Beyond Control: Where Freedom Breeds Love and Growth

By Greg Baer M.D.

March 14, 2018


The phrase “out of control” generally has a bad reputation.

Riding a horse who is “out of control” is usually associated with unpleasant results.
Investors tend to avoid a stock market that is out of control.
When fires rage out of control, lives are lost and property damaged.
Running down a hill out of control tends to end badly.

A certain amount of control can be good:
Traffic laws generally control unnecessary accidents.
Surgeons do well to control bleeding and the removal of unwanted tumors.

But there are so many instances where people and results are better when circumstances are “out of control.”
Loving relationships are out of control. What truly loving partner would control the other?
Conversations often are richer when not controlled. The participants are thereby freed to be themselves and contribute who they really are to the interaction.

On the whole, people do better individually and in relationships when they are out of control—at the very least, external control. So what is better than control? Love makes relationships better, and love isn’t controlled but chosen. Being “in the flow” often allows us to be guided by intuition and inspiration, thereby exceeding what we would control ourselves.

Prudently experiment with letting go of some control, and see what happens in your life and with your relationships.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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