As I counsel with people, perhaps the most common word I hear in the beginning is BUT, which is followed a recitation of what they think, what theyāve always done, and more. Sylvia, for example, described to me the nightmare of her marriage and children, and when I began to speak, she said, āButāā
I interrupted. āYouāre about to tell me how youāve always done this, and how my way wonāt work.ā
āWell . . .ā
āYes, in other words. Youāve had forty years to try it āyour way,ā have you not?ā
āWell, I guess so.ā
āAfter forty years, would you call your way successful?ā
āI suppose not.ā
We struggle so hard to protect what weāve learned and invested emotionally and otherwise for a lifetime, even if the end result is not desirable. Ironically, weāre not even living life āour way.ā Weāre living a way of life we were taughtāby parents, teachers, family members, and others. Weāre actually living THEIR way. What a waste to continue with ANY way that doesnāt work.
Frank Sinatra sang a ballad with the refrain, āI did it my way,ā and almost uniformly people refer to the message of that song with pride or envy. We want to do it āour way,ā as though that course would make us some kind of hero, even though our path has led only to unhappiness.
I choose to ādo itā the loving way, the peaceful way, the happy way. Along that path is infinitely more joy.
Replace your anger & confusion with peace and happiness.
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