The Perfect Dating Profile
Greg talks about how to write the perfect dating profile to attract a loving partner in this "nugget" from Video Chat 268.
Transcript:
Don't Settle for a Trite Dating Profile
I know a man who is just nothing short of a miracle. I know a lot of people like that, but he's just amazing. His life is completely different from what it was. Oh, even two years ago, love has really made quite a transformation in him. And he writes this:
"A girl on a dating site asked me to tell her quite a bit about me. All right. I wasn't quite sure what she wanted, but I sat down and, and this is what I whipped up. Here are some assorted facts about me. I used to be miserable and hide from the world." By the way, those of you who are dating, you might listen to this because sometimes even in Real Love, people send me their dating profiles and they sound like everybody else out there. 'I'm athletic and fit and I like walks, moonlit walks on the beach and puppies and world peace' and I'm going, wow, you really should compete in the Miss World competition. How are you going to stand out as anything different unless you really talk genuinely about yourself? So listen to what this guy says.
Honesty in a Dating Profile
"I used to be miserable and hide from the world both physically and emotionally," whoa, you're going to have everybody's attention right there. "I used to be miserable and hide." Who puts that in their dating profile, smart people. "In the last 2.5 years, a lot of things have happened in my life, some painful, some delightful, and I learned quite a lot about myself and others. Now my baseline has become peace and joy. I'm grateful for what I have and I try things that I didn't use to. Like today, I just decided I would start talking to strangers on the train on my way to work." He could have just stopped there. Really? This already sets him apart from everybody else. This guy's eager to learn, eager to try new things, has courage, guts, faith.
He continues. "My typical journey to work would include texting my friends with my thoughts, my kind thoughts toward them. Like for example, today I texted several friends and said, 'I hope your heart is open to receive whatever happens today' or just to say that I'm thinking of them. I walk slowly down the platform sometimes to the rhythm of music as people rush around me. I swing on a swing at the local church that's nearby me and do cartwheels on the lawn." This guy's early 30s, I think he's just learning how to do cartwheels. Uh, like I said I date this guy. "I take time to marvel at the beauty of the world."
Vulnerability in a Dating Profile
"I still don't like people to see me when I feel miserable, even though it's when I need them the most." Oh, I mean that's just touching, it's vulnerable. He says, "I love being listened to. I love sharing little things that happened to me that might include a photo of nature." That took my breath away. "A story of how I met a lady picking firewood in the forest and had a chat with her, how I sat on a tree, how we sang American Pie in the car on the way home from church. All that happened just yesterday.
"My marriage ended because I was too afraid of my wife's disapproval to be emotionally available. So I couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved." This is a perfect profile. He says, "My life is blessed, enriched, and enriched even to many people, even though it might sound to many people to be boring. I don't go to parties or pubs or clubs or drink at all for that matter. But I love life right now. I'm a computer programmer, but it's been less fun since my spiritual journey started. I prefer being with people and helping them directly. I do it by listening, giving them space, caring about them. Sometimes pointing out things they don't see. I have calls with people from the Real Love Community. I run a weekly group where people practice talking about their joys and mistakes being vulnerable with others and feeling loved.
A Dating Profile that Weeds Out Those Who Won't Appreciate You
"Being with me may be hard now because I tend to interpret information and feedback sometimes as criticism, especially when it comes from women. Probably because of my past interactions with other women in my life, my first wife, my mother, my grandmother. I'm learning how to ask for what I want instead of manipulating people but it's pretty new to me. As I wrote this, it helped me to remember how blessed my life is. Maybe I should do it more often. I'm grateful and I really enjoyed sharing this," he says.
This is like crazy, amazing, crazy, cool. Do you want to attract loving people right into your life? Write a profile like that. It will instantly weed out the people who would not appreciate you. Beautiful thing to read. Just beautiful.
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