You Can Help Your Child Overcome an Eating Disorder
Learn what you can do to ELIMINATEānot just manageāthe self destruction. Really.
Step 1: Watch this video.
Step 2: Click the button below to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.
Do You Have a Child with an Eating Disorder?
In the video above I taught you:
- The REAL reason your child has an eating disorder (and it's not what you think).
- Why you just can't seem to help him or her be happy, no matter what you do.
- What you can do to ELIMINATEānot just manageāthe self destruction. Really.
- How you can replace the anxiety and eating disorders with genuine peace and happiness in your child.
Eating Disorders
Over the years, many conditions have been included in the term āeating disorder,ā including:
- Anorexia
- Bulimia
- Exercise bulimia
- Binge eating
- Many other forms, less common
A harmful eating habit is NEVER an isolated condition. It is always an expression of severe emotional pain, and other behaviors are inevitably involved: depression, personality disorders, impaired relationships, and more.
Look for the Signs
Dramatic weight loss
Have you seen a dramatic weight loss in your child or teen?
Compare photos
Have you compared multiple photos from the present to those of a year or two agoāpreferably those in a bathing suit, or high-resolution close-ups?
Dresses in layers
Does your child dress in layers to hide weight loss or to stay warm?
Feels cold
Do they complain of feeling cold more than other people do?
Preoccupied with Weight
Is he or she preoccupied with weight, food, calories, fat grams, and dieting?
Denies hunger
Does she deny feeling hungry, especially at mealtimes?
Delay swallowing
Do they move food around on the plate and delay actually swallowing, so that they have eaten little by the end of the meal?
Pessimism
You might sense pessimism, that nothing works out for them. You might hear, āWhy try?ā
Perfection
Do they have to do a jobāor even play a gameāperfectly, because they canāt live with making mistakes?
Social anxiety
Do you see their uneasiness being around other people? Do they avoid gatherings?
Peer depression
Do they talk often about friends or peers who are depressed, anxious, or suicidal?
Physical symptoms
Do you see dry skin? Do you hear about physical symptoms, like stomach cramps, constipation, loss of menstruation, dizziness, sleep problems?
Unable to concentrate
Do you see an inability to concentrate?
Poor self-esteem
Do they have poor self-esteem, saying things like, āIām just a loserā?
Delays swallowing
Do they move food around on the plate and delay actually swallowing, so that they have eaten little by the end of the meal?
Mood changes
Have you seen recent mood changes like depression or anxiety?
Depression
Do you know the signs of childhood depression? Or teenage depression?
Feels "fat"
Do they make frequent comments about feeling āfatā despite weight loss?
Isolated
Do they spend a lot of time alone?
Worry
Does your child just have a look of worry on his or her face much of the time? There might be words, there might not.
Rigid exercise regimen
Does she maintain an excessive, rigid exercise regimen ā despite weather, fatigue, illness, or injury?
Teeth
Have you asked your dentist specifically to look for any signs of unusual wear on your childās teeth?
Depressed
You might hear them talk about how bad things are in the world, or in his or her own life.
Stressed
Do they feel pressured to take on greater and greater burdens, until the stress just crushes them?
Feelings of guilt
You might see more than usual feelings of guilt or worthlessnessāperhaps expressed in the common phrase, āI canāt do anything right.ā
Controls
Does she tend to control the environment around her?
The Serious Nature of Eating Disorders
You MUST look for the signs, because without close attention from observant parents, many of these children and teens come across as ānormalā kids who are just āfinding themselves.ā
Without a proper diagnosis, these kids donāt get help, and their problems multiply in school, relationships, and careers.
The eating disorder itself also tends to worsen over time. They donāt just āgrow out of it,ā and it can be fatal.
Suppose you have seen the signs above, or you already know that your child has an eating disorder. Do you feel confused and helpless?
Are you frustrated at the hours of talking to your child, the visits to the therapist, perhaps in-patient treatment?
And itās all accompanied by your blaming yourself for the obvious misery. Are you not tired of it?
Are you not desperate to help your child?
There IS a Solutionā
How to Help a Child with an Eating Disorder
There IS a solution, and weāre not talking about controlling or minimizing the symptoms. Thatās not nearly enough.
Weāre talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being again.
In most cases, what you get is a child much happier than they were before they began to fixate on food and body image.
Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.
For a long time now, youāve been looking for ways to help your child. I greatly admire what youāre doing right now. Youāre looking for answers ā youāre trying to love and help your child ā which is way more than most parents do.
And finally, youāre in the right place.
You've Been Desperately Looking for Help with Your Child
Itās like youāve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and nowāalmost unbelievablyāitās here. This is the ship youāve been looking for.
How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children who are hurting themselves with the way they see and respond to food.
Iām not trying to sell you something here that weāre GOING to do. You donāt have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, Iāll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that youāve never known.
I repeat: Iām not here to tell you ABOUT what Iām offering you. Iām beginning now to GIVE you what you need. Itās my gift to you.
What a relief to know that right now youāre exactly where youāve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child.
And Iām going to help you do that.
Your Child has an Eating Disorder
and You Want to Do something About It
I know youāve tried to change things: Youāve talked and lectured. Youāve watched their every move. Youāve read books and tried programs. Youāve begged and nagged. Maybe youāve taken them to counseling, maybe in-patient treatment. But your childās pattern with food persists.
And youāre frustrated and tired.
Youāve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.
You would not be here unless two things were true:
If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what Iām going to share with you, predictably I see children abandon their fixation on food. Instead they become happyāeven after everything else has failed.
You become happy too.
It is NOT hopeless.
Iām here to help you, and Iāll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the worldāand much more.
You are about to change the world around you, and you donāt have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. Youāve already proven that with your own experience.
What You Will Learn That You Donāt Already Know
So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you about childhood or teenage eating disorders that you donāt already know?
What am I going to say that you havenāt already read in a parenting book or heard from a program somewhere?
This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing itāover and over.
To see the answer, letās start with an infant. When an infant criesāother than from obvious physical paināwhat does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. Youāre pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED.
Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if youāre genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.
But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. Theyāre adorable.
But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .
and sometimes they give up their fight with the world and turn inward to fixate on food, which is just a way of temporarily numbing their pain. They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really donāt know what to do. Usually we try to control their behaviorāand we might even temporarily succeedābut it doesnāt last, and we end up with kids who are still anxious and unhappy.
Weāre not so happy either.
Loving Your Children Unconditionally
Let me say this another way:
If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we donāt know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
If we love them unconditionally, weād love them no matter what.
But if loving them becomes more difficult when they refuse to eat or make themselves vomit, for example, and keep using harmful behaviorsāour love is conditional.
Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the āloveā we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, which does not include anorexia, bulimia, or other related problems.
The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment
Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. Thatās what unconditional love means.
But we really donāt know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.
Deep inside, you know that what Iām saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you donāt. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when weāre angry at other people, weāre all saying, āLook at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.ā
In anger, weāre focused on OURSELVESāMe-Me-Meāand in that moment other peopleānotably our childrenāhear only four words, āI donāt love you.ā When weāre angry, weāre far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.
I repeat:
When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."
I promise you that this is true.
No, we donāt MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? āI donāt love youā is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at youāthink about it honestlyāand itās what our children hear and feel when weāre angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.
Itās little wonder that they respond with their own anger.
Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.
But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionallyāwhich means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditionsāso how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.
Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We donāt know how to love unconditionally because weāve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.
Childhood and Teenage Eating Disorders are Reactions to Not Being Loved Unconditionally
For emphasis, Iām going to say all this in a slightly different way:
When children behave badlyāwhen they have an unhealthy way of using food, for exampleāit is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionally. They do not feel loved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.
This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the worldāat the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, anger, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.
THERE is the proofāin our addiction to all those behaviorsāthat overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.
Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally Don't Have Eating Disorders
Iāve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT need the artificial control or pain relief of starving, purging, or binging.
Instead theyāre HAPPYāand responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.
With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED for kids to use food in an unhealthy way, or have low self-esteem, or otherwise behave badly. Happy people donāt behave badlyāeating disorders being just one example. Period. Full stop.
It seems almost like this statement is too broad, too much. Itās not.
Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children with their Eating Disorder and other Self-Harming Behaviors
How many times have you wondered why a child isnāt hearing what youāre saying? Thereās an answer, and here it is: Because when youāre irritated, your child hears only āI donāt love you,ā and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.
So THAT is what I'll be teaching you:
How to LOVE your children unconditionally,
which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.
If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you āwhat youāre really sayingābecause theyāre not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the āI donāt love youā message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anythingālike how to be loving and responsible themselves.
And if they have that powerful trifectaāthey feel loved, and they are loving and responsibleāthey are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.
Your Children Can Learn to Be Happy
Your children can learn that being happy is way more fulfilling than numbing their pain or gaining brief moments of control, which they experience with eating disorders.
Take my hand, and weāll talk about what you can doāand how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. Youāre going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.
If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences youāll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.
Imagine it:
no more starving or throwing up
no more lying about food intake,
no more hiding their body,
no more sadness,
no more withdrawal from the family,
no more loss of interest in everything,
no more expressions of futility and giving up,
no more ugly words,
no more tension in the family.
Our children are not bad. Weāre not bad.
We just have not known how to love and teach them.
Loving and Teaching Eliminates Eating Disorders in Children
What weāre doing to help our kids with their anxiety IS NOT WORKING.
Loving and teaching them does.
Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors youāre dealing with, not if youāre really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.
Youāre about to learn how to ELIMINATE the anxiety, stress and other conditions in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.
I make you another promise:
Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else youāve done as a parent.
Transforming, Not Managing Your Children
Weāre really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. Weāre not looking to make your children more manageable. Thatās not even close to being enough.
Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. Itās a transformation.
If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, IāM fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacularāas we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.
There is not a single thing youāll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.
You can do this, so let's get started.
Click the button belowāitās freeāto begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.