Learn the Truth and Dwell on That

By Greg Baer M.D.

December 22, 2020

Most of us have been taught horrifying lies all our lives. For example:

ā€œThe world is a harsh and painful place.ā€

ā€œWe have to earn whatever acceptance and attention we get.ā€

ā€œIf we make mistakes, we are less worthwhile.ā€

Because we are taught these liesā€”with a great many variationsā€”from birth, we BELIEVE them. We believe them so thoroughly that they become the foundation and framework for everything else we believe, feel, and do for the rest of our lives.

These lies are deeply embedded everywhere in our conscious and unconscious minds, and without any effort on our part, one or more of them will intrude into our thoughtsā€”usually many times a day. Immediately we respond to these thoughts with fear, and if we do nothing about themā€”and why would we, if weā€™ve come to consider them as normal?ā€”they will grow like a cancer, like a fire set among dry brush and trees.

Two weeks after spending some time with me, Veronica called, and I asked how she was doing. ā€œIā€™m having a hard time,ā€ she said. ā€œYou feel so far away. Itā€™s hard toā€”ā€

I interrupted. ā€œWhoa, stop.ā€

Emotionally, she was already spinning out of control, like a large rock rolling down a steep hill, destroying everything in its path. Once I had her attention, I continued. ā€œVeronica dear, youā€™ve said less than three sentences so far, and they were all complaining and despairing.ā€

ā€œButā€”ā€

I interrupted again. ā€œVeronica, youā€™re already an expert at speaking the lies of your past, which is what youā€™re doing now. Youā€™re just repeating old beliefs, and theyā€™re false. You donā€™t need anymore practice with that. So letā€™s practice speaking the truth.ā€

She had begun a spiral of thinking that never ends well, and which a great many of us are familiar with. Fear, like fire, will feed itself and consume everything around it. When fear appears, we must act far sooner. Itā€™s much easier to blow out a match than a forest fire. Itā€™s easier to stop fear and lies early, rather than wait until they have consumed us.

We cannot control the thoughts that pop into our heads, anymore than we can choose the dreams we have while we sleep. There are billions of neuronal connections in our brains, and from time to time they activate in ways that result in unpredictable thoughts.

We CAN, however, choose what to do with these thoughts. If we allow them to persist, if we entertain and nourish them, they will grow into a blaze we cannot extinguish. When we experience enough fear, our ability to make choices essentially disappears.

So what can we do when we have fearful or angry thoughts, the thoughts we know from past experience will spin out of control? For most of us itā€™s unproductive simply to simply try to stop thinking. If I tell you, for example, to stop thinking the word purple, you will immediately think that word.

So what can we do with these crazy thoughts? We can REPLACE them with thoughts we consciously choose. To Veronica, I said, ā€œInstead of talking about how HARD things are for youā€”a word you chose twice in three sentencesā€”consider what you MIGHT have said. You could have said, ā€˜Thanks for taking my call. Itā€™s a real comfort knowing that I can call you and just feel your love for me. And many times a day I remember the time you spent with me two weeks ago. I used to feel so hopeless. I thought no one would ever care about me, but I donā€™t feel hopeless now. In fact, I have what Iā€™ve always wanted.ā€™ā€

We ALL can change our thoughts. We can remember what is true, that we DO have people who care about us, even if itā€™s one or twoā€”which is infinitely greater than none. We can choose to be grateful, instead of whining about what we donā€™t have. We can remember the Five Truths we have discussed on many occasions here.

So letā€™s make this even more practical. Letā€™s suppose you have a fearful or negative thought. Do NOT wait and let the fear incubate. Do not wait to put out the fire until itā€™s consuming the forest. Blow out the match. The INSTANT you have a fearful thought, say to yourselfā€”silently or even out loud, as I have with myself on many occasionsā€”ā€œSTOP!! Stop it right now. You KNOW where these thoughts go. They never make you happy. So I CHOOSE to think about what is TRUE. There are people who love me. I know this. God loves me. I am not alone. I have everything I need in order to be happy. I have nothing to fear. I am happy, and everything else fades in comparison.ā€

This is not about thinking POSITIVELY. Not at all. Our goal is to choose to think about the TRUTH, rather than to entertain the lies that make us miserable.

Most of us are prisoners to the lies we have been taught from infancy. Itā€™s a horrifying way to live. We do NOT have to live like this. We can learn the truth and dwell on that, which will replace the lies and unhappiness. We can begin to do that today, and then we practice for the rest of our lives.

PCSD

Stop living as a prisoner to liesā€”Choose Truth

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real LoveĀ® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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