This Won’t Work

January 15, 2016

Parenting

Not long ago I worked with a couple who were “parenting” a very troubled teenager. But every time I told them what their daughter needed, they modified the instructions in a way designed to avoid her disapproval. So, of course they never did the difficult teaching that is always required to change the course of an errant child’s life.

The child’s behavior was becoming increasingly rebellious, disturbing, and even life-threatening. On one Skype call the mother said, “This just won’t work.”

I reached over, picked up a television remote in such a way that she could see it on her computer screen, and dropped it with a loud clatter onto my computer keyboard. And then I said, with mock frustration, “This just won’t work.”

“It won’t work,” I continued, “because it’s sitting on my computer keyboard. I’m not using it in the way prescribed by the instructions, so of course it won’t work. And that’s exactly what you’re doing with Real Love and your daughter. You’re so afraid of offending your entitled, confused, and lost little girl that you’re not employing the principles that could save her life. So you’ve left her to parent herself, which has always gone badly and always will.”

I have taught Real Love to a great number of people, and the ONLY times I have seen these truths fail are the occasions when people haven’t actually applied them. Love is the most powerful force in the universe, but it works only if we learn the laws that govern it, find it, trust it, and share it with others.

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