I couldn’t begin to count the number of times people have texted, email, Skyped, and told me in person about some difficult decision or situation facing them in the moment. They analyze it, agonize over it, worry about it, blame everybody for it, blame themselves, feel small and worthless, and more.
On occasion, I have asked, “What would you like to do here? Would you like to learn, grow, and be happy? Or would you like to twist yourself in knots about this decision?”
Most people choose the former, and then a course of action becomes obvious: choose, observe, learn, and repeat.
First, Choose. Another way of saying this is, make a decision and then ACT on it. A decision without action is just a vain thought—even a fantasy. People tend to want to learn and grow and be happy without taking action, and that simply is not how the Laws of Happiness work. We have to MOVE.
Second, Observe. After you make your choice and take action, observe the results of your action—how did it make you feel, did it make you grow in confidence. While it is wise to observe the reactions of other people to what you do, remember that their reactions are about them—often involving the experiences of a lifetime—not you.
Third, Learn. After observing your choice and behavior, integrate all that into what you know. Expand your mind with what you did. Learn what worked well and felt good.
Fourth, Repeat. After learning from your first choice, almost always there is some modification to make in your present course, or you can use the learning for a choice to be made some time in the future.
As I’ve watched people take these four steps on a great many occasions, I have observed that their steadiness in moving forward has led to consistent learning and success.
Notice that in the four outlined steps there is no place for worry, fear, fussing, second-guessing, panic, or victimhood. These conditions or feelings are not steps toward learning, and can even make learning impossible.
Life gets a lot simpler—and a great deal happier—when you choose, observe, learn, and repeat.
Learn how to choose peace and happiness.
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