I Don’t Keep Old Diapers—How to Forgive Yourself and Others

By Greg Baer M.D.

March 30, 2021

Over a period of several weeks, as I was teaching Markus the principles of Real Love, he was feeling worse and worse about himself. He could not let go of his guilt.

"I have made so many mistakes," he said, "with my wife, my children, at work—everywhere."

"When you were a baby, did you poop in your diapers?" I asked.

"Yes," he said with a quizzical expression.

"So, now do you hunt through the local landfill, hoping you can find those old diapers, so you can take them home for display?"

"No. Disgusting."

"I agree. I don't keep old diapers either. I throw them away. They couldn't benefit me, and they don't represent what I'm capable of now. I do the same with old mistakes. As I learn, I throw the mistakes in the landfill. They don't benefit me, and they don't represent who I am now, with new knowledge and capabilities."

It's foolish to hang on to old mistakes, and as we let them go—recognizing the futility of keeping them—we naturally forgive ourselves. It's far more productive simply to learn from our mistakes and move on past them. We can do the same with the mistakes that others have made with us.

As we harbor resentment, we hang on to the old diapers of others and make new dirty diapers of our own. The past is beneficial only as we learn from it, never as we ruminate endlessly over it, experiencing the guilt and anger that can only destroy our happiness.

PCSD

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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