Without sufficient Real Love, we can be only empty, confused, and afraid. In that condition, we can’t really know who we are. We’re nothing but reactions to pain. So, how do we figure out who we are? First, we need to find people who can love us, people to help us heal our wounds, and people to teach us how to love others. Notice that in each of these steps, we need other people.
Suppose I wanted to find out what objects you were holding out of my sight behind a waist high curtain. How could I do that without looking over the curtain? Not complicated. I would ask you to drop the object repeatedly into a flat pan of modeling clay. After you drop the first object several times, I inspect the impressions made in the clay. I see straight lines, circles, and pointed holes. Conclusion? It’s a nail.
After you drop the next object several times, I find only round impression, with sinuous tracks running through them. Conclusion? Baseball.
In short, without seeing it directly, I can learn what you’re holding as I see its interactions with another object—in this case, the pan of clay.
We learn who we are in a similar way. We don’t learn much about ourselves while sitting in a chair watching television, but we learn a lot as we interact with a variety of people. We learn whether we’re empty or afraid, and we learn how loving we are.
We need each other. We need other people to love us, and we need other people to practice loving. As we do this with each other, we learn who we really are.
Replace your fear and confusion with peace and happiness.
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