Why Isn’t Real Love Everywhere?

By Greg Baer M.D.

May 27, 2011

Someone wrote to me, "If Real Love is so essential, then why doesn't it just occur naturally everywhere? And why has it taken this long for Real Love to be discovered? And why is it difficult to learn?"

Just because something is good—or even essential—doesn't mean that it's easily acquired. Certainly, water is essential to life, but in many places in the world, its supply is quite limited.

Similarly, we all need Real Love, but usually, we have to cultivate it in our lives. Real Love results from conscious choices, while other attitudes and behaviors—like fear and Getting and Protecting Behaviors, for example—explode reflexively in the presence of pain, flourishing like weeds.

If you follow the laws of Real Love—if you tell the truth about yourself and consciously choose to avoid Getting and Protecting Behaviors—you will find the unconditional love you seek. In short, Real Love is natural and predictable, but it requires more care than Imitation Love and Getting and Protecting Behaviors. That's why love sometimes seems to be elusive or overwhelmed by pain and its consequences.

As to the last question, Why has it taken this long for Real Love to be discovered? Real Love has existed from the beginning of time, but for most of us, it simply gets lost in the very loud and fatally distracting background noise of pain and fear. All that matters now is our commitment to find it and share it.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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