When to Trust

By Greg Baer M.D.

November 4, 2016

It is not possible for us to feel unconditional love—the most essential ingredient for genuine happiness—without trusting the person loving us. On many occasions I have been asked, “Does that mean I should trust everybody?”

Of course not. If you trust indiscriminately, you’ll find that most people are incapable of loving you, resulting either in a waste of time or in a sense of disappointment, even betrayal.

So how do we decide who to trust, and when? Allow me to share my personal approach.

I choose to trust almost everyone, excluding only a few who demonstrate right from the start that trusting them would obviously be unwise. Why do I do this? If I trust someone, and they’re worthy of trust, they’ll prove it with experience. If I trust someone, but they’re not worthy of trust, they’ll prove that with experience too, and at most I’ll waste a little time and hope. In short, if I trust someone, they’ll soon prove whether they’re worthy of trust, and in this way I’ll find trustworthy and loving people.

If, on the other hand, I don’t generally trust people, it doesn’t matter whether someone is trustworthy or not. If I don’t trust them, I’ll perceive everything they do in a pre-conceived and negative way, which will confirm my distrust. I will see them as I have chosen to see them, so I’ll never find someone worthy of my trust—someone whose love I might feel.

Love and happiness are the greatest treasures of life, and well worth any price or risk to find them, which is exactly what trusting is. Sure, if I trust, I MIGHT occasionally be disappointed, but if I don’t trust, I’ll NEVER find the love and happiness I need, only disappointment and sorrow.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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