June 12

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Are You an Angry Parent?

By Greg Baer

June 12, 2020

Parenting

Do You Get Angry And Frustrated With Your Children? 

Learn How You Can Stop It 

I’m going to teach you

  • The REAL reason you become angry at your children (and it’s not what you think).
  • Why you just can’t seem to control your anger, no matter what you do.
  • What you can do to ELIMINATE—not just manage—your anger. Really.
  • How you can replace anger and frustration with genuine peace and happiness.
  • How you can become a far more loving and effective parent.

Look for the Signs of Your Frustration and Anger at Your Children

With all honesty, answer the following questions:

Resentful

Do you sometimes resent having to repeat the same instructions to your child, over and over?

Irritated

Do you find yourself irritated by the smallest things—noise, kids being late, kids arguing, messy rooms, and the endless conflict involved with bedtime, leaving for school, mealtimes, and more?

Tired

Do you get tired of them arguing with you about everything?

Avoiding

Have you gotten to the point where you just want to avoid having conversations with an “impossible child?”

Escape

Sometimes do you just want to get away?

Trouble sleeping

Do you have trouble falling asleep—or staying asleep—as you replay the conflicts of the day in your mind?

Feel like screaming

Do you often want to scream when you hear that piercing sound of whining and complaining—again?

Frustrated

Do you feel like what you’re doing is never enough for these, well, danged kids?

In living room mixed-race mother sit on couch cover face with hand feels desperate unhappy can't handle with noisy kids running near and make noise, misbehave children, exhausted mom need rest concept

Why Anger is So Harmful to You and Your Children

Your anger eliminates love and happiness like no other thing can.

Anger fuels every conflict and unpleasant interaction you have—with your children or anybody else.

Your anger inflicts the deepest wounds on your children—and on yourself.

Your anger destroys any possibility of being truly united with your partner.

Your anger isolates you from everyone around you.

Anger is So Common

Many, many courses and books teach us how to manage and control our anger, but they are almost always ineffective. WHY? Because they don’t teach us the REAL CAUSE of anger and how to eliminate it.

One problem is that anger is an emotion so common among us that we scarcely notice it anymore. It’s become like a background noise. We see it almost everywhere we look.

We’re angry:

     at our children.
     when our spouses fail to do what we want.
     at other drivers on the road, to the point that it’s like an automatic reflex.
     at people who make us wait.
     when people break their promises.
     when our bosses are demanding.
     when things are “unfair.”
     at the idiot who just took our parking space.

We’re angry a lot.

WHY are we angry? We have to understand that, or we can’t do anything about it. And it’s SO easy to BE wrong ABOUT the real reason for anger because we tend to blame it on somebody else, because of something they just did.

But that is NOT true. Other people don’t “make” us angry, and until we understand that, we’re trapped in a prison of anger—often for a lifetime.

Father yelling at son, son covers his ears.

Why Do You Get Angry?

A New Definition of Love

Why do we get angry? Let’s keep it simple. The answer is PAIN, usually a lifetime of it.

Think about how irritable you can get with a simple headache that lasts for a few hours. Pain throws off our entire emotional well-being, and anger is one common symptom of our emotional distress.

But what pain? Where’s the trauma? In the case of being beaten or tortured, the cause of pain is obvious, and it’s easy to see why we’d be angry at the person hurting us. But in MOST cases, the cause of our pain is not so obvious.

Centuries ago, millions of people, especially sailors, died of a disease called scurvy. These people had bleeding gums, tooth loss, wounds that didn’t heal, bleeding, and pain in the joints, and even bleeding in the brain and death. The physicians of the time did not know the cause or the treatment.

Eventually, we learned that scurvy was caused by a lack of Vitamin C, which is invisible to the naked eye and could not have been identified hundreds of years ago. Millions of men and women got horribly sick and died, from a lack of that single invisible molecule, Vitamin C. Without it, people starved and died, even though their bellies were full of bread and beef.

Similarly, in our day many of us are confused by the frequent anger that we feel—and that our children feel. And yet the cause is right in front of us—the lack of a single, invisible “molecule” in our emotional and spiritual diets.

In order to be happy, what we all require more than anything else is the feeling that we are loved.

Intuitively, you know that. When a baby cries, what do you do? Pick him up and HOLD him—love him. Our souls require feeling loved in just as real a way as our bodies require air and food—and Vitamin C.

But not just any kind of love will do. What we need is Real Love, where people care about our happiness unconditionally.

People love us unconditionally when they’re not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes when we don’t do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.

Many of us have never seen love like that. Instead, we’ve always had to be responsible, or smart, or beautiful, or something in order for people to like us. But that’s just trading, it’s not Real Love.

Let me say this another way: All our lives we’ve seen that when we don’t behave in ways that people like—when we’re late, or incompetent, or make mistakes—they have found it more difficult to love us. That proves that we were not loved UNCONDITIONALLY.

People always expected something in return for the “love” they gave us: respect, cooperation, gratitude. When we were disappointing in any way—bad grades, lack of cooperation, simply being inconvenient as children usually are—we saw and felt the disappointment and irritation of others. We did not feel loved unconditionally.

Every time someone was disappointed or angry with us—mostly our parents and other caregivers—we heard only “I don’t love you.”

Arm of parent scolding scared little boy.

I promise you that this is true. Think about it.

When we’re angry, we’re saying, “Look at what you did to ME—or what you didn’t do for ME.”

No, people didn’t MEAN to say that to us, but when other people feel disappointed or angry, all we hear is what THEY want—we hear them say ME-ME-ME—ignoring what WE need. That’s true for us even today as adults.

When we feel anger or disappointment or disapproval from others, we felt helpless and hurt, and one way we have learned to respond is with our own anger, which briefly makes us feel less helpless.

So, now, while WE still feel hurt and angry from a lifetime of pain—from the disappointment, criticism, and anger of others—how could we possibly love our own children unconditionally? IMPOSSIBLE.

Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love has simply perpetuated over generations. We don’t know how to love unconditionally because we’ve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.

Mother scolding scared little girl.

You're Angry and You Want to Stop It

I know you’ve tried to change your anger: books, programs, self-control, maybe counseling, maybe medications.

But you’re still angry and miserable. So are your children.

And you’re frustrated and tired.

You’ve been looking for something that works, and HERE it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.

If you are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what I’m going to share with you, predictably I see anger just disappear—replaced by peace and happiness—even after everything else has failed.

Anger is not a hopeless condition.

I’m here to help you, with all the experience I described earlier.

You are about to change the world around you, and you don’t have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating.

You’ve already proven that with your own experience.

I’m going to show you what Real Love looks like, and feels like, and teach you how to find it for yourself and to give it to your children.

HERE is the ANSWER

And THAT is the answer to your question. This is how you stop it, eliminate it. You learn how to find, feel, and give Real Love.

How can you learn all this and eliminate your anger? We offer an entire training course in unconditional love—understanding it, finding it, feeling it—and we send you additional support materials and answers to questions every week. And hundreds of those support materials have now been archived for your use anytime.

I’m committed to this all the way with you. We will work together until you see the anger in your life disappear.

Does this work? I’ve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many people—including parents—that I can tell you this with complete certainty:

When we truly feel loved unconditionally, we DO NOT feel angry or frustrated.

Happy mother and daughter.

Instead, we’re HAPPY, and then we can help our children achieve that condition too. Happy people simply don’t behave badly—like being angry, for example. Period. It seems almost like this statement claims too much. But it doesn’t.

Take my hand, and we’ll talk about what you can do—and how I will support you.

It will almost be like starting over in parenting and in life. You’re going to LEARN how to become a happy person and a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.

If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences you’ll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.

We’re about to learn how to ELIMINATE the anger and frustration in your life and in the lives of your children. Really.

Let’s get started.

Happy multiethnic family sitting on sofa laughing together.

We’re really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. We’re not looking to help you “manage” your anger. That’s not even close to being enough.

Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective person and parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. It’s a transformation.

You can do this, so let’s learn some more. In a moment you’ll begin the first lesson of the Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training—free—which will talk about how you can help your children behave more productively, and in the process, it will show you what it’s like for YOU to be more unconditionally loving.

As you lose your anger, you’ll learn how to solve the problems you have with your children.

After watching the first free lesson you'll have tools to use immediately, so you can make permanent, positive changes in your relationship with your children.

In the words of one parent: “I have spent a lifetime being angry at people and blaming them for how I felt. Now that I feel loved, my anger has just evaporated. I don’t control my anger or manage it. When I feel loved, it just goes away, without my even thinking about it.”

Want to learn more?

Eliminate confusion and conflict with your children.

  • Hi there,
    I am a single mum. My little one is 2 and a half. I have found myself loosing my trmper with her. With my voice I raise my voice like on a daily basis now and ahe is as good as gold really. I get frustrated repeating myself.

    Can u please help with any advice on how not to do so. I don't want her to think this is normal. 🙁

    • Hi Chantelle,

      Yours is an excellent question. The world would be a better place if more parents were like you and saw what they were doing, which is simply how you react to the pain of not having the love YOU need in your life. Your daughter is not bad. YOU are not bad, you're empty and confused which is painful.

      I know that Greg responded to you personally. I promise that if you take the steps that relieve your pain, your temper will naturally and easily vanish. You won't raise your voice to your daughter, or to anyone. Your new "normal" will be confidence and peace instead. We're happy to help you get there.

      Feel free to try the resources we have for you; the Facebook group pages (try Loving Parents LIVE on Facebook for sure) and participate in those groups. Some people in those groups have started online Zoom Real Love Groups. Ask if you can participate in those and see if you find some love and instruction and get what's missing in your life there. Participate with the intention of finding a friend there.

      You could listen in on some of the Free Conference Calls. It's by phone, you don't have to reveal any personal information, but you might enjoy the friendships you can make there. And you can continue to take steps, like the one you already did, to help you become happy.

      Use our other social sites for additional learning — like our YouTube channel. We have hundreds of hours of video there that you can watch.
      Twitter Facebook LinkedIn Instagram YouTube Pinterest

      Those are the free resources we offer. We also provide Real Love Coaching either by Certified Real Love Coaches, or Greg.

      You're really not alone; not in how you feel and react now, and in how you can recover from it.

      Good luck.

      Love,

      Donna

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