When to Trust

It is not possible for us to feel unconditional love—the most essential ingredient for genuine happiness—without trusting the person loving us. On many occasions I have been asked, “Does that mean I should trust everybody?”

Of course not. If you trust indiscriminately, you’ll find that most people are incapable of loving you, resulting either in a waste of time or in a sense of disappointment, even betrayal.

So how do we decide who to trust, and when? Allow me to share my personal approach.

I choose to trust almost everyone, excluding only a few who demonstrate right from the start that trusting them would obviously be unwise. Why do I do this? If I trust someone, and they’re worthy of trust, they’ll prove it with experience. If I trust someone, but they’re not worthy of trust, they’ll prove that with experience too, and at most I’ll waste a little time and hope. In short, if I trust someone, they’ll soon prove whether they’re worthy of trust, and in this way I’ll find trustworthy and loving people.

If, on the other hand, I don’t generally trust people, it doesn’t matter whether someone is trustworthy or not. If I don’t trust them, I’ll perceive everything they do in a pre-conceived and negative way, which will confirm my distrust. I will see them as I have chosen to see them, so I’ll never find someone worthy of my trust—someone whose love I might feel.

Love and happiness are the greatest treasures of life, and well worth any price or risk to find them, which is exactly what trusting is. Sure, if I trust, I MIGHT occasionally be disappointed, but if I don’t trust, I’ll NEVER find the love and happiness I need, only disappointment and sorrow.