Trusting vs. Remembering

By Greg Baer M.D.

September 18, 2015

Recently I was asked, What is the difference between trusting love and remembering it? If someone is behaving insanely, how can you tell whether they are not trusting or simply not remembering they are loved?

You can’t remember the feeling of love unless you first trusted it. So trusting precedes remembering.

It is possible, however, to trust without remembering. Some people can trust immediately during the time when they are enveloped in genuine love, but the feeling is so foreign that they scarcely have a place to put it in their heads or hearts. It’s as though they have no shelf or folder for this foreign condition, so when they are distracted by the sometimes overwhelming events of life, they forget entirely the feeling of love they once had—sometimes forgetting within hours.

Let’s take the example posed above, of someone who is behaving insanely—which means only that they are protecting themselves as opposed to feeling love and happiness. Are they trusting? No. Does it mean they have never trusted? No, they could have trusted even earlier that day but during the moments of their insanity they are neither trusting nor remembering.

On occasion, when people are frightened and in pain, I remind them of love they have felt in the past—which I can do only if I know for certain that there have been occasions when they have trusted and felt love previously. Sometimes this reminder is enough to rekindle their former trust, and as a result they feel the love again. Their fear diminishes or disappears. And thus remembering and trusting can sometimes work together in a beautifully synergistic way.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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