Love + Learning = Responsibility: Raising Children Who Understand Happiness

By Greg Baer M.D.

June 4, 2024

Learn how love, trust, and a little creative discipline can transform negative behavior into personal growth. You will raise children who understand happiness.

Jessica said something unkind to her brother. Mom had loved and taught Jessica the Laws of Happiness for some time, and they had watched the Parenting Training together, so Mom knew that Jessica understood what she had done.

Remembering the Laws of Happiness 

Mom had taught Jessica with words, so now it was time for Jessica to take responsibility for REMEMBERING what she had been taught.

So, rather than repeating a principle Jessica already knew, Mom said only, “200 words.” From past experience, Jessica knew exactly what Mom meant: Jessica was to write 200 words on what she had just done, what she learned, and how she could behave differently if she wanted to be happy.

Jessica fussed a bit about having an assignment, but she also knew that her fussing wouldn’t change Mom’s mind, so she simply did as instructed. And she did it willingly, because Mom had been loving with enough consistency that Jessica TRUSTED her. Mom had created a loving and safe environment where teaching and learning became POSSIBLE.

Understanding the Laws of Happiness 

An edited version of what Jessica wrote:

"Everybody says they want a happy life, but then they do things that make that impossible. They get to the end of their lives and wonder why they’re not happy. It’s because the “little things” built up and made happiness impossible. If I want a happy life, I can’t do stuff that causes unhappiness. I can’t be snotty and unkind. I can’t be irresponsible. Happiness has laws, and if I break them, I pay the price. If I keep them, I’m happy."

Imagine, all that wisdom from a child. Twenty minutes later, she was sitting in Mom’s lap for hugs and kisses, a scene beautiful beyond description. 

And it happened because Mom had consistently provided a loving environment where Jessica could learn.

Later, Jessica sent me what she had written in her journal: “Mom was just so understanding and loving that I couldn't help but really listen to her and take in what she was saying.”

THAT is what is possible if we love and teach. Our children “can’t help but” listen to the true principles we teach. She provided her daughter with gravity in a chaotic world that behaves as though there were no direction, no up or down.

Without gravity, movement can be very difficult. Gravity is sometimes a burden, but with it, the mountains stay in place, homes are rooted, and we can predictably walk from here to there, rather than spinning off into space where we become quite lost.

With love, we provide gravity, safety, and a place for our children to learn and understand the Laws of Happiness.

You can do this, so let's get started.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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