Looking for a Potential Partner

Looking for a Potential Partner

Greg explains why we often end up chasing a dream or illusion when looking for a potential partner. This “Nugget” is a short segment from Video Chat 252.

Transcript:

The Mistakes Made in Looking for Potential Partner

"But these complicated men and beautiful women are almost always high maintenance, less available themselves emotionally because they're focused on themselves and much higher maintenance for you. And we just don't need that. All you want is somebody who is capable of loving you. Even if he's plainer, less obviously exciting, possibly even slightly boring," she said. "As if the challenging or successful man's love is worth more."

Yes. And it's always been thus with humans, as I said, and it's worth repeating. A man feels more loved by a beautiful woman than a plain one. Women feel more loved by successful, complicated, wealthy, intelligent men. It's as though some quality in the other person makes their love more valuable, but it's not true and we have to get this, or we'll always be chasing a dream, an illusion.

She said, "I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well," Oh, you're explaining it perfectly. "This is a biggie for me," she said, "and I really want it not to be this way. If I do, then I could well miss out on meeting a guy who is simple and straightforward, dare I say normal, and dismiss this person as less than and even boring."

The Important Principle in Setting Standards for a Potential Partner

That's exactly the problem you've been facing. You have dated how many complicated, interesting, wealthy, clever, exciting men who own entire islands, who fly around the world, and how much happiness have you found with them? Grand total zero. Easy to calculate. If you set stupid standards for a potential partner, you'll miss the partner that you really want and the partner that you need.

She said, "I think I may have finally hit upon a big one and I may need some love and guidance on it." Yeah, it's a big principle to get. It's a big principle for most people to get who are dating. And it will make a big difference in HOW you look for a potential partner.

Real Love in Dating

Learn how to find the perfect partner.

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Real Love in Dating

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Dating

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Greg Baer Real Love

About the author

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.