A Plan for Overcoming Addictions
You no longer need to be at the mercy of your addictions. Watch this video clip from Video Chat 273 that gives you a plan for overcoming addictions. Follow the plan and live a free, fulfilling life.
Overcoming Addictions by Being More Productive
This is from a man who's addicted to porn, women, video games, leisure pursuits—the guy lives for pleasure. I helped him come up with a plan for being more productive rather than just numbing his pain.
He's a professional, in fact, and I asked him how he was doing one day. And he said, “You know, I'm actually doing pretty well. It's been enjoyable to be more productive.” He had actually done what I suggested. How delightful for you! I mean it! It's no small thing to discover the inherent fulfillment in accomplishing things. Not the imitation love of praise, just the sense of fulfillment that comes from doing things well.
All our lives we were taught that if we worked hard we would be worthwhile. No, not true. God would love us more. No. Everybody around us would like us more, mm-hmm, some people will. We’ll make more money and on and on and on. And so we did the right things for all these external reasons. But the real reward is from the satisfaction and the confidence that come simply from working, from doing well, from doing good in the world. Love is unconditional but confidence and satisfaction are not. You have to actually earn those.
How to Successfully Stay Away from Harmful Things
He continues, “I find that I enjoy life more and I feel more excited when I'm studying, interacting with people, and staying away from porn and the other things that you know I've been addicted to for so long.” This is great stuff! When the rewards of meaningful life are greater than the rewards of porn or drinking or whatever the addiction is, THAT is when we stay away from the harmful things. Just being told they're harmful, just knowing they're bad, is not enough. Having a preacher at the head of the church pounding his fists on the Bible and telling us we're going to go to hell if we do bad things has been pretty well proven to be ineffective. We have to have somebody to replace those behaviors and you have found some of those things and it's been enjoyable for you.
You continue, “I've been communicating more with my wife throughout the day and trying to think about HER more when I am tempted to draw my thoughts elsewhere. I've been going to bed a little earlier and setting goals for each day of what I want to accomplish. I don't always meet my goals but it's fun to meet some of them.” Bless your heart and what an example you are. It's in the doing and in the becoming that we find the joy, not necessarily in the completion of everything.
Goals and Focus
“Right now most of my focus is on completing this one particular graduate course but I'm also watching Real Love video chats. I'm reading the Bible, some other books. I've actually done more reading in the last two weeks than I have in many months. I'm enjoying myself.” And I'm thrilled for you you're finding lasting motivations to do right things and overcoming your addictions. You continue, "Life isn't perfect and I could still be better but I really have had an enjoyable several days. I feel like this is the way I want to live and as I think that, it only seems to keep getting better.”
He didn't describe some changes that he was beginning to make with his children like you know, "I need to be more part of their lives," and so on. You might not see miraculous changes in the beginning just like you didn't see miraculous changes in the beginning of your doing more productive things but your kids are dying for your love so it will make a difference. And this will provide you with yet another reason to do things other than to an engage in your old addictive behaviors. So each little step doesn't seem like a whole lot but it was actually Chairman Mao who said a thousand-mile journey is composed of a million little steps or something to that effect. So. it's amazing what you're doing.
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