The Burdens of Fearing and Controlling
I talked to a woman, Ilene, who was utterly overwhelmed with the responsibility of controlling her children, bossing her husband around, and worrying about everything.
"You look exhausted, honey," I said.
"I'm worn out."
"Like you're pushing a boulder up a hill that never ends."
"Yeah, that's what it feels like."
"And if that weren't enough, while you're pushing, you're constantly afraid that the boulder will fall back down the hill, rolling over you and crushing you."
"That is exactly how I feel."
"I don't see how you could feel much worse, do you?"
Quit Controlling and Trust
"So let it go. Quit controlling. Start trusting people for the first time.
"Trust me to love you. Trust a few other friends to love you.
"Trust that your husband is trying to love you, and stop controlling how he does it and how quickly he learns.
"Trust that if you love and teach your children, they'll be more responsible and more loving and much happier than if you did all that controlling stuff that's killing you and them."
"I don't know if I can do it."
"You won't be alone. I'll help you. I believe you can do it. And it works."
"Okay, why not?"
Ilene quit pushing the boulder. She quit fearing and controlling. It took time, and she made lots of mistakes, but her life changed.
Now she laughs at what she used to do. After finding real happiness, all that work looked kind of silly.
Want to learn more?
Eliminate confusion and conflict with your children.