The Prison of Anger

There is so much talk in the news about the destructive forces on the planet: AIDS, malaria, malnutrition, war, racism, and so on. But we're not paying attention to one influence that is causing more harm that all the others put together: ANGER.

Anger

• is the fuel of every conflict and even every war.
• eliminates love and happiness like no other influence.
• inflicts the deepest wounds.
• is a poison that spreads with astonishing power and speed.
• turns crowds into mobs.
• destroys marriages.
• crushes the spirit of children.
• makes learning impossible.
• isolates us from everyone around us.

Many courses have been developed and books written for the purpose of helping us manage and control our anger, but those have generally proven to be quite ineffective. Anger still rages over the face of the earth like a consuming fire.

We need far more than anger management or anger control. We need to better understand the cause and nature of anger and thereby gain the ability to ELIMINATE it. Fortunately, in recent years we have acquired an understanding of anger that has given us the ability to do just that.

ANGER: A COMMON EMOTION

Anger is an emotion so common among us that it has become like a background noise. We see it almost everywhere we look, so we scarcely notice it anymore. We're angry

• when our spouses fail to do what we want.
• when our children are loud, resistant, or disobedient.
• when people fail to appreciate what we've done.
• at other drivers on the road who get in our way.
• at people who make us wait.
• when people break their promises.
• when our bosses are demanding.
• when things are "unfair."
• at the idiot who just took our parking space.
• when people fail to meet our expectations.
• when people try to control us.
• when people criticize us.
• when people are angry at us.
• at people who get in our way.

When we consider how often the above events occur, we realize that most of us are angry many times every day.

THE PRISON OF ANGER

Now, think about all the times you've become angry at a spouse, a child, a co-worker, or a friend. On a single one of those occasions did your anger ever bring you a sense of genuine peace or happiness? Did your anger ever bring you closer to another person? Or enrich your relationship? NEVER. Anger is uniformly harmful, both to us personally and to our relationships. And yet we keep getting angry.

It's like we're prisoners to anger. Every time I claim that you make me angry, you OWN me. I hand my ability to be happy over to you, wrapped in a bow. You can now make me angry and ruin my happiness any time you want.

Do we really want to live like that?
Do we really want to be prisoners to our anger?

Sure, anger is understandable.
Yes, it's a natural emotion.
Yes, we have a RIGHT to be angry.

But the bottom line is this: Do we want to live in the chains that anger forms around us, or do we want freedom and joy?