When your children were born, they were just so darling, weren’t they? They adored you with their smiles, giggled at the sound of your voice, and lifted your spirits with an innocence and charm beyond words.
There is nothing you would not do for them, and you PROMISED them—from the depths of your heart—that you would love them and help them grow up to be ecstatically happy and fulfilled.
And then real life happened. They began to:
- Whine, stomp their feet, and defy you.
- Fight with their siblings and others.
- Live on their phone, video games, and social media.
- Withdraw from you, stay in their room, act depressed, and have suicidal thoughts.
- Become anxious and angry.
- Exhibit symptoms of ADHD.
- Be irresponsible with school, chores at home, and being on time.
You do NOT know how to respond to all this. Surely somebody has some SIMPLE PARENTING TIPS to reverse these impossible patterns of behavior.
We all want a quick fix—who doesn't?—that involves a short list of cute positive parenting tips for success, but that never, ever works with significant problems.
If you’re having a heart attack and need surgery, you can’t hope that your neighbor can handle it by learning the “Five Easy Tips to Great Heart Surgery,” printed on a card—right?
No, heart surgeons must dedicate themselves for many years to learning how the body works, how it malfunctions, and what they can do about it.
Fortunately, such a training program exists for parents, but it’s not about learning a few
If you are truly dedicated, it REALLY WORKS. Don’t stop. Find out what you can do that WILL work with your child. You will find the relief—even the joy—that you are looking for.
What are Good Parenting Tips?
What is the Best Parenting Tip?
Wrong questions. The real questions are these:
Why is Parenting Difficult?
Why is My Child Having Problems?
THOSE are THE questions. Until you can answer them, you will be confused and helpless with your child. And almost no experts can answer them.
We cannot understand our children until we first realize that what we all need more than anything is to feel LOVED.
As proven by many studies, love is THE ingredient necessary for happiness, and without it we WILL be in pain. We WILL feel small and helpless, and we HATE that. So do our children.
Our children are in pain because they don’t feel sufficiently loved BY US.
Yes, I know you love your children as well as you can, but YOU were not given the KIND of love YOU needed as a child either, so you don’t have it to give.
LOVE is both the reason for our children’s pain and also the answer. But we must understand that NOT just any kind of love will do.
What we all need is UNCONDITIONAL love, or Real Love®, which means to care about another person without any thought for something in return. There is no disappointment or irritation in Real Love®.
You didn’t get that kind of love—with no disappointment or anger—so you don’t have it to give your children. How do I know that you didn’t get unconditional love?
Remember in your childhood how many times:
- your parents or others rolled their eyes at your mistakes.
- they criticized your performance, especially with a “tone.”
- they told you they were disappointed in you—with their words, their facial expression.
- you just needed to talk to someone, but there was no one there.
Each of these times we were not unconditionally loved—whether aggressively or by simple neglect—we FELT the message, “I don’t love you.” Really. It was like being poked with a sharp stick. Our children have the same pain.
All of us—including our children—MUST be unconditionally loved and taught how to maintain our feelings of worth, our creativity, and how to identify and be responsible for our feelings.
When children don’t feel unconditionally loved, they try ANY behavior that will earn our approval or protect them from feeling worthless. They try to please us, to earn praise. When that wears off, they try whining, complaining, disappearing into screens, anger, fighting, resisting, more pleasing, and on and on.
When everything fails to make them genuinely happy—not just entertained or briefly satisfied—they become emotionally discouraged. They feel small. They become anxious, angry, and depressed.
To be plain: the reason your child has difficult behaviors is that you simply were not loved unconditionally yourself, and now you don’t know how to give that life-giving ingredient to them.
And yes, you’re doing your best, but your disappointment, irritation, or simple lack of involvement with your child—all of which happen much more often than you might think—are crushingly painful to them, followed by all their problem behaviors that are just reactions to that pain. Do not feel guilty. It all began with the love you did not get yourself.
Take the first step right now. Say out loud these words: “My child is having problems because of MY disappointment, irritation, or lack of involvement, which proves that I simply don’t know HOW to love my child unconditionally.”
Yes, ouch, but now we can talk about truly effective solutions.
And now the next questions:
How Can I Help My Child?
Where Are the Parenting Books?
Where to Get Parenting Advice?
Where to Take Parenting Classes?
Is There an Answer?
Oh yes, there IS an answer. But there is no shortcut to learning to be a loving parent, which is easily one of the most difficult jobs on earth.
We must be TAUGHT how to parent, and in the Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training, you will learn how you can completely eliminate disappointment and anger from your life.
And THEN you can learn how to unconditionally love and teach your children.
THAT is the solution to preventing and treating a child in pain and all the reactive behaviors that follow.
After thirty years of experience I have learned that love WORKS, but learning to receive and give it requires vulnerability and focused effort on your part. There are no easy or quick solutions, but there IS a solution.
I promise you that children who feel loved simply don’t whine, get angry, or fight with their siblings. They do not become addicted to phones, video games, porn, and social media. They don’t become withdrawn, depressed, or cut themselves. They don’t demonstrate the symptoms of ADHD.
I know this. With sufficient Real Love®, children acquire a vibrant reason to live—a real sense of purpose.
They become happy, responsible, and creative. Why? Because they have ENOUGH of what they need most—the love of a parent.
Your problems—and your child’s problems—were created over many years. How fortunate that solving these problems can happen much more quickly. Change takes focus and practice, but loving is certainly not more difficult than the way you and your child are living now.
As you learn to be loving, you will feel so much happier yourself. You will enjoy the privilege of watching your child naturally and freely acquire the self-worth they need to be confident, creative, and happy.
You will experience the peace of a loving home, the confidence of being a loving parent, and the joy of raising children who are loving and responsible.
What could possibly be better?
One final question:
What Not to Do When Parenting?
Don’t give up. Fully engage in the Parenting Training and give your children the happiness they deserved back when you promised it to them as tender infants.
To get started with your first Parenting Classes free, click HERE to get started.