How You Can Help Siblings Stop Fighting and Arguing
Learn what you can do to ELIMINATEānot just manageāthe conflicts. Really
Step 1: Watch this video.
Step 2: Click the button below to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.
In the video above I taught you:
- The REAL reason your children fight and argue (and it's not what you think).
- Why you just can't seem to stop the endless bickering, no matter what you do.
- What you can do to ELIMINATEānot just manageāthe conflict. Really.
- How YOU can replace arguing and fighting with genuine peace and happiness in your child.
Do You Have a Children Who Fight and Argue All the Time?
Look for the Signs.
In many families the level of conflict has been high enough for so long that arguing has become NORMAL. Itās the NORM, like a background noise, and once that happens, quarreling often isnāt even consciously NOTICED anymore.
Once we accept some level of arguing as normal, weāre no longer able to do something about, so weāre doomed to live with it.
If you would like your family to achieve a level of peace and freedom that you can scarcely imagine, begin by looking for the SIGNS of unacceptable arguing. Look for the following indications that you have a problem:
Competing
Do your children argue, quarrel, and compete over the most insignificant and ridiculous things? Do they act mortally injured as they say things like (short version of the infinite list): āI wanted to sit there.ā āThatās mine.ā āStop doing that.ā āYouāre stupid.ā āYou touched me first.ā āItās my turn.ā āI wanted that.ā āGive me that.ā āShut up.ā
Hitting
Do they hit each other? Or poke? Or tickle when itās not wanted? Or push? Or bump as they walk byāaccidentally, of course? These are physical and emotional assaults, andāagaināthey pile up.
Procrastinating
Do they put everything off until later?
Looking for arguments
Do they go LOOKING for their sibling to start an argument?
Bored
Left to themselves, do they create their own activities, like reading, or are they bored and fall back on video games or demanding attention from a sibling?
Fidgeting
Do they fidget a lot, as though uncomfortable in some ill-defined way?
Frustrated
Do they get frustrated with doing things and just quit in the middle of jobs or homework or even games?
Whining
Do they often speak with a whiney tone of voice? Itās not unlikely that this is so common that you have come to accept it as normal.
Don't do chores
Do they reliably do chores around the house appropriate for their age? (Real chores, not just occasionally emptying a garbage can) Weāll be talking about what this has to do with arguing.
Teasing
Do they tease each other endlessly? An individual tease may seem like a small, but they pile up and create a destructive effect that we rarely recognize.
Quarreling
Do they quarrel frequently or complain to you about what is āfair?ā
Disorganized
Do they often have difficulty organizing tasks and activities?
Worry
Do they worry? This is a big one, so Iāll repeat it: Does your child just have a look of worry on his or her face much of the time? There might be words, there might not.
Interrupting
Do they interrupt people and activities in class and at home?
Distracted
Is it difficult to get their full attention when you speak to them?
Anxious
Do your children seem anxious and stressed even when theyāre not actually arguing? Conflict creates enormous emotional pain in a child, for reasons weāll be discussing.
Itās no fun at all being around kids who are constantly in some form of contention. The tension of their arguments fills the house and drives out all the joy.
And you donāt have to live like that.
There IS a Solutionā
How to Help Children Who Fight and Argue with Each Other
Iām here to tell you that there IS a solution, and weāre not talking about controlling or minimizing the arguing. Thatās not nearly enough.
Weāre talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being.
Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.
For a long time now, youāve been looking for ways to help your child. I greatly admire what youāre doing right now. Youāre looking for answers, youāre trying to love and help your child, which is way more than most parents do.
And finally, youāre in the right place.
You've Been Desperately Looking for Help with Your Arguing Children
Itās like youāve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and nowāalmost unbelievablyāitās here. This is the ship youāve been looking for.
How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children who argue and fight with each other. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.
Iām not trying to sell you something here that weāre GOING to do. You donāt have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, Iāll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that youāve never known.
I repeat: Iām not here to tell you ABOUT what Iām offering you. Iām beginning now to GIVE you what you need. Itās my gift to you.
What a relief to know that right now youāre exactly where youāve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child.
And Iām going to help you do that.
Your Children Fight with Each Other
and You Want to Do Something About It
I know youāve tried to change things: explaining, lecturing, attempts to put out the emotional fires, certainly nagging, reading books, yelling, controlling, maybe counseling. But youāve still got that endless arguing going on.
And youāre frustrated and tired.
Youāve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.
You would not be here unless two things were true:
If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what Iām going to share with you, predictably I see children stop arguing and fighting. The contention just goes away, and instead they become happyāeven after everything else has failed.
You become happy too.
It is NOT hopeless.
Iām here to help you, and Iāll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the worldāand much more.
You are about to change the world around you, and you donāt have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. Youāve already proven that with your own experience.
What You Will Learn That You Donāt Already Know
So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you about children arguing that you donāt already know?
What am I going to say that you havenāt already read in a parenting book or heard from a program somewhere?
This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing itāover and over.
To see the answer, letās start with an infant. When an infant criesāother than from obvious physical paināwhat does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. Youāre pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED.
Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if youāre genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.
But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. Theyāre adorable.
But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .
and they argue and fight with their siblings and with others. They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really donāt know what to do. Usually we try to control their behaviorāand we might even temporarily succeedābut it doesnāt last, and we end up with unhappy and badly behaved kids.
Weāre not so happy either.
Loving Your Children Unconditionally
Let me say this another way:
If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we donāt know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
If we love them unconditionally, weād love them no matter what.
But if loving them becomes more difficult when theyāre difficult when they behave badly, our love is conditional.
Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the āloveā we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, which does not include the symptoms of ADHD.
The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment
Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. Thatās what unconditional love means.
But we really donāt know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.
Deep inside, you know that what Iām saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you donāt. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when weāre angry at other people, weāre all saying, āLook at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.ā
In anger, weāre focused on OURSELVESāMe-Me-Meāand in that moment other peopleānotably our childrenāhear only four words, āI donāt love you.ā When weāre angry, weāre far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.
I repeat:
When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."
I promise you that this is true.
No, we donāt MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? āI donāt love youā is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at youāthink about it honestlyāand itās what our children hear and feel when weāre angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.
Itās little wonder that they respond with their own anger.
Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.
But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionallyāwhich means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditionsāso how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.
Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We donāt know how to love unconditionally because weāve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.
Childhood and Teenagers Arguing is
a Reaction to Not Being Loved Unconditionally
For emphasis, Iām going to say all this in a slightly different way:
When children behave badlyāwhen they argue and fightāit is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionallyāloved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.
This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the worldāat the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, ANGER, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.
THERE is the proofāin our addiction to all those behaviorsāthat overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.
Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally
Don't Argue with Each Other
Iāve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty:
When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT have any desire to argue and fight with others.
Instead theyāre HAPPYāand responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.
With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED to be angry and take it out on others. Happy people donāt behave like that. Period. Full stop.
Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children Stop Arguing
How many times have you wondered why a child isnāt hearing what youāre saying? Thereās an answer, and here it is: Because when youāre irritated, your child hears only āI donāt love you,ā and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.
So THAT is what I'll be teaching you:
How to LOVE your children unconditionally,
which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.
If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you āwhat youāre really sayingābecause theyāre not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the āI donāt love youā message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anythingālike how to be loving and responsible themselves.
And if they have that powerful trifectaāthey feel loved, and they are loving and responsibleāthey are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.
Your Angry Children Can Learn to Be Happy
Your children can learn that being happy is way better than arguing and fighting.
Take my hand, and weāll talk about what you can doāand how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. Youāre going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.
If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences youāll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.
Imagine it:
no more arguing or fighting or competingānone,
no more ugly words,
no more tension in the family,
Itās astonishing to see and to feel.
Our children are not bad. Weāre not bad.
We just have not known how to love and teach them.
Loving and Teaching Eliminates Arguing in Children
What weāre doing with our kids now to stop the arguing IS NOT WORKING.
Loving and teaching them does.
Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors youāre dealing with, not if youāre really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.
Youāre about to learn how to ELIMINATE the behaviors in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.
I make you another promise:
Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else youāve done as a parent.
Transforming, Not Managing Your Children
Weāre really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. Weāre not looking to make your children more manageable. Thatās not even close to being enough.
Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. Itās a transformation.
If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, IāM fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacularāas we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.
There is not a single thing youāll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.
You can do this, so let's get started.
Click the button belowāitās freeāto begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.