Greg helps a woman learn how to ask her husband a question to help him communicate his anger so that she can be unafraid. This video clip is taken from Video Chat 321.
“I told him it didn't matter what he was angry about, I can't handle being around anger.” Now, this is why I told you earlier, that you needed to say right in the beginning that you'd like to know what he's angry about. Why? If you'd asked him to tell you in words about why he was angry, he would have discovered, you would have discovered, that it wasn't about you. And you could have just sat in his lap, for example.
It's not anger that you can't be around. That's an old PCSD wound. You think you can't be around anger at all because you were raised in a home where that's all there was. It's anger at YOU that bothers you, by far the most. Really, not his communicating anger. You might tell him now that you just learned this, that it's anger at you and if you learn the anger isn't about you well then you suddenly can become helpful rather than offended.
We all need to do this. We can deal with anger if it's not about us. In fact, if somebody tells me they're angry and it's not about me, I'll go out of my way to love them so that they can be happy again.
Learn more about understanding anger.