Bring on the Bad Breath

A friend, Larry, and I were talking about how much people want Real Love in their lives. "I was talking to another friend one day," Larry said, "who told me how much he hated bad breath. He couldn't be in the same room with it. I said that I kind of liked it. My friend couldn't believe what I was saying. 'You LIKE bad breath?' he asked. "Then Larry explained how in the fifth grade his teacher had paid him a lot of attention. If there was something he didn't understand, she didn't hesitate to stay after class to help him. She looked him in the eye. She talked to him while he sat at a chair next to her desk. He adored the attention she gave him, and she also had bad breath.

Notice that I didn't say, "but she also had bad breath." What mattered most to Larry was that this woman genuinely cared about him, and part of her overall package was that her breath was less than rosy—which in the presence of Real Love actually became an attractive characteristic.

More than anything, we want to feel unconditionally loved. If we can have that, we'll take whatever personal flaws come with the person giving it to us. That's useful to remember both as a giver and receiver of love.