Understanding Is Over-Rated

By Greg Baer M.D.

April 10, 2015

Julia called and said, ā€œYouā€™ve spent a lot of time with me. Iā€™ve read the books. Iā€™ve listened to the video chats. But Iā€™m still plagued with fear a lot of the time.ā€

ā€œDo you remember how it felt when I was holding you?ā€ I asked.

ā€œYes.ā€

ā€œHow did you feel?ā€

ā€œLoved. Safe. Happy. Probably the best moment of my life.ā€

ā€œIf you simply remember that youā€™re loved, the fear leaves. Fear and love cannot co-exist. They just canā€™t. So, we donā€™t have to fight fear, only embrace the love, and then the fear just goes away.ā€

ā€œBut you canā€™t be holding me all day.ā€

ā€œNo, but you can remember my holding you, and if you trust enough, that memory can banish your fears too.ā€

ā€œI donā€™t understand how just remembering can eliminate my fear.ā€

ā€œYou donā€™t have to understand. You only have to do it. When youā€™re afraid, your head is just filled with racing thoughts, isnā€™t it?ā€

ā€œYes.ā€

ā€œSo change your thoughts. Fill your head with memories of feeling loved, and you wonā€™t have room for fear and racing thoughts.ā€

ā€œHmmm . . .ā€

ā€œImagine that you buy a computer,ā€ I said. ā€œYou want to use it. You ask me for help, and my first recommendation is that you find the cord extending from the back of the computer and plug it into the wall socket. But you respond, ā€˜I donā€™t understand how that would work. What difference would that make?ā€™ But you donā€™t have to understand, do you? Just plug it in and see what happens. Itā€™s like that here, with your remembering love instead of focusing on fear.ā€

Some things cannot be understood until theyā€™re experiencedā€”trust, love, and forgiveness, for example. We can talk about them all day, but we canā€™t know these feelings until we simply try them. What have we got to lose?

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real LoveĀ® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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