Weaving a Tapestry

By Greg Baer M.D.

January 6, 2017

Most of us are in a big hurry to find a great relationship, but this goal—while understandable—is almost invariably premature. We simply are not prepared to participate in the tapestry of a relationship.

On many occasions I have seen large, ancient, and intricate tapestries on the walls of museums, castles, and great manor houses. They are gorgeous works of art, created not with a brush but by weaving threads in a way that the final product appears from a distance to be a painting.

Making a tapestry first requires setting up a large frame with vertical threads—the warp—evenly and finely spaced from one side of the frame to the other. The artistic work is then created by weaving horizontal threads—the woof—between and around the vertical ones. Such fine work requires a great deal of native talent and practice.

I have intentionally omitted the true first step of creating a tapestry, which is the preparation of the threads used in the weaving. Until the thread is properly created—the cotton planted, picked, ginned, carded, and spun—working on the tapestry is impossible. When looking at a tapestry, however, rarely do we consider all the effort that goes into making the threads, nor do many people who weave them.

Similarly, in our relationships we tend not to consider first our own emotional work—spinning the threads of our lives—by finding and trusting Real Love, healing our wounds, and learning to be loving. Instead we want to go straight to the weaving of the tapestry—experiencing the joy of having healthy relationships. But it doesn’t work that way.

The tapestry of relationships is rewarding beyond words, so richly fulfilling that it’s worth all the preparation that is required to spin the threads we’ll use to complete the weaving.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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