Why Did We Not Get Enough Real Love? – Top Ten #2

Why Did We Not Get Enough Real Love? – Top Ten #2  

Greg explains why we did not get enough Real Love in our lives, how living with disappointment or anger made that impossible. 

In question number one of the top 10 questions, we defined Real Love. Real Love is caring about the happiness of others without wanting anything for ourselves in return. It's not Real Love when I do what you want and you like me. It's Real Love when I’m stupid and inconvenient but you don't feel disappointed or irritated at me. There is no disappointment or anger in Real Love. Why do I say that?

Imagine that I’m describing to you a mistake that you've made. I’m pointing out ways that you could do a particular task in a way that would be more efficient, faster, even more fun for you. You can feel from my tone, my posture, my expression, everything about me, that my concern is for you. But the instant I’m irritated at you, you know that my primary concern is for whom? It's obvious, isn't it? The moment I’m disappointed or irritated at you, I’m virtually screaming with my behavior that you have failed to do something for ME or you have done something that irritates ME. It's all about me and while I’m standing over you screaming Me-Me-Me, is there any chance in the world you could feel my unconditional concern for your happiness? Not a chance. None.

Why We Did Not Get Enough Real Love  

And that is why something like 99% of us don't feel unconditionally loved. From the time we were small children, when we were quiet, clean, obedient, got good grades, when we were, you know, good, our parents and others smiled. They spoke in gentle tones and they told us in other ways that they approved of us. But we also saw what happened the instant we screwed up, when we fought with our sister, made too much noise, embarrassed our parents in public, and on and on, all those signs of approval were gone in an instant.

It was not intentional on anyone's part but because of the dramatic change in almost everyone's behavior, what lesson did we learn? There could only be one: when you're good I love you, when you're not, I don't. That is not unconditional love or Real Love and it left us feeling empty, alone, and unloved. It left us in pain, in most cases, for the rest of our lives.

Is there a way out of this tragedy? Oh sure! As you devour the messages of this Real Love.com website, you'll learn a great deal about how to find and share Real Love, how to heal all the wounds of the past, and how to find the profound happiness and rich relationships you've always wanted.

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Find and experience Real Love in your life NOW. 



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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.