In my years of helping people find Real Love®, I've encountered countless individuals struggling with the weight of their own expectations and fears. One conversation that particularly stands out to me was with a woman named Ilene. Her story is a perfect example of how we often trap ourselves in cycles of control and worry, thinking we're doing what's best for our loved ones. As I listened to Ilene describe her exhaustion, I was reminded of a powerful metaphor that I've found resonates with many people in similar situations. I'd like to share this interaction with you because it illustrates a transformative truth: sometimes, the key to happiness is letting go of the very things we think we need to hold onto most tightly. Let me tell you about Ilene and the boulder she was pushing uphill.
The Burdens of Fearing and Controlling
I talked to a woman, Ilene, who was utterly overwhelmed with the responsibility of controlling her children, bossing her husband around, and worrying about everything.
"You look exhausted, honey," I said.
"I'm worn out."
"Like you're pushing a boulder up a hill that never ends."
"Yeah, that's what it feels like."
"And if that weren't enough, while you're pushing, you're constantly afraid that the boulder will fall back down the hill, rolling over you and crushing you."
"That is exactly how I feel."
"I don't see how you could feel much worse, do you?"
"Not really."
Quit Controlling and Trust
"So let it go. Quit controlling. Start trusting people for the first time.
"Trust me to love you. Trust a few other friends to love you.
"Trust that your husband is trying to love you, and stop controlling how he does it and how quickly he learns.
"Trust that if you love and teach your children, they'll be more responsible and more loving and much happier than if you did all that controlling stuff that's killing you and them."
"I don't know if I can do it."
"You won't be alone. I'll help you. I believe you can do it. And it works."
"Okay, why not?"
Ilene quit pushing the boulder. She quit fearing and controlling. It took time, and she made lots of mistakes, but her life changed.
Now she laughs at what she used to do. After finding real happiness, all that work looked kind of silly.
