My Child is Failing School, What Can I Do?

By Greg Baer M.D.

December 26, 2022

This will be different from EVERYTHING you've ever read or heard about your child and school performance. Take your time reading it.

Are you constantly saying stuff like this:

  • Why does my child struggle so much in school, especially with all the help he gets from me, tutors, and special programs?
  • I hate this constant nagging and pushing.
  • This kid is smart enough to do anything he wants at home. Why does he suddenly become stupid at school?
  • Life is going to be hard for her if she doesn’t snap out of it, and I’m worried.

You’re not alone. 53% of public school kids nationwide FAIL the MINIMUM competency tests for math, to pick just one subject.

What do you need to know about your child, and what can you do? Did you know that kids naturally WANT to do well in school? The primary reason they fail is that they’re missing one thing, and I will teach you what that is and how you can give it to them.

When you really learn all that, they’ll NATURALLY want to do better in school. Oh, and they’ll be happy, cooperative, and responsible—and your relationship with them will become far better. Imagine that.

Why is my child failing school?

We all want a quick fix—who doesn’t?—that involves a short list of things to do, but that never, ever works with significant problems. What I’m offering always works—not kidding—but only if the parent is committed to doing it. It involves much greater understanding and learning on the part of the parent—you—and right here is where most parents quit. We want it to be easier, but we have to be willing to learn before we can help our children. I hope you keep going and find the relief—even the joy—that you are looking for.

If a drunk driver runs into another car, is DRIVING the problem? No, the problem began with the first drink and all the emotional problems that came long before that. Your child’s problem is not about school. It’s not about ADHD. It’s not about special study programs. So what IS the problem?

Many studies have proven that what every child needs most is . . . wait for it . . . LOVE. But not just any kind of love will do. This love must be unconditional, which means free of disappointment or irritation. To a child, this feeling is as essential as food or air.

And THIS is the problem that we’re not seeing. THIS is why our children are having problems in school—and in other ways. They are not getting the unconditional love, or Real Love®, from US that they MUST have in order to be happy. Expecting a child without sufficient Real Love to perform well at school is exactly like expecting optimum performance from an athlete who hasn’t eaten for several days.

Right now you’re thinking, “But I DO love my children.” Yes, we do love them as well as we can, but we were not loved unconditionally ourselves, nor did anyone teach us how to give it. This Real Love® is completely without disappointment or irritation. It is intentional, personal, and consistent.

Children without sufficient Real Love are in pain, so they CANNOT focus on intellectual performance at school. They don’t have the strength or interest to learn. Your child does not have a “school problem.” Your child is starving and in pain. Yes, a crazy-new notion, but this is the beginning of a solution that consistently works.

Take the first step right now. Say out loud these words: “My child is not doing well in school, and despite my best efforts, we’re not succeeding, so there MUST be something I need to learn before I can help my child.” There, you’ve begun. And now we’ll learn even more about what you can do.

Why is my smart child failing school?

You have asked yourself, “I KNOW my child is smart enough, so why is school a problem? How can a smart child fail?”

One pediatrician specializing in child learning wrote a list of the behaviors of a child in pain—physical or emotional. On the opposite side of the page he listed all the behaviors exhibited by a child failing in school. The two lists were IDENTICAL.

Again, children—with rare exceptions—are not having “school problems.” No, they’re starving and in pain, and they’re so distracted that they cannot focus on school performance.

I recently worked with a teenage girl who wanted to get into a “good” college, but despite a great deal of studying, tutoring, and test taking, her SAT scores remained mediocre. Within WEEKS of her parents learning to unconditionally love her, her score increased by THREE HUNDRED points. That’s a lot.

In her own words, “When I felt loved, I didn’t feel anxious anymore. I could focus. I could retain what I read. I wanted to learn. It became fun, and the test score was just a reflection of that.”

How to Help a Child Failing in School

You have already learned that the usual solutions for school problems—studying, tutoring, nagging, and special educational plans—don’t work well, nor do they work for long.

Learn how to find the Real Love your child needs more than anything. Learn how to give it to your child in a consistent and reliable way. Learn what happens when your child is happy and free from pain.

Watch your child’s school performance improve naturally—not with pushing, nagging, and manipulating. Watch your child turn to you more for affection. Allow the tears to fall as you see your child feel loved and even become more loving to his siblings.

When a child is not in pain, she becomes who she was meant to be. She becomes herself: curious, creative, cooperative, involved, and connected. She becomes more responsible in ways you can’t imagine until you see it happen. How could you want more for your children than that?

Learn how here.

How to help a child failing in school.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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