How You Can Help Your Child Who Is Bullied
Learn what you can do to ELIMINATE—not just manage—the bullying. Really.
Step 1: Watch this video:
Step 2: Click the button to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.
Do You Have a Child Who is Being Bullied?
In the video above I taught you:
- The REAL reason your child is bullied and anxious (and it's not what you think).
- Why you just can't seem to help the bullying and the fear stop, no matter what you do.
- What you can do to ELIMINATE—not just manage—the bullying. Really.
- How you can replace fear and feeling worthless with genuine peace and happiness in your child.
Look for these Signs and Learn What They Mean
Bullying is not a small matter:
- It is HIGHLY likely that your child is being bullied, usually at school but also elsewhere.
- It’s estimated that about half of kids in range of 9-15 are bullied regularly.
- It is KNOWN that on any given day, one out of five kids who miss school are absent because of their terror of being bullied—not because of sickness or appointments somewhere else.
Very few parents can even answer this critical question: Is your child being bullied?
Why can’t they? Why don’t they know?
Because most bullied children don’t talk about it—WON’T talk about it.
- They’re embarrassed.
- They’re afraid.
- They feel small.
- They’re afraid that anybody they tell will just make things worse for them.
So YOU have the responsibility of identifying this problem. You have to look for the signs and symptoms of bullying. You have to be very aware.
You have to be able to answer these questions:
Reluctant to go to school
Do you have a child who is reluctant to go to school or certain other functions but isn’t quite clear about why? Often they say, “I just don’t want to go.”
Little eye contact
Does your child have difficulty maintaining eye contact with people, possibly even you?
Unexplained physical symptoms
Do they have unexplained physical symptoms in the morning before school?
Do they rarely—if ever—have a friend over to play at your house?
The look on their face
Have you directly brought up the subject of bullying and asked them if anybody treats them unkindly at school or anywhere else? You’ll see the answer in their face before you hear it in words.
Do they worry? This is a big one, so I’ll repeat it: Does your child just have a look of worry on his or her face much of the time? There might be words, there might not.
Feelings of worthlessness
You might see or hear feelings of worthlessness—perhaps said in the common phrase, “I can’t do anything right.”
Does your child lack confidence?
If other children come to your house, does your child tend to disappear?
Looks small and afraid
Does he or she just look small and afraid? That’s a tough question for a parent to consider.
Pauses in answering
Have you ASKED them what they like and don’t like about school? If they even pause in answering, something is wrong that they have avoided discussing with you.
Have you directly brought up the subject of cyber bullying and asked them if people have ever talked about them in a critical or unkind way on Facebook or any other form of social media? You’ll see the answer in their face.
Do they mostly spend time by themselves?
Do you see a depressed mood, or loss of interest in their usual activities, or decreased energy?
If you see any of this—or a lot of it—the picture can be pretty scary.
Children who are bullied are a cause for immediate action. They’re difficult and hard to reach. It’s like your child is slowly disappearing into an isolated world of fear.
Such children feel small, insignificant, incapable of trying new things, and unable to have friends. They feel less than worthwhile, and this can become crippling, not just in childhood but by establishing a pattern of fear that continues throughout life.
These kids have a greater risk of no friends, loneliness, anxiety, aggressive tendencies, poor self-esteem, depression, suicide, lower academic achievement, and under-development of their careers.
Almost as an aside, children and teens who ARE the bullies have emotional problems just as serious as the suffering of the children they bully, which we’ll discuss in the Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training.
And again, most parents are unaware of the bullying. If you are aware, oh, how you want to be able to help your child, but you just don’t know how. What would you give to have a happy child?
There IS a Solution—How to Help a Child
Who is Bullied and Anxious
I'm here to tell you that there IS a solution, and we’re not talking about controlling or minimizing the symptoms of anxiety, or making the bullying less. That’s not nearly enough
We’re talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being again.
Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.
For a long time now, you’ve been looking for ways to help your child with their pain and fear, which are underlying problems with children who are bullied.
I greatly admire what you’re doing right now. You’re looking for answers, you’re trying to love and help your child, which is way more than most parents do.
And finally, you’re in the right place.
You've Been Desperately Looking for Help with Your Bullied Child
It’s like you’ve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and now—almost unbelievably—it’s here. This is the ship you’ve been looking for.
How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children talk about the bullying, and to find solutions—in the parents, in the world, and in the strength of the child. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.
I’m not trying to sell you something here that we’re GOING to do. You don’t have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, I’ll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that you’ve never known.
I repeat: I’m not here to tell you ABOUT what I’m offering you. I’m beginning now to GIVE you what you need. It’s my gift to you, whether you continue with me or not.
What a relief to know that right now you’re exactly where you’ve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child.
And I’m going to help you do that.
Your Child is Being Bullied
and You Want to Do something About It
I know you’ve tried to change things: You’ve encouraged your child, you’ve talked to teachers, you’ve read articles and books. Maybe you’ve seen a counselor. But your child’s fear continues—as does the bullying.
And you’re frustrated and tired.
You’ve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.
You would not be here unless two things were true:
If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what I’m going to share with you, predictably I see children stop being bullied and stop being afraid. The fear just goes away, and instead they become happy—even after everything else has failed.
You become happy too.
It is NOT hopeless.
I’m here to help you, and I’ll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the world—and much more.
You are about to change the world around you, and you don’t have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. You’ve already proven that with your own experience.
What You Will Learn That You Don’t Already Know
So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you about bullying that you don’t already know?
What am I going to say that you haven’t already read in a parenting book or heard from a program somewhere?
This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing it—over and over.
To see the answer, let’s start with an infant. When an infant cries—other than from obvious physical pain—what does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. You’re pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED.
Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if you’re genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.
But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. They’re adorable.
But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .
and sometimes they become afraid and lack confidence, which makes them obvious targets for bullies. They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really don’t know what to do. Usually we try to control their behavior, or the behavior of the bully—and we might even temporarily succeed—but it doesn’t last, and we end up with kids who are still intimidated and afraid.
We’re not so happy either.
Loving Your Children Unconditionally
Let me say this another way:
If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we don’t know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
If we love them unconditionally, we’d love them no matter what.
But if loving them becomes more difficult when they’re difficult when they behave badly, our love is conditional.
Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the “love” we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, including some ability to talk about and deal with their fears and with the bullying of others.
The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment
Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. That’s what unconditional love means.
But we really don’t know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.
Deep inside, you know that what I’m saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you don’t. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when we’re angry at other people, we’re all saying, “Look at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.”
In anger, we’re focused on OURSELVES—Me-Me-Me—and in that moment other people—notably our children—hear only four words, “I don’t love you.” When we’re angry, we’re far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.
When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."
I promise you that this is true.
No, we don’t MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? “I don’t love you” is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at you—think about it honestly—and it’s what our children hear and feel when we’re angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.
It’s little wonder that they respond with their own anger.
Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.
But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionally—which means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditions—so how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.
Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We don’t know how to love unconditionally because we’ve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.
Childhood and Teenage Bullying is a Reaction to Not Being Loved Unconditionally
For emphasis, I’m going to say all this in a slightly different way:
When children behave in fear—when they have no confidence and become targets for bullies—it is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionally—loved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.
This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the world—at the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, anger, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.
THERE is the proof—in our addiction to all those behaviors—that overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.
Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally
Don't Get Bullied, Nor Do They Become Bullies
I’ve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT lack for confidence.
Instead they’re HAPPY—and responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.
With sufficient love, bullying cannot continue. Happy people don’t allow it to continue. They do something about it. Period. Full stop. It seems almost like this statement is too broad, too much. It’s not.
Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children
with their Bullying and Fear
How many times have you wondered why a child isn’t hearing what you’re saying? There’s an answer, and here it is: Because when you’re irritated, your child hears only “I don’t love you,” and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.
So THAT is what I'll be teaching you:
How to LOVE your children unconditionally,
which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.
If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you —what you’re really saying—because they’re not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the “I don’t love you” message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anything—like how to be loving and responsible themselves.
And if they have that powerful trifecta—they feel loved, and they are loving and responsible—they are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.
Your Children Can Learn to Be Happy
Your children can learn that being happy and confident is a natural result of feeling loved, and then with your help the bullying will stop.
Take my hand, and we’ll talk about what you can do—and how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. You’re going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.
If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences you’ll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.
no more missing school,
no more mysterious physical symptoms,
no more obvious fears of being around certain people and social situations,
No more tension in the family.
It’s astonishing to see and to feel.
Our children are not bad. We’re not bad.
We just have not known how to love and teach them.
Loving and Teaching Eliminates Bullying and Fear in Children
What we’re doing with our kids around their fears and their not feeling worthwhile IS NOT WORKING.
Loving and teaching them does.
Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors you’re dealing with, not if you’re really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.
You’re about to learn how to ELIMINATE behaviors in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.
I make you another promise:
Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else you’ve done as a parent.
Transforming, Not Managing Your Children
We’re really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. We’re not looking to make your children more manageable. That’s not even close to being enough.
Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. It’s a transformation.
If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, I’M fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacular—as we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.
There is not a single thing you’ll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.
You can do this, so let's get started.
Click the button below—it’s free—to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.