The Problem

By Greg Baer M.D.

July 28, 2014

Sylvia called and began by saying, “I’m struggling with . . .” She then described one problem after another.

I soon interrupted and asked, “Do you know what your real problem is?”

“I’m not sure,” she said.

“You keep describing your problems—over and over and over. You wallow in them, talk about them, and repeat them. You’re addicted to your problems. By comparison, almost never do you recognize or describe the solutions.”

“But don’t I have to understand my problems before I can solve them?”

“How long does it take you to recognize that gnawing feeling in your gut when you haven’t eaten most of the day? What’s that called?”


“Right, and once you’ve identified it, what do you do? Do you endlessly repeat, ‘I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry’? Do you obsess about your fears that you’ll always be hungry? Do you whine and cry about it?”

“No, I just eat.”

“Right, that makes a LOT more sense than repeating a statement of the problem. Same with your other problems. Sure, you need to at least identify and possibly understand them, but you only need to do that once. Then it’s time to apply the solution.”

“Like how?”

“We’ve talked enough, surely, for you to recognize that your primary problem is not feeling loved, yes?”


“We’re talking right this minute—you and I. I’m loving you right now, and yet you’re missing the entire experience—the solution you need—because you just keep rolling around in the muck of your problems. Doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

Identifying problems requires little skill. It’s easy to see a forest fire, for example—no intellectual challenge there. But after a problem is identified, it’s time to recognize and implement the solution. Now.

Don’t make it complicated.

Don’t waste time doubting the solution. 

Just take action. Do something.

Find love. Trust the love you find and remember it.

With love, fear will be banished, and with a clear mind, you can find a great many other solutions.

Real Love book

Replace your fear and confusion with peace and happiness.


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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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