How to Parent a Teen: The Transforming Power of Real Love®

By Greg Baer M.D.

September 3, 2024

I talked to a twelve-year-old girl, Nora, by video call. I asked her what was going on in her life.  

“It’s okay,” she said. “Miss Winters [her teacher] is being more of Miss Winters.”  

I smiled, knowing that Nora meant that the not-especially-desirable personality traits of Miss Winters were becoming more pronounced as the school year was drawing to a close.  

Nora added, “Poor baby” without the slightest trace of sarcasm. 

I was stunned by these two brief sentences.  

“My dear, I have spoken to thousands of people, and that was one of the most powerful  evidences of real growth and strength that I have ever heard. It was beautiful.”  

She shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of “No big deal, really.”  

“I repeat, beautiful. Why am I telling you this? To flatter you?” 

“No, just information.”  

“That’s right. I’m telling you so you know how well you’re doing. In past conversations, you have complained a lot. You complained about your sister, your mom, your teacher, lots of things. Everything was unfair to you. Remember?”  

“Yeah,” she said. “When our family started doing Real Love, I thought it was going to be the worst experience of my life. I thought it would take even more freedom from me. I hated it, but the more I did it, the more free I felt. It’s crazy how different my life is now. Mom and Dad are really there for me. They listen. And if I just DO my responsibilities, instead of complaining about them, I get to do whatever I want. I’m FREE.”  

“Free how?”  

“Free to be with friends or whatever. Nobody nags me, because I have my work done.”  

I looked to see if light was radiating from this child. She was peaceful and happy, a long way from where she used to be. The Real Love® and teaching of her parents had transformed their daughter. It’s really all about the parents. 

About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.