How to Assess a First Date

How to Assess a First Date 

In this "nugget" from Video Chat 243, Greg talks about how to assess a first date, the importance of being yourself, and looking for someone who is teachable about Real Love. 


What to look for on a First Date

Somebody wrote and said, “My date was kind and considerate on our first date. I gave him a little information and he seemed genuinely concerned about me, but he didn't offer advice or try to tell me what to do. My date asked me a few things about myself but not a lot and the conversation was fairly easy with no awkward pauses. All of this is pretty good, pretty good sign on a date, but he's so boring. Because all the other things are so good, I decided that well, maybe I would try another date next week.” Not a stupid idea.

Boring is not much of a problem. What you're looking for is somebody who's teachable. If somebody is teachable and willing to learn to be loving, that becomes pretty exciting all by itself.

Then she wrote again to tell me about another first date. She said, “I didn't have any great desire to see either date again, but I thought that maybe I was being too critical, and I needed to try one more time with each.”

All that Really Matters on a First Date

You're learning to be you with other people. And right now, in the early process of dating, that's all that really matters is figuring out who you are without trying to please somebody.

She concludes, “Do I need to settle for boring if all the other things are good? Writing this makes me makes my question sound stupid but if everything else is good, am I just being too selective?”

I can't tell you who to partner up with, but the number one thing is teachable, somebody who's willing to learn to genuinely love you and then you'll discover that maybe they're not so boring after all. When they worship the ground that you walk on, you'll discover that that's pretty fascinating. If he's interested in YOU, that becomes very exciting.

So, you might be making your decision too soon. Your idea of boring may be based on the ability to exchange Imitation Love, for example.

Real Love in Dating

Learn how to find the perfect partner. 




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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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