Pull a Rope or a Plow?

By Greg Baer M.D.

July 26, 2019

Susan came to me and said, “I know people who have been in Real Love for about as long as I have—about a year—but they seem to be having a pretty easy time of it. They’re really moving along. I’m not. Something must be wrong with me.”

“Oh, not necessarily,” I said. “Have you ever pulled a rope along behind you on the ground?”


“Not too difficult, is it?”


“Most people who appear to be moving along easily are simply pulling a rope. You, on the other hand, have a plow attached to the end of the rope, and the plow is sunk a foot deep into the ground. You are really doing your personal emotional work. You’re facing your fears. You’re learning to be responsible. That’s like pulling a plow. Ever pulled a plow?”


“No, of course not. It’s very difficult. That’s why they use mules, oxen, and horses to do it. Or a tractor. You can’t compare your work with the work of others. You really are pulling a plow, and the load is difficult. Don’t be critical of your speed. Be grateful that you’re doing so well with all you’re learning and all the fears you’re facing.”

We all carry different loads. When you’re pulling a plow, don’t compare yourself to people who are simply pulling a rope.

Real Love book

Replace your anger & confusion with peace and happiness.


{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

Subscribe to our newsletter now!