“I’m okay”

By Greg Baer M.D.

December 19, 2011

Nicole had bounced from one man to another all her life, almost never living without a pathologic relationship. On one day when she called me, she was between men. I asked her how she was doing.

"I'm okay," she said.

We hear this answer a lot when we ask people how they're doing, and we tend to answer in the same way when asked that question. But rarely is that the truth. What we really mean by "okay" is that nothing terrible is going on around us, we're not being inconvenienced or threatened in that particular moment, our hair is not on fire. When we say we're "okay," we're not describing ourselves, only our environment.

Suppose we design an airplane whose wings are strong enough to stay attached to the body of the plane only during level flight and with no wind. Is the plane okay? Hardly. At the first turn, or the first gust of wind, the wings will fall off, so even during level flight without turbulence--when the wings are still attached--the plane is not okay.

Most of us have wings that remained attached only when there is no stress. When people are nice to us, when our finances are stable, and when we don't feel otherwise threatened, our wings appear to be firmly fixed, but the moment we experience turbulence, they fall right off.

Real power in life comes from being able to continue flight when the wind blows and when sharp turns are required. With sufficient Real Love, we have that power. We can choose to be loving and happy regardless of our circumstances, and that is when we're truly "okay."

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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